This Time
by tofem
Summary: This time she wants to get it right but nothing have ever worked out just because she wanted them to. So why should this time be any different. Sara/Cath story. Not sure of the rating.
1. Chapter 1

This is my second story and I'm just starting to get the hang of this writting but I haven't had the first chapter beta read so I hope there aren't to many mistakes.

They are not mine I'm just borrowing them

**NOW BETA READ** thanks to the help of the fabulous cathandsaraforver55

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**Chapter 1**

Mid-shift Catherine was assigned to a scene two hours away and she was going solo. As if this wasn't bad enough there was copious amounts of evidence that needed to be sifted through and lifted. The simple dead body that Grissom had promised when he had sent her there was not what she had expected. Still Catherine should have known better than to trust Grissom when he didn't look her in the eye. The murder appeared to be simple. Catherine came to the conclusion that it was most likely a junkie who was looking for money to pay for his next fix when he stumbled upon the owner, and had been spooked. Yet Catherine still had to go through all the evidence before she could close the case, and with this house that was going to take hours. There was no real way of knowing where the murderer might have been throughout the building, and what he had touched with all this clutter.

Catherine's phone started ringing while she was in the middle of dusting for prints. When she glanced at the ID Nancy's name flashed across the screen of her phone, so she assumed it must be important since her sister usually didn't call during normal shift hours.

"Hey Nance, what's up?"

"_Hi sis, I know this is really terrible timing, but an emergency has come up and I have to get back to work._"

Taking a deep calming breath Catherine let out a sigh before answering with a resigned voice, "Is it possible for you to take Lindsey with you? I'm in the middle of a scene that's going to take at least 3 more hours to process, and to top it off I'm 2 hours out of the city."

"_I'm really sorry Cath, if I could you know I would, but that's just not possible this time. Luckily Jeremy is at a friend's so I won't have to find a place for him to stay too._"

Sighing once more Catherine says, "That's okay, just bring her to the lab and I'll call Judy to tell her I'll be back as soon as I can. Take care Nance, and I'll talk to you later."

After exchanging goodbyes with Nancy and hanging up Catherine called Judy to ask her to take Lindsey to the break room and let her sleep on the couch. Judy agreed and even volunteered to check in on Lindsey once in a while to make sure she was okay.

Hoping that one of the guys would be back from their scenes shortly to look after her daughter, Catherine started processing her scene as quickly and thoroughly as she could so she could get back to Vegas as soon as possible.

**Back at the lab**

Nancy came through the doors of the Las Vegas Crime lab with a very sleepy Lindsey hanging onto one hand, a Scooby-Doo sleeping bag under her other arm, and a pink schoolbag with all the essentials an 11 year old could need or have slung over her shoulder. Lindsey was wearing her pink pajamas with a jacket over them, and her favorite teddy in hand. She wouldn't go anywhere at night without that bear.

They were met with a smile from Judy, who took Lindsey's things. Nancy helped Lindsey into the break room, getting her comfortable on the couch, and kissing the young girl goodnight before leaving the building.

Lindsey fell asleep just as Judy left the room and she wasn't bothered by any of the normal sounds of the busy lab. That is, before she bolted up, wide awake, screaming.

At the same time as Lindsey started screaming Sara was on her way to the break room for a well deserved cup of coffee. Sara was the only CSI in the lab at the moment because, as usual, she had already used up her monthly overtime, which only resulted in paperwork and lab work. The worst thing was Grissom wouldn't let her back out in the field until next month, which was still a week away. Sara was therefore in great need of coffee because there's only so much paperwork one girl could do in one shift before going crazy.

So walking into the break room as Lindsey started screaming and seeing a crying and startled Lindsey, Sara forgot that she usually didn't know how to act around kids and that this kid was Catherine's. Not to mention the older Willows clearly hated the brunette and didn't want Sara around her daughter.

Sara sat on the couch next to Lindsey and wrapped her in her arms holding the girl closely, while gently rocking Lindsey and humming softly in her ear.

Exactly what Sara always wished her mother would have done when she had, had a nightmare as a child, and it always calmed Emily right down when she was upset. _Don't go there right now Sidle. Wait until you're alone and then you can have a trip down memory lane_.

After sitting there and humming into Lindsey's hair trying to calm the girl for a couple of minutes Lindsey finally lifted her head up a little and looked at Sara.

"Are you okay now sweetie?" Lindsey slowly nodded which encouraged Sara to continue, "Did you have a bad dream?" While looking at the little girl with warmth in her eyes that she usually reserved for Emily.

"Do you want to talk about it?" Sara gently asked while still holding the little redhead.

Lindsey quietly said, "I was in the car and the water was coming in real fast." Lindsey started crying again and it was becoming harder to understand her as she continued, "And Mommy couldn't get to me before the water reached me, and then I woke up."

After getting that out her tears wouldn't seem to stop and Sara just wrapped her in her arms gently rocking the girl while whispering, "You're safe now, I've got you," over and over until the crying slowly stopped.

After just sitting and enjoying the comfort of Sara for awhile Lindsey quietly said "I'm thirsty and I don't think I can fall asleep again."

While this was happening at the lab, Catherine was trying to finish her scene but with all the clutter in the house it was hard to tell what's important, or what was just clutter. So far it looked like a robbery gone wrong, the burglar probably thought nobody was home and was surprised going through drawers.

At this point Catherine was cursing the Vegas criminals for being so busy on this night that she had to take this case solo instead of having somebody to help her. Then remembering why she had to be solo, Catherine loudly cursed Sara for working too much overtime already and Grissom for being such a stickler for the rules that he wouldn't allow Sara to at least help a little.

The officers assigned to watch the scene while the CSI was there was keeping their distance. They had both heard rumors of CSI Willows' temper and knew not to cross her path when she was in the kind of mood she was in.

She would have preferred to work with Nick or Warrick but she could have made due with Sara. They could have taken two cars and worked in different rooms so they didn't have to talk to or be in the same room for more than a few minutes at the time. That was all Catherine could handle so that she wouldn't start another a fight after Eddie's case. It seemed that Sara was just fine with that deal because she never backed down from a fight with Catherine. Never.

"Damn Sara, and damn this stupid junkie that got caught trying to steal the victim's money and prescription pills." Catherine was saying out loud to nobody in particular. "My little girl's alone at the lab and I'm stuck in God knows where."

Finally done with the crime scene Catherine headed back to Vegas and the lab.

Back at the lab Lindsey and Sara found some juice in the fridge that didn't smell like Grissom had put another experiment in there for the last couple of days. Sara offered Lindsey some of her lunch.

Lindsey understood that Sara had to work and wouldn't stay with her forever. She knew that Sara working was important, because Sara and her mom worked hard and long hours to get the bad guys. So the young girl asked Sara, "Can I come with you? I promise I'll sit still and I won't cause any trouble…please, I don't want to be alone." Who could say no to that beautiful little girl? Even though Sara knew Catherine would not be happy when she found Lindsey in the same room as Sara. The brunette really had no other choice than to say, "Of course you can join me. I'm only doing paperwork today."

Sara and Lindsey made their way to the back lab, which Sara had claimed as hers when she first started. It was known as Sara's lab to all of the lab techs. This lab was where people went to find Sara if she was at the Crime Lab.

Sara lifted Lindsey up on a stool so she could reach the table and put the rest of her lunch in front of Lindsey. "We are not really allowed to eat in the labs, but if you don't tell Grissom I'll make an exception just for you." Lindsey giggled while she happily said "I promise I won't tell Uncle Gil."

While Lindsey finished the rest of the food and her juice Sara was working on her paperwork and soon both of them forgot what they were supposed to be doing and started talking about anything and everything. Much to Sara's surprise she actually knew what to say to this kid. _Maybe because Emily taught me a thing or two_. Without them realizing they started talking about school and soon the topic ventured to math and science, which came much more naturally to Sara than friends, or about how stupid the boys were.

Catherine hurried through the front doors of the lab and Judy looked up from the phone and put a hand over the mouth piece while saying, "I haven't been able to check on her the last couple of hours but last I checked she was sleeping peacefully."

Catherine smiled and waved, "Thanks, I'm sure she's fine"

After dropping her evidence off in trace, DNA, and all the prints she found at the scene with Mandy she headed to the break room to see Lindsey.

Not finding Lindsey in her sleeping bag in the break room Catherine began to worry until she noticed what time it was, and figured that her daughter probably woke up and went to annoy one of the guys and was in one of the labs. At the same time she remembered that they didn't have that much time before school and Lindsey had to be on time today, because they would get in trouble if they were late one more time this month. Catherine had to hurry up finding Lindsey if they are going to have time for breakfast before school.

Catherine looked through the labs and started to panic when she couldn't seem to find her daughter. Suddenly she heard giggling from the direction of Sara's lab, of all places.

Just as Catherine was about to walk through the door she heard not only Lindsey but also Sara laughing. _Sara never laughs. Not even with Greg goofing around in the break room; at least not when I'm around. _

_But what is Sara doing with my little girl? Sara hates me, we are always fighting, so why would she be in there laughing with my daughter? Get a grip Catherine! You don't have time to stand around thinking all day_. Catherine's musings were interrupted when she was spotted by Lindsey.

"Mom! Look Sara was showing me! These really cool math things I could use in my science project."

Sara blushed at Lindsey outburst and the only response Catherine could formulate was, "Sweetie come on we're going to be late again and you still have to change and have breakfast."

"That's okay Mom, I already ate, Sara gave me," as Lindsey was saying this Catherine glared at Sara, "something to eat."

"Come Lindsey we've got to go". Meanwhile Catherine glared at Sara as Lindsey walked out of the door. Once her daughter was out of earshot Catherine hissed at Sara, "Don't feed my daughter the junk that goes for food in this lab." Then she left to join Lindsey in the locker room so she could change.

Sara just stared at Catherine's back with a sad expression, but nobody was around to see it. While she softly said to no one in particular, "We were just talking about her school work," before tears began to stream from Sara's eyes.

When Catherine and Lindsey were ready to leave, Lindsey turned around and started back toward Sara's lab, but Catherine grabbed her arm, "We don't have time we have to g…"

"But I have to go say bye and thanks to Sara for letting me eat her lunch, Mom."

"We'll be late, so you can say that the next time you see Sara."

"Yeah, but Mom, when's that going to be?"

"I don't know sweetie and no more buts." _Not for a long time if I can help it_.

On the way to school in the car all Lindsey could talk about was how cool it was to hang out with Sara, and how she gave her ideas for the science project they were supposed to start in a couple of months.

Catherine didn't really know how to react to her daughter's praise of all things Sara. She never saw the other woman as good with kids. _Who was she kidding, she never saw Sara as anything other than the CSI that Grissom brought in, and a woman that puts her work before anything else including her social life._


	2. Chapter 2

Thanks to those of you that was kind enough to leave me a review.

Keep in mind that the only thing I know about cars or engines are what I need to drive my car.

Here is the next instalment.

**NOW BETA READ**

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**Chapter 2**

Picking Lindsey up from school on a Friday was one of Catherine favorite times. On Friday's Lindsey was extra bubbly and today didn't seem to be an exception to that, but Catherine had problems just enjoying her girl today. Nancy called earlier and said that she couldn't take Lindsey for the night and Lindsey's best friend's mom was sick so she couldn't do a sleepover either. All this forced Catherine to call Grissom to ask for a favor, not a thing the blonde CSI liked doing, because that only led to owing favors and that was never a good thing with Grissom. Knowing him he would call it in when she was on vacation.

"Please Gil, I can't find a sitter, and I have to do something. I can't just leave her alone all night she's too young for that, so can I please have the night off."

"Sorry Catherine, but I cannot do that. Day Shift has been swamped and they are already handing some of their new cases off to us. I cannot spare you; you'll just have to bring her in like last night, that worked fine, and I'm sure the techs could help keep an eye on her."

"Can't you just send Sara out in the field? I know she maxed on her overtime but can't you bend the rules a little this time? You know she'll be ecstatic."

"You know I cannot do that, and the best that I can do right now is to not call you in as of right now."

"Yeah, I know but I had to try. See you tonight Gil."

_Damn Sara, why does she always ruin things for me? Now I have to bring my little girl to a place where the cruelty of life is exposed; the one thing I have never wanted her to see._

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Sara was definitely not looking forward being on lab duty for the next week, and she had even begged and pleaded with Grissom to let her out in the field when the night shift was so overloaded. But there was no talking sense into the man.

So here she was stuck in the lab doing mostly paperwork, and not only her own but also some of Grissom's, because he never spent any time on it himself, if he had the chance to get out of it. When he told everybody that he was doing paperwork in his office he was really spending time with his pet spiders often choosing to leave his paperwork to Catherine.

Sara was waiting in the break room before shift, hoping to hear that Grissom had changed his mind and there was a case for her, but instead Sara found herself getting ready to flee the room at the sound of Catherine's heels coming down the hall. There was no way she could get away now without Catherine seeing her, and there was no reason to give the other woman the satisfaction of seeing her running away. Or allowing Catherine the knowledge that the blonde's comments from yesterday hurt Sara. That would only lead to more acid comments of that Sara was sure.

The surprise was clear on Sara's face when Lindsey entered the room ahead of her mother, loaded with her teddy bear and backpack, and followed by Catherine with the sleeping bag.

As Lindsey saw Sara she jumped right into her arms and squealed, "How cool is this! I get to stay here again tonight, are you staying in the lab? Can we talk like last time? Uh, do I get to help you like you said I could?"

"Hi to you too Shortstuff, you really have to remember to take a breath in between sentences like we talked about yesterday." Sara laughed and smiled at the girl.

"Lindsey sweetheart, remember what we talked about in the car. You can't run around taking up people's time, they all have to work. Speaking of work I have to run, Grissom has already assigned cases." Catherine smiled as she kissed Lindsey goodbye.

"Catherine wait a second. Grissom already handed out cases. Was he too chicken to actually talk to me?"

Catherine actually smiled at that, though just a little, before she walked out saying, "Most likely yes but there's a car coming in that you get to process."

As Catherine left she could already hear Lindsey talking a mile a minute, and it also sounded like Sara was taking part in the conversation; not just ignoring her daughter's long and often weird topics. Topics which Lindsey tended to jump to randomly. This brought a smile to Catherine's face for the second time in short while. Though it did give her a strange feeling she couldn't quite explain. Not that she really wanted to. She didn't have time for confusing thoughts if she was going to get back to her little girl before breakfast. So Catherine pushed it all aside for later.

After talking for half an hour in the break room, even though Lindsey did most of the talking, Sara got paged that the car had arrived in the garage and was ready for processing.

"I have to go take this car apart. Will you be okay in here by yourself?"

"Mom said I could stay up for awhile because it's Friday. So can I come watch you? I won't be in your way or talk too much. I promise, please?"

"Yeah you can come, but only if you are sure it's okay with your mom, I don't need her to be madder at me than she already is. I know you won't be in the way and you don't talk too much. You just get excided and forget to breathe, but we are working on that, right?"

"Yes! She really said I could stay up, and I promise that I'm trying to remember breathing."

"Then come on Shortstuff, this way. I think I might just let you help. I can show you how to take a car apart."

"That's so cool! My mom doesn't know anything about cars. You really think I can learn how to do that?"

"Yeah, I could teach you, but I can't give you hands on with this car because that's evidence and you don't have the proper training. But if you want and your mom gives the okay, I can take you to a friend of mine's garage, and we can borrow one of her cars so you can work on it."

Lindsey's only response to that was to jump up and down and squeal.

"I'll take that as a yes, but only if you get permission from your mom."

Lindsey kept jumping but she stopped squealing. This was followed by her beginning to talk a mile a minute again about how cool this was, and how envious her friends would be when she told them that she got to help taking a car apart.

Sara was softly laughing at Lindsey's excitement. "Breathe, Lindsey breathe. Okay, here is the deal Shortstuff, you can help me with the tools and I'll talk you through everything. You are allowed to look, but no touching of any of the car parts. Deal?"

"Yeah, totally, I get to look at everything and I can ask questions, right?" As she asked the last part she looked pleadingly at Sara.

"Sure Shortstuff, any question you like."

Lindsey loved this time alone with Sara. She had no idea why her mom didn't have Sara over when the rest of the team came to parties or dinners, because Sara was so much cooler than all the guys combined. Lindsey put that thought aside to ask her mom about later. Now she was just going to enjoy her possibility to ask all the questions she wanted answered. She had the full attention of an adult that was willingly spending time with her; that was not something that came around all that often, and she was going to take full advantage of this time. She could beg her mom about Sara later.

As all this flew through Lindsey's mind she started firing questions at an unsuspecting Sara.

Sara just held up both of her hands while saying "Calm down girl. First you have to remember to breathe." Silently watching the girl calm herself down by taking a big breath, Sara continued, "Yes, I promised you could ask any question you wanted, but you have to give me some time to answer you." At this Lindsey looked embarrassed but Sara just said, "Where would the fun be if it was only you asking questions and you didn't get any answers? You okay with that?" Sara smiled as she saw Lindsey's bright smile and eager nod.

Sara started working on the car and Lindsey kept asking all sorts of questions, not all of which concerned the car, but Sara happily answered all the girl's questions. Sara's was working somewhat slower than normal, but that didn't bother her as much as it usually would. To her surprise she was having a great time with Lindsey.

When Sara noticed that Lindsey kept yawning every so often she decided that it was time to get the girl into her sleeping bag.

"You want to have a little something to eat and drink before you fall asleep, Shortstuff?"

"Yeah, but can I have some of your lunch like yesterday? Mom didn't bring me any. We're going out for pancakes in the morning and I get to choose which kind I want. I think she's sorry for dumping me in the lab for the second night in a row, but I'm having a great time."

"Sure, but I actually want some this time," Sara's lips curled at Lindsay's guilty expression.

"Sorry, I didn't mean to eat it all, and I promise that won't happen again."

"I'm sure it won't because you will have fallen asleep before half my food is gone." Sara smiled sweetly at the girl while Lindsey was rubbing her eyes.

"You have to change into your pajamas before we eat because you're so tired. Deal?"

Lindsey liked that Sara asked if things were okay and not just demanding that she did what was told like everybody else. By the time Sara had gotten her food and something to drink for the both of them Lindsey was already in her pajamas and on her way into her sleeping bag. "I'm ready for the food now, you coming Sara?"

Sara's prediction of Lindsey falling asleep had come true. The girl was asleep within 15 minutes and had barely eaten anything. Sara quietly tucked Lindsey in and finished the rest of her lunch before she turned the lights of and left the room. On her way out she hung a note on the door that warned people with bodily harm if they disturbed or woke Lindsey up and signed the note.

This note ensured that all the lab techs that came looking for a cup of coffee, very quietly left the hall without getting their coffee. No one was going to chance Sara carrying out her threat.

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By the time that 8 am came around no one had had the courage to enter the break room and chance waking Lindsey. Sara had been by regularly to check on her and make sure she didn't have more nightmares.

Catherine finally had time to come back to the lab. She was ready to take off and spend the day with her daughter. There was no way Catherine would take any calls today. She really owed Lindsey for the last two nights.

The blonde softly chuckled as she reached the door to the break room and saw the note. She had no doubt that Sara would follow through on her threat. Catherine just didn't understand why Sara cared so much about Lindsey that the brunette would threaten the techs away from the break room. Considering the fact that the techs usually got cranky if there was no coffee around, and all of them were easily bribed with good coffee not like that stuff the County was willing to pay for.

Catherine turned and saw her sweet little angel sleeping. She slowly sat down next to Lindsey on the couch to wake her up so they could get out of here. "Lindsey, sweetie we can go now."

At the same time that Catherine leaned down to kiss Lindsey on the head, Sara came bursting through the open door while saying, "Don't think that the note is just an empty threat." Realizing who she was talking to Sara stuttered, "Uh, Catherine sorry I didn't know it was you. I thought it was one of the lab techs. I'm really sorry. I didn't mean that I would hurt you, and I didn't mean that you couldn't come see your daughter. I only put that note on the door to make sure she got some sleep and I checked on her to make sure she didn't have more nightmares."

"Sara, calm down. You're babbling." Catherine grinned "Hey, you did well, I'm not mad at you. It looks like Lindsey is doing great, so just relax and have a cup of coffee before you head home."

_What!! I think I walked into the twilight zone, I'm babbling and Catherine reassured me that I did well with Lindsey and that she isn't mad._

"Hey, Sara can we go take that car apart today after pancakes?" Lindsey asked with a big yawn as she woke up and interrupted Sara's rambling thoughts.

"Shortstuff, first of all I have to talk to Cam, because we cannot just invade her garage without asking her first. It's her garage so her rules go. Second of all the deal was that you needed to talk to your mom and get her approval first, 'member?" Sara was smiling softly and sat down at the coffee table while talking to Lindsey.

Through the conversation Catherine wore a baffled expression and couldn't stop thinking; _what the hell? Lindsey wants to spend time with Sara and they already made plans without checking with me first!?! And why would Lindsey want to go to a garage?_

While Catherine was caught up in her thoughts, Sara had quietly said goodbye to Lindsey and left.

She would swing by Cam's on her way from work just to talk to her again. That way Sara could spend some time relaxing and talking with her friend. The younger woman didn't have to wait until Catherine gave Lindsey the okay to join her, which would most likely never happen. This way her and Cam could get caught up again. It had been a month since Sara had the time to stop in. Maybe one of the guys would have some news about any of their kid's test results. That would be just what Sara needed after being stuck in the lab for the past two nights.

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Catherine didn't know what she was going to say to Lindsey when she saw her daughter's expression. "Come on sweetie, let's go have pancakes and then we can do whatever you want to do today."

"Hey Mom, why did Sara look at me like that when I told her to come have pancakes with us?"

"Look at you like what?"

"Like she didn't really know what to say, and like she wanted to be anywhere but here. She just mumbled that she didn't want to take away from my time with you."

At this point Lindsey was looking lost, confused, and a little sad. "Why didn't she want to come with me, Mom? We had fun with the car, and the night before when she helped me after my bad dream. Plus she didn't mind all my questions like everybody else. She answered them all and reminded me to breathe." Lindsey explained before she had to take a deep breath.

"I don't know sweetheart. She was probably really tired, and couldn't think straight, just like you sometimes get when you are overtired."

While Lindsey wasn't paying attention to her mother, the older Willows looked extremely guilty. _I must be the reason Sara left in a hurry, and she didn't tell my little girl. She has gotten so used to me yelling at her, and picking fights with her for no good reason, that she excuses herself from the room when I'm around. Maybe I should take a page out of Lindsey's book and be nicer to Sara. She can't be that bad if she was willing to answer all of Lindsey's questions, and still be willing to take her to a friend's garage after that. Nobody, not even me, can handle all my daughter's questions without going a little crazy._

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All through breakfast Lindsey was telling her mom everything about Sara. In between her praises she kept begging her mom to let her go with Sara to her friend's garage. Lindsey even told Catherine about her nightmare and what Sara had done after some prodding from Catherine's side. That was a new side to Lindsey that Catherine hadn't seen since before Eddie died. The little girl had not been willing to share any of the many nightmares that Catherine knew she was having.

This only added to Catherine's guilty conscience about the way she treated Sara, and what she blamed Sara for doing even if the worst parts where never spoken out loud. Not like all the other times she had said things to deliberately hurt and belittle the brunette.


	3. Chapter 3

I still don't own them but I have included my own people but mostly in the following chapters.

Thanks for the reviews it is nice to know that some of you are reading and enjoying the story. That is definitely a reason to continue writing.

**NOW BETA READ**

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**Chapter 3**

By the end of their breakfast Lindsey hadn't been able to convince her mom to let her go with Sara, but over the next weeks Lindsey kept pleading until Catherine finally gave in and agreed to talk to Sara about the possibility of Lindsey going to the garage.

"Look Linds I only agreed to talk to her, I didn't say that you could go."

"Yeah I heard you mom, but that does mean that the chance of me actually going more than doubled. So I'll take my chances with you talking to Sara, because she is so cool you won't be able to find a reason to say no."

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During those weeks Lindsey was pleading with Catherine, the blonde had made a real effort to be nicer to Sara and smile at her. At first Sara had thought that it was just a new way for Catherine to hurt her. To get the brunette to open up and then crush her when she started trusting Catherine. Sara wasn't all that comfortable being in the same room as the older woman, but she knew that if she was ever going to take Lindsey with her to Cam's she would need to actually talk to Catherine. Plus she was enjoying them not fighting all of the time.

One night the two of them could be found alone on a break during a slow shift.

"Lindsey can't stop talking about you, or how you promised to teach her about cars and engines." Catherine stated.

At this Sara's expression became one of discomfort and uncertainty, but she allowed the blonde to continue, "Please don't make promises you don't intend to keep, she's had enough of that with her father and my mom. Every time her heart was broken I had to find a way to put it back together again." At this Catherine sighed and looked closely at Sara before she kept going, "We're just getting things back to somewhat normal after Eddie's death; so please don't promise Lindsey things and then back out at the last minute, because I'm not sure how to fix her heart this time. She is more excited than I have seen her with any of Eddie's plans."

Sara just held up her hand to try and stop the flood of words coming from the other woman.

"Catherine, I always keep my promises. If I'm not sure, I don't promise."

The younger CSI was unsure where this was coming from, but she instinctively knew that she had to reassure Catherine that she wouldn't back down. Sara wasn't even sure if this was actually about Lindsey, or if Catherine had seen too much and wanted to protect both her daughter and herself against the pain that comes with disappointment.

"Catherine I would never do anything to hurt Lindsey, and taking her to the garage to work with cars was just to give her the same kind of outlet I was given when I was a teenager. It's okay if you're not comfortable having Lindsey come with me, and I can talk to her so you don't have to be the bad guy here. She was just really excited when she was helping me with the car when you had to bring her in, and she reminded me of me when I was young. Working on cars helped me a lot."

Sara kept on going hoping to convince Catherine that going to the garage was a good idea, and that it could help Lindsey deal with her father's death.

She was so concentrated about finding the right words to convince the blonde that she hadn't noticed the smile forming on both off their lips.

"First of all, there is no way that I can say no to Lindsey, and not come out as the bad guy no matter how the news is delivered to my daughter." Catherine was smiling and looking at a very nervous Sara. "Secondly, you can take her, but I want to meet this friend of yours when you go."

Sara's nervousness disappeared as she heard this, and a grin formed on her lips that touched the corners of her eyes, which was not something Catherine had ever had the pleasure of seeing before. _Sara is so beautiful when she smiles like that...great Catherine where did that come from_?

Sara couldn't contain herself. "I have next weekend off, and had actually already planned on spending it tinkering on some car. So it would not be a problem bringing Lindsey along, and you can meet Cam before we start."

"Wow, I didn't expect it to be this soon, but Linds will be ecstatic. If you give me the address and time I will drop her off and then I can meet your friend."

"That should leave us enough time to find an old wreck we can work on." Sara was practically beaming at this point. She loved talking and thinking about cars. They had been her only real joy the first two years in Las Vegas after she left San Francisco and Emily behind.

"What? You're going to find a car for Lindsey? Does that mean that it will be her car? Why can't she just help with yours?"

"Catherine, you're starting to sound like your daughter. Asking tons of questions giving me no time to answer." Sara smiled as Catherine looked somewhat sheepish.

"First off, I don't have a car that I'm working on at this point; I am usually lending a hand on whatever Cam's working on at the time or general things in the garage. If you don't want to I can keep the car. I just thought Lindsey would have more fun if she was working on her own car. When it's done, she can sell it or keep it till she gets her permit. I did that with my first car."

She had been shipped around for the last 6 months from one foster family to another after her mother had killed her father when her case worker had placed her with Carolyn. At that point Sara hadn't expected anything but to be shipped off in the next week; however, Carolyn had been different than the other foster parents.

Sara was acting out and she knew she hadn't been easy to get along with and it had taken her two months to say more than two words to Carolyn. To Sara's surprise Carolyn hadn't given up on her like Sara had expected when she was placed there.

Carolyn had, had foster kids before and she knew she was being tested. She had not wanted to be another in a long line of adults that let the young girl down so when Sara had started talking she had introduced her to Henry. A friend of Carolyn's that owned a garage nearby. He was willing to let Sara let out some of her frustrations by working in his shop.

It had taken a long time before Sara had trusted Henry enough to spend any real time with him, but Carolyn and Henry had saved her life. Sara just didn't know it at the time, but that placement had been the turning point in her life.

"But Sara I can't afford to buy a car, or the parts, or for that matter having it stored until she can drive."

At this Catherine was looking embarrassed that she couldn't give that to her daughter, but things were tight and there was no way she could find that kind of money.

"The car itself won't cost anything. Cam can get these old cars for free, because people know what she can do with an old car, and they don't want to spend the time or money themselves. If Lindsey is willing to do the work the parts won't cost her anything either, and the storage we can talk about when it is finished."

Sara was looking extremely smug at this point. She knew there was no way the blonde would be able to say no now.

"I'm not stupid Sara. I know that the expenses for fixing an old car aren't cheap and that Lindsey working on "her" car can't pay for that."

"Uh, I don't think you're stupid, quite the opposite actually. And I don't mean to offend you, but that was the deal Henry made with me when I first started so I'm just carrying on with tradition. It's okay I can keep the car as mine and Lindsey won't have to know any of this."

Sara was backpedaling as fast as she could and her smile had vanished as the older CSI started raising her voice. She was sure the blonde was getting ready to yell at her. _I should have known better, the smiling and friendliness with Catherine was a phase and we are right back to yelling and fighting._ Now Sara was hoping that Catherine let Lindsey join her, but Sara was not taking any chances. _There is no reason to get your hopes up Sidle, only to have them crushed again._

Catherine couldn't make sense of the myriad of emotions she saw crossing Sara's eyes. All the emotions disappeared as fast as they had come and Sara's eyes returned to unreadable; as unreadable as they had been since the day the younger woman had joined the team. _Sara's changed from smiling to indifferent and started back peddling on her offer but why? I mean I didn't yell at her, yes I raised my voice, but only slightly and it is not like how used to be_.

Catherine didn't know why, but she didn't like the change in Sara's expression and she wanted the smile back in Sara's eyes.

"Sara, I know that, but I can't let you buy my daughter a car and the needed parts."

At this Sara breathed a sigh of relief; the blonde was not planning on yelling at her and it sounded like she was still willing to let Lindsey come along. Catherine might not have changed her mind yet and Sara really wanted to get out of there before it happened, so she hurriedly said to meet her at 10am and gave Catherine the address for the garage and left the room.

Catherine was left with a puzzled expression on her face and didn't really know why Sara had left as if the building was on fire, but again pushed aside that thought for later. There was nothing Catherine could do about it anyway even if she wanted to.


	4. Chapter 4

Still not mine I'm just having some fun.

**NOW BETA READ** It is now easier to read thanks to cathandsaraforever55

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**Chapter 4**

Spending time with Cam was always great. They always had the best time together whether it was to just mess around and make jokes with the guys, or if they were working in the garage on some project, or even when they went out drinking.

Sara still remembered when they met; shortly after she had arrived in Vegas she really hadn't had any time to find new friends. One night after a bad case Sara had really needed to get out of the lab after working far too long without any sleep. Since she had only been on the team for a short time she didn't feel comfortable with the guys and Catherine had made it clear from the beginning that she didn't want to have the brunette there.

So she had ended up going to a bar off the Strip close to her apartment all alone; it was not like she had any choice. She wasn't good at meeting new people, or flirting, for that matter and she couldn't phantom dating somebody new after Sam.

All this didn't really matter when Cam came up to her and introduced herself. She was everything that Sara wasn't, confident, outspoken and a people's person.

Cam didn't leave when Sara mostly ignored her and after a couple of beers Sara opened up and they started talking, which lead to dancing and they had ended the night at Sara's.

They had tried dating for a while but it didn't take them long before they both realized that they worked a lot better as friends than they ever could as lovers.

Sara ended up spending most of her small amount of free time during the days at Cam's garage where she got to take up her hobby again doing mechanics.

Cam let Sara start her own projects, restoring old cars, and it wasn't until she had met Cam that the CSI had realized how much she had missed doing just that. They got along really well, and Sara eventually opened up a little over time. Not that she had told Cam everything about her past, but she knew the highlights and she hadn't run, which was the most important quality that Sara looked for in the people she wanted in her life no matter at what capacity.

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By Saturday morning Lindsey was over the moon happy, and bursting with energy. There was no way she would sleep late and there was no way that Catherine could get her to stop jumping around or talking a mile a minute. So when they actually arrived at the garage Catherine was thankful that she was only dropping Lindsey off, and wasn't staying, because she couldn't take much more of this. Not to mention she really needed to get some sleep. She didn't have the weekend off like Sara, and she was just going to enjoy the time alone that this opportunity gave her and crash.

Before Catherine even had the chance to turn her car off, Lindsey had taken her seatbelt off and was on the way out of the car. Linds just could not sit still today and Sara was bound to have trouble keeping up with her after the long week they had, had at work.

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Sara had shown up at Cam's right after work. That way she had some time before Catherine and Lindsey arrived so that she and Cam could girl talk, which was exactly what Sara needed after the week she had. They were looking at some of the old cars out back and talking about which one that would be best for the project, and if it was possible for Cam to sell it if that was necessary, when they heard a car pull in at the front of the garage. Cam headed to the front in case it was a new customer that didn't know her policy, just come in and holler if you don't see anybody, and there really was no reason to make a bad impression on Sara's friends.

Sara joined her because she wasn't sure how Catherine would react when she saw Cam, and was afraid she would turn around the moment she saw her. Cam was definitely not an ordinarily looking woman and Sara wasn't all that sure that Catherine wouldn't object to leaving her daughter there.

As soon as the car stopped Lindsey was out the door, desperately looking for Sara when they both saw Cam for the first time. Lindsey was gawking, and it wasn't much better for the older Willows. As it didn't look like either of them were anywhere near close to finding their voices again Sara thought she might as well introduce her friend.

"Hey guys, this is Cameron. Cam this is Catherine Willows and her daughter Lindsey."

When Lindsey heard her name it brought her back to the present, and she jumped into Sara's arms. After hugging Sara, she shyly turned toward a smiling Cam and held out her hand, just as her mom had taught her.

"Hi, it's nice to meet you." Cam shook Lindsey's hand and smiled brightly to her.

"My pleasure, Sar talked heaps about you. I'm glad you wanted to join us today. You see Sar here was driving me crazy, and if I didn't get her started on a different project than mine, I would have gone mad within the day. She was ruining all the fun of playing with my bike."

At this point Catherine had gotten herself together and joined the other women.

"Hello, I'm Catherine, and it's very nice of you to offer having Lindsey come here today. I hope it won't be too much of an inconvenience."

Sara's eyes lit up at this, because it didn't sound like Catherine would turn around and leave. Cam caught Sara's eyes and chuckled before replying, "Lindsey won't be any trouble. Sar on the other hand is a whole different story. I have a couple of appointments set up for today, and there will probably be some walk-ins like usual, but Sara knows her way around so I don't expect any trouble."

Before Catherine could get into interrogating mode Sara broke it up. She wasn't really comfortable with Cam telling Catherine all the embarrassing stories she knew, but she just knew that the stories would be worse if she was hovering around Cam.

"Let's go inside, Catherine you can get a cup of coffee to tie you over till you can get some sleep. I'll even let you interrogate me, while Sar shows Lindsey around and find which car they want to restore."

Lindsey was jumping up and down and pulling on Sara's hand before Cam had finished, and was dragging her friend into the building.

"We'll be out back" Sara threw over her shoulder before they were out of sight.

"Come on this way. If you're anything like Sar with coffee, you'll be in desperate need by now having to entertain a kid that excited to see Sar." Cam said laughing softly, while she led Catherine into the office part of the garage.

Catherine looked slightly confused, but followed while her thoughts were running as fast as her daughter's flow of words.

_How does Sara know a woman like this, with all the tattoos and piercings? Sara looks like a choir girl compared to her. She doesn't have any tattoos that I can see or any piercings, even in her worst of moods she looks like a choir girl compared to that woman._

Cam definitely looked different than Sara with tattoos covering most of what was visible. Sara knew that Cam's clothes covered most of the not so kid friendly ones. Cam also had several piercings that were visible to Catherine. Cam had even been so kind to leave her studded collar at home, which was quite unusual, especially if she got the chance to make an impression no matter what kind. However she knew that it was important to Sara that Catherine wasn't scared off.

As Catherine entered the room a cup was thrust into her hand pulling her out of her thoughts.

"Let's have it. If your skills are anything like Sar said, I will be spilling my life story in about two minutes."

Cam was smiling and Catherine just looked at her, and shook her head to clear the fog that had taken over her normally clear mind.

"Do you have some sweetener and cream? Also why would you know about my interrogating skills?"

Cam just laughed at this and showed Catherine the sweetener and cream.

"Sar is my friend and she said you wanted to talk to me before leaving your daughter at my garage, even though she wasn't planning on leaving her alone with me, very smart considering what you see at work. I've heard stories about you Catherine."

"I hope it's not all bad. I wasn't planning on interrogating you just get a feel for who you are, and I'm not quite up to questions after the shift I've just had."

"That bad huh? That explains Sar's expression when she came here right after work. What I've heard wasn't all bad actually, most of it was good, and even on day's you pissed her off. Yet that is probably only, because I know her so well."

At this point they had both sat down across from each other at the table, and as Cam finished, Catherine was left with her jaw hanging open.

_Sara talks about me, and it is good even when she is pissed at me, WHY would she do that? I was so sure she hated me?_

Cam gazed expectedly at Catherine when she had fixed her coffee and seated herself at the table.

"Okay, what do you want to know?"

Cam was smiling and she was truly expecting to be interrogated by the blonde mostly because of what Sara had told her, but also because of the way Catherine had stared when she first saw Cam.

"I wasn't planning on interrogating you Cameron, but if that's what you want I can ask some questions."

At this Cam interrupted, "Please, it's Cam, my mom is the only one that can get away with calling me Cameron. Sar does it sometimes but she's special so I can let it slide."

Catherine looked as if she wanted to know more when she heard this comment, but continued with her questions without challenging the other woman. There really was no need to make Cam mad when she was volunteering her time and garage to Lindsey.

"Okay, Cam it is then. How do you know Sara? And why are you willing to let her and my daughter use your garage? Sara said something about Lindsey not having to pay for materials if they restored a car for you."

Cam held her hand up to stall more questions before she could start to answer the previous ones.

"Hey, if you want some of those questions answered you have to let me get a word in now and again, or I won't be able to remember what you asked me."

Catherine looked sheepishly at the brunette, because this was something she regularly told her daughter and it was normally not something she herself was prone to doing. But she was feeling weird in this woman's company it was more of something she couldn't put into words. It was never something she experienced with some of the criminals she had encountered in her career.

"Sar is a great friend of mine, but I won't tell you a whole lot about that, because I know she isn't all that comfortable with her past being exposed. I also know for a fact she has the power to make me disappear from the face of the earth if she wants to."

Catherine smiled briefly at this while Cam was sporting a big goofy grin.

"I know this because she told me in great detail. As to letting them use my shop. That's no problem. I have had a deal with Sar almost as long as I have known her."

Before Cam could continue Catherine horrified interrupted the brunette. "What kind of a deal?"

_This Catherine sure is a force to recon with, and Sara was right, she jumps to conclusion without getting the details first. But I hadn't expected that Sara was right when Sara talked about how poorly Catherine thinks of her. I just thought that was Sar's insecurities surfacing._

Cam raised her voice, but only slightly, not high enough to attract Sara's attention; just enough to be certain that the older woman got her meaning.

"If you even think that Sara would do something like what you are currently suggesting why on earth did you agree to bring your daughter here? I have better things to do than defend someone like Sara to a person like you. Her actions should speak for themselves, but if you _are_ too blind to actually see what is right in front of you everyday I will make it clear for you. I do not see any reason for you to insult such a great human being such as Sara, and you may just as well leave. But since this day is so important to Sar I'll tell you what kind of deal we made."

Catherine was shocked by Cam's reaction and tone. The guilt written clearly on the blonde's face was nothing close to what she was feeling inside; however Cam continued on as if she hadn't noticed.

"Sara helps me on my private projects, and she is helping my guys with getting their high school diplomas. Some of them had rotten childhoods, and are now trying to be a good example to their kids. Whenever we are busy she is always willing to lend a hand, or put us in contact with some of the people she knows from Harvard or San Francisco. So you don't get to accuse my girl of covering for us or breaking the law."

By now the blonde was looking like she wanted to disappear, but Catherine knew that wasn't an option. There was no other way around it than to apologize. The thing is that that was not something that came easily to Catherine; however she could admit it when she was wrong.

"I'm truly sorry, I don't know why I asked like that, and I don't have any excuse, but to say that it has been a hell of a week and I have hardly slept. I know that is no excuse."

"Apology accepted, but don't let me catch you talking about Sar like that ever again, because I may not be that scary, but some of the guy's that adore her are."

Catherine didn't really know if Cam was joking or not but there was no reason to test the threat, because frankly Cam looked frightening enough when she was pissed and she didn't even have to yell to get her point across. There was also no need to jeopardize the chance that Lindsey wouldn't be welcomed back because of something Catherine had said.

Cam continued again as if nothing out of the ordinarily had happened.

"That is also why parts and equipment is free when Lindsey is working on something with Sara. The guys all love that girl not only has she gladly helped them, but she is also helping their kids so that they will have a chance to go to college. They all realize that Sara has a very limited time of her own because of her chosen profession, but also because of her boss calling her in for no good reason whenever she has a day off. What is up with that guy? Does he really get a kick out of controlling her like that? So the shop cuts the cost, not that this hasn't been the topic of many a heated argument between the two of us, but I would say that Sar has finally come to terms with it."

By the time Cam was done saying this she looked extremely smug, but smiling big none the less. Catherine couldn't help the smile that crept onto her own face.

"So do you think that Sara has something going on with Grissom? Why else would she put up with him calling her in like that? It's the first time I've heard about him calling her in on her days off, but it would explain why she's always there and her amount of overtime. Maybe I should set him straight on calling people in on their days off."

Catherine was looking expectedly at Cam, because she was the first person she ever heard talk that fiercely and protectively about Sara and Catherine liked that, but was hoping that she would get more insight into the elusive Sara.

"What!! You think that Sara would boink the Bugman." Cam was laughing so hard that it was difficult to hear what she was saying. "Oh, I heard about the rumors that are going around about Sar but there is no way in hell that she would be in a relationship with the Bugman, believe me."

Catherine appeared ashamed as Cam mentioned the rumors, not because she had started them, because she hadn't, but because she had regularly added to them for no apparent reason. Still she couldn't help but join in on Cam's laughter.

"There is no way that my girl would date someone as detached as the Bugman."

"Why do you keep calling him the Bugman? And how can you be so certain that she isn't dating him?"

Catherine was seeing this as the golden opportunity to get to know as much as possible about Sara.

"Bugman because bugs are the only thing he cares about so that is just obvious, and you of all people should have guessed that Catherine, and I know because Sar is my friend."

The last part of why Sara wasn't with Grissom, Catherine could tell that Cam was holding something back, but she couldn't quite get a read on what that something was. It must be because she knows who Sara is dating.

"Since you seem to know so much about Sara, and you are so sure that she isn't dating Grissom. maybe she is dating you." Catherine stated. Catherine had said this mostly for fun but she hadn't expected Cam's reaction.

"I wish, nah, Sar and I work really great as friends no reason to ruin that." _And there was no way that she would let Catherine know that they had dated when they first met. She was not about to out Sara to her colleague._

As Catherine was about to continue down this road, because she was sure that there was more to it than Cam was saying, Lindsey and Sara came through the door laughing.

"So Cam how many embarrassing stories have you managed to tell Catherine in the time we have been gone."

As she looked around she saw the apologizing look on Cam's face and the curiosity on the blonde's. "What did you tell her and do I have to kill you Camie?"

"Oh, its Camie now is it. That means I'm in for it. You are my witness Catherine; if I go missing you will know that Sara did me in." Cam was laughing so hard that she was barely able to get the words out.

At this Catherine's eyes almost popped out of her head, which only made both Cam and Sara laugh like Catherine had never heard before.

_That makes a world of difference when she laughs like that. I would like to see Sara this unguarded more often._

Catherine couldn't help but join in the fun at this point. As long as it kept Sara open she was all for it. "No worries, and we where only talking about your sordid affair with the Bugman."

This caused another set of laughing fits from the two brunettes, but the small Willows was looking really confused.

"What does mom mean by that Sara? Are you dating Uncle Gil?" Sara looked shocked by this but couldn't stop laughing for the life of her.

"No Shortstuff, your mom is only kidding, because Cam knows that I would never data Grissom. No need to worry about that."

Lindsey looked accusingly at her mom before saying, "Why would you make fun of that? Uncle Gil is too strange with all his pet spiders. I wouldn't want Sara to data someone that weird."

Sara and Cam were laughing their arses off while the littlest Willows was telling her mom that her joke was not funny at all.

"Sorry sweetie, I didn't mean to offend Sara or to make you mad. What did you do while I was in here hearing stories about Sara?"

Lindsey brightened at the mention of her friend, and jumped into telling her mom all about the garage and what Sara had shown her and about what they were planning to do.

The two of them had agreed that instead of starting on a whole car, which was looking very intimidating to Lindsey, that they would work on an engine that Cam already had a buyer for. Then when Lindsey was surer of her abilities they could tackle a car. They had also agreed that when Lindsey was older they could work on a car for when Lindsey got her drivers license.

After telling her mom the highlights Lindsey practically threw her mom out of the garage, which by the looks of it was very appropriate if Catherine was to get home before she fell asleep.

"Hey Catherine do you want me to get one of the guys to drive you home so you don't get in an accident? It wouldn't be a problem."

"Nah, that's not necessary, I'm used to being tired. When do I have to be back, to pick up Lindsey?" As she said this she turned to look at Sara.

"I can feed her and bring her home after dinner so you will be able to catch up on the sleep that you missed this week, if it is okay with you of course."

"You really don't have to do that Sara, but by the look of it Lindsey would love that, so I'll see the both of you when you drop her of after dinner. Bye sweetie, have a great day and behave your self. Remember Sara is in charge so do as she says." Catherine gave her daughter a hug before leaving the garage.


	5. Chapter 5

They are still not mine, but I own Cam.

Much to my joy I've found a beta and the story have improved if nothing else because it is easier to read. So thanks to cathandsaraforever55 for trying to make sence of my writing. I'm reposting the previous chapters now that they have been beta read.

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**Chapter 5**

After Catherine had left Sara, Lindsey, and Cam sat talking for some time trying to plan their day, but it soon became apparent that Lindsey didn't have the patience for sitting and talking when there were so many things she wanted to do. Cam left the office to find Zeke so that he could help set up the engine that Sara and Lindsey had decided to work on; while Sara got Lindsey changed into a jumpsuit just like the one that Sara was wearing.

"Working with cars or just engines is messy work, and we don't want to think about where we put our hands or what we may touch." Sara grinned at the girl "This way your mom won't give you a hard time about getting your clothes dirty either."

Now Sara laughed out loud at Lindsey who was trying to get her hands and feet out of the jumpsuit so she could move. The brunette ended up having to roll up the legs and arms to make it fit her.

Working with Lindsey and teaching her about the engine they were working on was great, and Sara was having fun. The brunette was finally relaxing like she hadn't done since the last time she spend a day with Emily. They had no deadline when it came to finishing their project. It didn't matter that much to Cam when the engine was finished, because it wouldn't cause her any problems selling it. This meant there was no pressure on Lindsey and Sara so the brunette could let Lindsey do the work with some help, or they could just talk.

Lindsey had quickly found that the CSI actually let her do the work, and if she couldn't figure it out after Sara's explanations the brunette would show Lindsey and let her do it herself again. The best part was that it didn't seem to bother Sara when Lindsey asked a ton of questions even if they were not related to the work on the engine.

Cam came by when it was about lunch time to let them know that she was running out to get sandwiches, because it was her turn that day, and wanted to know what they wanted.

As Cam mentioned lunch Lindsey's stomach growled, which made Sara and Cam laugh while Lindsey looked slightly embarrassed.

"I guess that means you agree about it being time for some food. I'll have my usual and what would you like Linds?"

Lindsey looked up from the floor thankful that they had stopped laughing at the growling her stomach continued to do. "Can I have a chicken sandwich please, and a root beer?"

Lindsey was trying hard to look as cute as possible with big bright eyes to make sure that Sara let her get her favorite sandwich and soda.

The big eyes that the girl was sporting resulted in Sara laughing and Cam smiling as she turned to head out.

"I guess that means the girl with the blue eyes gets chicken and root beer, and I think the sandwich girl remembers your usual Sar."

Cam was laughing full out as she said the last part, and was heading out the door as Sara threw an oil rag after her retreating form.

Lindsey looked questioningly at the brunette when she had stopped laughing, and raised her eyebrow, which made Sara chuckle again because the little girl looked remarkably like her mother.

"No big deal, we just always get our lunch from there."

Sara tried to sound convincing because she didn't want the girl to know the real reason for why, the sandwich girl, as they had dubbed her, knew her favorite. Especially when she was never quite able to remember what Cam liked.

Lindsey just looked at her like she knew the CSI wasn't telling her the whole story because there was no way that Sara would right out lie to her. Lindsey also knew that there was probably no way she would get the whole explanation when Sara had tried not to tell her more than necessary.

Sara really hoped that Lindsey would drop the topic and hoped that she hadn't inherited her mom's interrogating skills and stubbornness, because the brunette really didn't want to explain to the blonde whirlwind that the sandwich girl had been shamelessly flirting and coming on to her every time she came by. It had become so bad that Sara had started to avoid the shop and send one of the others when possible. Cam usual reaction to Sara's embarrassment was to laugh at her, but she had finally come to see the anguish the sandwich girl's actions were causing Sara, and had made arrangement to make sure that Sara didn't have to face this woman.

As Lindsey saw the uncomfortable expression on Sara's face and her stiffened body Lindsey decided to let it slide even though she knew there was a lot more to the explanation than what the brunette had told her. Lindsey would never want to make Sara talk about something that was obviously painful and uncomfortable to the brunette.

When Cam arrived back with their lunch Sara and Lindsey joined Zeke and Cam in the office to enjoy their break. Zeke was the only one working that day.

Zeke did most of the talking, because Lindsey had become slightly shy at meeting him and didn't ask all her usual questions. He was telling jokes as entertainment, but was interrupted several times by Sara due to the less than suitable materials, for an 11 year old, that were the main part of his repertoire. Besides that the CSI really didn't want Catherine to yell at her when she found out where Lindsey had heard them.

By the end of lunch Zeke had gotten the hint about the jokes when he brought up something completely different.

"Look Sar, do you have time to help the kiddies with their homework today? They have a test next week and they wanted me to ask you if you would look their calculations over and maybe help them with some of your tricks?"

Sara's eyes brightened and Lindsey just looked on with big eyes and a confused expression.

"Sure Zeke, I always love to see those kids of yours. Oh and how did you do on your GED test? Have you gotten the results back yet?"

"Not yet but I have a great feeling so cross your fingers."

"That won't be necessary, I'm sure you did great. So when are they coming by?"

"The Mrs. is bringing them by when she is done with her errands, and I really couldn't have done it without you."

Sara blushed furiously at this praise and smiled shyly. Lindsey couldn't keep quiet anymore, she just had to know.

"You help some kids with their homework? Does that mean that you can help me too?"

"Yeah, mostly with math and science, but on rare occasions I have helped with English as well."

Sara was slightly embarrassed by all this attention for something she had done, but before Lindsey could ask any more Zeke spoke up.

"Don't let her modesty fool you kid, Sar is bloody brilliant, and can help with any questions you may have."

By now the CSI was bright red and had no idea of how to react to that, but before she could make up her mind Zeke had continued, "And she loves to help, but for some reason our Sara here doesn't like to bring attention to herself so we just have to do that for her." He was grinning brightly at Sara as he said that last part.

"This means that I can get help the next time mom has no clue on how to solve my math problems!"

Lindsey laughed while Sara's jaw dropped, which made both Cam and Zeke laugh all that much more.

Lindsey and Sara spent another hour and half talking and working on the engine before Zeke's kids came to the garage with their schoolbags looking for Sara's help.

"You don't mind me helping them today even when I promised that I would spend the whole day with you?" Sara was talking so fast that the blonde could hardly keep up.

"I can always help them tomorrow…" Lindsey cut the brunette off before she could get any further.

"I don't mind, I'm just sorry that I didn't think to bring my own homework that way I wouldn't have to spend my Sunday doing homework when I could have had you helping me."

Lindsey stated before she headed for the sink to get cleaned up before going into the office leaving a stunned Sara.

They had used the rest of the day talking to Zeke's children after Sara had helped with some misunderstandings and declared them ready for their upcoming test.

Spending the day with Lindsey and taking her to dinner had been more fun than Sara had anticipated, and by the time she had dropped Lindsey off the girl was almost asleep. The brunette herself was looking forward to what she hoped would be a good nights sleep.

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Lindsey had talked her mom into letting her spend another Saturday with Sara at the garage. She had even called the brunette beforehand to make sure that Sara would let Lindsey join in when going to Cam's, and to find the next weekend Sara had off before she started pestering her mom to give her permission.

The begging from Lindsey every time Catherine saw her, or talked to her had driven Catherine insane before she had given in and agreed to talk to the younger CSI about letting her go to the garage again.

Sara had readily agreed and she absolutely glowed when she told Catherine about how smart Lindsey was, and how easily she picked up on the things Sara had shown her.

The blonde had been pleasurably surprised by the brunette's reaction to having spent a day with her daughter, and how Sara was so readily teaching the girl how to do the things by herself.

The night before the Saturday that Sara was to spend with Lindsey at the garage, they were all busy at the lab so Sara hadn't seen Catherine all night and they had yet to make an arrangement for when Catherine would drop Lindsey off at Cam's.

By the time that the end of shift rolled around Sara had just finished her case and was able to get out of the lab for the weekend when she finally saw Catherine. The older woman was only back for a small break before she had to go interrogate one of her suspects. Sara was about to leave the break room, and head for the locker when she saw the blonde coming in.

"Oh, Catherine when can you drop Lindsey of? I'm just leaving now and will be heading straight to Cam's so anytime that suits you will be fine." Sara smiled brightly at the older woman.

"Uh Sara, about that. I can't get out of here and will probably have to stay here most of the day. So we will have to change the plan for today and I will have my mom take her."

As Catherine was saying this she could see the smile on the younger woman's face falter, and disappear altogether when she mentioned that they had to change the plan and she couldn't bring Lindsey by. Before Sara spoke up in a small and faint voice Catherine had never heard the other CSI ever use.

"Maybe I can pick her up and bring her back instead of you having to drive her all the time."

Seeing how disappointed the change in plans made Sara and Catherine wanted to agree to almost any thing.

"That sounds great, that way I don't have to tell Lindsey that her Saturday plans have been changed. She has told all her friends about it, more likely bragged, and Nancy hasn't heard about any other than your plans this week." Laughing softly the blonde added, "Nancy is starting to think that you are some kind of a saint."

"I can take her out to breakfast, if you think that she would like that, and you don't mind that is?"

Sara shyly smiled at Catherine and hoped that the blonde would let her take the girl out to the brunette's favorite breakfast place. That would be the perfect beginning to the day.

"I'm more than certain that Lindsey would love that, and it's not an offer that I can decline. Are you sure that it won't be too much trouble to pick Lindsey up at her friend's and drop her off with my mom tonight?"

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The thought and anticipation of spending the day with Sara at the garage had Lindsey so excited that she had trouble sleeping. It was the only thing that she had been talking about for the past week. She had made sure that all her friends knew everything about her hero, and that she was going to be allowed to work on a car that could become her own. She even had some of the boys jealous of her, because they were not allowed to be any where near a car that was being worked on. What all her friends could agree on was that Sara was the coolest adult, and that Lindsey was unbelievable lucky to get to spend time with her.

Nancy had had her ears talked full of all things Sara, and she was starting to think that the things she had heard from Catherine might not be all of the truth, or that bad, and that Sara may have an ability to push her sister's buttons in a way that nobody else had ever achieved; not even Eddie when he was at his worst. All in all she was looking forward to meeting this person she had heard so much about.

The change of plans had happened so late that Lindsey didn't know that Sara was going to pick her up, but that didn't put a damper on her joy when she saw Sara, and it became even more pronounced when Sara told her they were going out for breakfast.

Picking Lindsey up at her friend and going out to breakfast had proven to be a great time and Sara was enjoying their time together as much as Lindsey.

Half way through the day they had managed to restore the engine, and came to the agreement that it would be more fun to start on a car, that when done could become Lindsey's. Deciding which of the many cars that was stored at Cam's was much more difficult, and it didn't become any easier when Greg joined them shortly after lunch, but all the more entertaining.

Greg was always good for a laugh. He was the one person that didn't mind entertaining Lindsey when she was stuck at the lab waiting for her mom, before she had started spending time with Sara that is.

Greg had been the only person at the lab that Sara had felt a little bit comfortable with when she had first started, not because he had shamelessly flirted with her, but because he didn't try to change her or himself for that matter even when people were giving him a hard time for his personality or appearance. He hadn't been as pushy as Nick to get her to open up, and he had been friendlier than Warrick. He had never once betrayed her trust, and even when he was getting on her nerves he had become like family, which she didn't have much of.

When Greg had found out that Sara was dating Cam he had been nothing but supportive, and let her know that her sexuality didn't change who she was. That hadn't affected Sara as much as the fact that he never once stopped his flirting, or the way he in general behaved around her. This was what proved to her that Greg could be trusted and they had been close friend ever since. Greg hadn't told anybody at the lab that he knew Sara was gay, not that she was really keeping it a secret, but she didn't feel the need to broadcast to the world at large and especially not the people that she worked with, because she had never been able to tell how they would react. This meant that he was the only one in the lab that knew of Sara's sexual orientation.

After much debating and a lot of jokes from Greg, not to mention some not so great ideas of what they could do with some of the possible cars, Lindsey and Sara came to an agreement that it would be most fun to work on the Mustang. Besides that would also, as Lindsey put it, be the coolest car ever, and that all her friends would be green with envy.

After Greg had left to get ready for some date, which had caused some joking on his behalf from Sara resulting in a blushing Greg, the youngest Willows and the brunette spent some time discussing what they wanted to do with the car and where to start.

Lindsey had complained several times that day about not being able to find a topic for the science report that she was supposed to start next week. To make everything worse she had to give an oral presentation of what she had chosen, and why this Monday. The more time that went by the more frustrated Lindsey was becoming. Sara had promised that she would help her with choosing, and they could talk about what she could say in front of her class at dinner.

Sara brought Lindsey to the same restaurant that she had taken her to the last time they had, had dinner together because all through the meal the youngest Willows had been raving on about how good vegetable could actually taste. If her mom could cook like that then she might be inclined to eat them at home, which had left Sara laughing throughout most of the meal. Sara had noticed that Lindsey was more happy and positive than she had heard Catherine tell the guys for the last couple of months. She had heard Catherine talking to Warrick about how hard it had been spending time with Lindsey, because the girl was starting to act out because of Eddie, and the blonde didn't know what to do to help her daughter.

Lindsey was happily munching on her dinner when Sara brought up the topic of the blonde's science report.

"How about you write about engines?"

Lindsey nodded, because her mouth was full, but she perked up considerately at the mention of the idea.

"You already know something about that and that way it will be more fun to learn the rest. You will be more enthusiastic when you have to talk to the rest of the class about your topic. As to why you have chosen that topic that will have to be more up to you."

Sara was watching Lindsey closely when she suggested doing the report about engines to see if it had captured her interest, because she knew that it was important if you wanted to excel at something., The brunette knew that Lindsey had the potential, she just needed the support, encouragement, understanding that Sara had, had after she had been placed with Carolyn. Not that she thought that Catherine didn't support or encourage her daughter, but it was different when it was coming from your mother.

Dropping Lindsey off at her grandmother's had been the low point of the day for both Sara and Lindsey. Especially when Lily had insulted Catherine, which made Lindsey tear up and rush to her room. Sara had wanted more than anything to defend Catherine and set the older woman straight about how her comments affected her granddaughter, but she didn't want to risk Catherine's anger when she found out. Catherine's anger might lead Sara to not being able to see Lindsey again, so the brunette held her tongue.


	6. Chapter 6

Thanks for the reviews. It means a lot to know that there are someone enjoying my story.

Thanks to cathandsaraforever55 for doing the beta thing. The remaining mistakes are all mine.  
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**Chapter 6**

By the time that Catherine came home Lindsey was sad and moody. Not at all what the CSI had expected after the girl had spent a day with Sara. It was like the joy that had been bubbling over the day before had been sucked out of Lindsey. The blonde couldn't get her daughter to tell her what was wrong. Lily, Catherine's mother on the other hand had no such problem.

"Mom, do you know what happened?" Catherine asked.

"Nothing that I know of. She went straight to her room and has been in there, ignoring me ever since."

Lily gazed at her daughter. She had never assumed that anything she said would affect the young woman. Just as she never assumed that anything she said would have and impact on her granddaughter.

"Didn't Sara bring her home last night?"

_What happened last night? And why didn't Sara call me if there was something wrong? She should know better even though she never seems to like to spend time with kids. She wouldn't be careless enough to just leave Lindsey without knowing that she was okay, would she? What the hell made Lindsey withdraw again when she had started improving? I have to get hold of Sara and make her explain._

The blonde needed to find the brunette to get things cleared up. But right now she needed to talk to her mom and then hopefully get her daughter to come out of her room.

"Honey, like I said, she went straight to her room. That Sara walked up to the door with Lindsey. Not even introducing herself. Very rude. And out of the blue Lindsey starts crying and storms off to her room."

The CSI was used to her mother's judgment of everybody Lily encountered in her life. But Catherine hadn't expected that comments about the other CSI. Especially not when Sara had been in the company of Lindsey. The blonde may be used to the judgment of her mother but the older woman had never, as far as Catherine knew, lied to her face when it concerned her daughter. That meant that she didn't feel the need to questions her mother's account of the event of last night. This left Catherine upset with the brunette's behavior and handling of last night's events.

"She was crying? You didn't tell me that."

Catherine was looking angrier as she heard that Sara had caused her daughter's tears. She was gearing up to give the brunette a piece of her mind. There was no one that could get away with hurting Lindsey if the blonde found out about it. The fact that the younger CSI had promised she wouldn't hurt the younger Willows only made matters worse.

"Oh, I was sure I mentioned it."

Catherine looked disbelieving at her mother, but didn't know what to say. Before she could make up her mind the older woman had continued as if crying was nothing out of the ordinary.

"No good will come from cuddling the girl. Crying never did anybody harm. You leave her up there and she will be just fine when she has cooled off."

Catching herself with a stupid expression, Catherine schooled her face back to its blank slate. If her mother had seen the emotions running through her eyes she would have to endure another lecture on how lousy a mother she was. Not what the blonde needed at this moment. She would one day have to do something about the negativity that her mother brought into their lives.

"Lindsey was probably upset because she didn't get her way, and that Sara girl didn't know how to deal with that sort of behavior."

The blonde couldn't believe what she had just heard, but she didn't have the energy or time to deal with her mother now. Catherine was tired after having worked two nights with no real time off in between, and she was expected back tonight. And now she had to find out why Lindsey was upset and make sure the girl would be okay. After saying goodbye to her mother the blonde headed up to her daughter's room to comfort and talk to the distraught girl.

Later that night at the Crime Lab Catherine literally ran into Sara, causing the younger woman to tumble to the floor. Scattering the brunette's folders and papers all over the hallway floor. Apparently the older woman's talk with Grissom, about calling Sara in on her days off, had not worked, because here the brunette was stalking the lab once again.

"Sorry," mumbled the brunette as she started sorting her papers into the correct folders.

Having spent the major part of the day trying to draw Lindsey out of her room had left Catherine exhausted. When the girl had finally come out, she had been in a terrible mood. The Willows' had only succeeded in spending the rest of their time together yelling at each other. Culminating when Catherine had dropped Lindsey off at Nancy's. The younger Willows had yelled at her mother to leave her the f… alone and ran into her aunt's house. Leaving a hurt Catherine to bring in her overnight bag.

The day and her daughter's goodbye had Catherine on edge. Before the blonde had even entered the lab building she knew that it was just a matter of time before she exploded at some unsuspecting colleague. Some part of her was glad that Sara had this night off. Catherine knew that if she saw the brunette she would let all her anger out on the younger woman. Sara always fought back and that was exactly what the older CSI needed.

Not knowing what had happened to cause Lindsey's crying and the comments her mother had made about the brunette thrown into the mix with being bumped into. Catherine knew that she was way beyond the point where any thing she would say or do would be rational.

Meeting the distracted and clueless brunette in the way that occurred was all that was needed to set the older woman off.

"Are you that stupid? Do you not know how to walk without crashing into people?"

Sara looked up from collecting her papers with a hurt expression. _Why did Catherine bite my head off? I know that I walked into her, but she has always been able to laugh it off when it happened with one of the guys. Apparently I was the only one that wanted this friendship to work out. It hasn't been easy but I thought that we were getting there._

Quickly schooling her expression Sara was not going to let the older woman see how the blonde's words had affected her. Standing up straight and mentally preparing herself before responding to the other CSI, Sara was gearing up for the fight she was now expecting. It was harder for the younger woman to put her walls up high enough to withstand a fight like they used to have, but Sara was not going to let another person walk all over her.

Though ready for a fight that the brunette knew was coming, she was still hoping that it could be avoided. _Maybe this is all a dream and I'll wake up._ Pinching herself to make sure that she wasn't sleeping before focusing on Catherine again.

"Sorry, didn't mean to bump into you like that. I was reading up on my notes, and I guess I got lost in thought."

"Not only don't you know how to walk. You apparently don't know how to stay away from here."

Catherine had raised her voice as she worked herself into a fury.

"What's it with this place that you can't stay away?"

The blonde was past the point of no return. No matter what the younger woman did or said, Catherine was venting all her anger and frustrations on Sara, her chosen target, like the many times before. The fact that the brunette didn't seem to be raising to the fight, like usual, made the older CSI, if possible, even more furious.

Before Catherine could continue with her line of insults the brunette cut her off.

"Grissom called me. Not that I wanted to spend my day here, but apparently I was the only one answering my phone."

The blonde was yelling while the younger woman was keeping her voice low desperately hoping that this wouldn't go like it always had. Sara knew that the chance of the older CSI backing away was close to zero. The brunette just had to hope that this fight wouldn't result in too much yelling that it would attach the focus of the rest of the lab.

"YEAH right, always with the easy excuses."

Sara looked at the blonde like she had grown a second head but didn't know how to respond and before she could get her thoughts together the older woman had continued like the brunette wasn't even there.

"Grissom only ever calls you. He just tells you you're his last resort. And you're stupid enough to buy into that every time."

The younger woman noted that while the blonde was yelling she was also glowing and her eyes sparkled like she enjoyed the fighting. That was never something the Sara had ever noticed before and it was throwing her for a loop.

Spacing out over Catherine's enjoyment of their fight, the brunette had to mentally shake herself to hear what the other CSI was shouting at her.

"… Why should I let Lindsey spend time with you, when you're that irresponsible?"

Sara caught up with the blondes rant as she heard Lindsey's name was mentioned. Getting the gist of the meaning of Catherine's words Sara was shocked. The blonde wouldn't allow her to see the youngest Willows because Catherine thought Sara was irresponsible for some reason the brunette hadn't heard. As the younger woman was about to fight back and not take everything that was dished her way, they were interrupted by a steaming Grissom coming down the hallway to where they were standing.

"Sidle, Willows. My office now!"

With that he turned around and headed for his office not giving the two women any choice but to follow.

"Gil, I'm not coming with you. You're as much a part of the problem as Sara."

If possible Catherine was looking more furious than before their boss had yelled at them like some school kids. There was no way the older woman was volunteering to be scolded like a child.

"Catherine, it wasn't a suggestion. It's either my office now or Ecklie's in the morning."

Huffing as he said that he again turned to his office fully expecting the stubborn blonde to follow him this time. If not he would be forced to actually take action against his best friend. He couldn't let it slide like all the times he done before.

The brunette looked from Catherine to Grissom and slowly turned to follow her boss. Fully expecting that she would once again be blamed for the whole fight, and that the older woman would get away without a scratch, like she always had. Sara didn't understand why the people in the lab thought that Gil had a thing for her, because he never did believe or support the brunette's side in these fights with the blonde. What the younger CSI didn't know was that, that was the exact reasoning for Grissom being harder on Sara than the rest of the CSIs. He wouldn't risk his reputation as a scientist on his feelings and therefore he shut out the brunette. Unknowingly hurting Sara in the process.

The blonde on the other hand hesitated a while before following her boss. As Catherine walked toward Gil's office she had a shocked expression on her face. By the time the older CSI entered the room she had schooled her expression and if you didn't know the blonde you would believe that Grissom yelling didn't affect her.

Entering the supervisor's office Catherine noticed that Sara was sitting in a chair and looking like she expected the blame to be put on her shoulder yet again. To tell the truth the blonde was actually expecting the same thing, based on past fights they had.

Grissom was still standing and he wasn't looking pleased.

"Sit."

Catherine jumped slightly and for some reason she didn't know hurriedly sat down.

_What the hell? Why are you reacting like child being scolded by her parents? You never give up without a fight. Get yourself the f… together, Catherine._

The blonde was getting ready to fight back when Gil continued without taking his eyes off the two women sitting across his desk.

"After the last fight you two were so kind to put on in front of the night shift..."Grissom was sounding more sarcastic and angry then either woman had ever heard before. "I told you that that was the last time I would tolerate your fighting at work. You were getting closer for the last couple of months and I though that you had settled things, but now I'm not so sure."

Looking at the two women he expected them to give him a reason for this fight. The blonde cringed at the look Gil was giving them. Sara sat there not even blinking, waiting for him to blame the fight on her.

"We were getting along until Sara here up and left my daughter crying without even telling me there was something wrong."

Catherine hadn't cooled off and was still yelling, causing Gil to yet again raise his voice.

"That's no reason to shout in the corridor. You could have asked Sara what happened and I'm sure she would have given you an answer."

The blonde glanced at Gil like he was incompetent, and then turned toward the brunette. If Grissom wanted her to prove that the other woman was as much a part of the fight Catherine would. The older woman was sure that all he would see was his precious Sara for what she really was.

"Well, you heard the man. Why did you leave Lindsey? She adores you and you broke her heart. And didn't even have the guts to tell me."

Catherine was looking smug, believing that she had turned a bad situation to her advantage. That changed when Grissom butted in again.

"That was not what I said."

"It's fine Grissom. I'm used to Catherine talking to me like that."

Sara interrupted the both of them. Finally having found her voice the brunette was ready to fight back.

"Here we go again. Playing the victim like always."

"You know what Catherine? The world doesn't revolve around you. If you wanted to know what happened last night, all you had to do was ask."

The younger woman wasn't volunteering any information. Both women had gotten up from their seats leaving a stunned Grissom as the only one sitting.

"But instead you attacked me."

"What? Like you would have told me the truth. Not only would you have lied to save your skin but you also knocked into me and weren't even sorry."

"Ladies. That's enough. I don't want to hear another word out of the two of you if you can't be polite."

Grissom had reached a point where he considered sending them both to talk to Ecklie.

"To get this over with, so I can get back to work, I'll ask Sara what happened."

Both Grissom and Catherine turned their attention to the brunette, looking at her expectantly.

"Sara."

"What Grissom? You said you would ask, so ask."

"You know what I meant. Tell us what happened, I have work to do."

The supervisor was getting more annoyed with the brunette and was considered suspending them both, which seemed would be easier at the moment, but it wouldn't solve this problem between his best CSIs.

"Yeah right. Like Catherine wants to know the truth. She already decided that I'm irresponsible. Let's leave it at that and you can get on with punishing me."

Sara was again seated, but wasn't more relaxed than when she entered the room. The brunette wasn't about to let the older woman walk all over her, with or without Grissom in the room.

Shoulders squared and jaws tensed the younger CSI was ready for whatever it was that Gil or Catherine would throw at her.

"I want the truth now and no snotty remarks from either of you."

"Yeah sure, whatever."

The brunette thought that he might as well suspend her and get it over with, because there was no way that it would end even slightly positive for her.

"Sara." Grissom scolded as he raised his eye brows.

"Fine. We had a great day, but when we got home Catherine's mother met us at the door. We were saying our goodbyes when something happened and Lindsey ran into the house."

Looking at Catherine as she continued.

"Your mother wouldn't let me follow Lindsey so I didn't have any choice, but to leave."

At this point the blonde couldn't contain herself.

"Why didn't you call me to say that Lindsey was crying?"

"I didn't know that she was crying, and I did call you. I even left a message, but you must not have seen that."

Gil was looking at the blonde expecting her to continue the conversation.

"Okay I'll give you that, but that doesn't change that you made Lindsey cry. You won't even say what caused it."

"That's not my place. If you want to know talk to your mother."

This got the older woman pissed again. "That's the worst cop out story I've ever heard from you…"

Before the blonde could get any further Gil interrupted them.

"That's enough. I don't need to hear anymore. I don't want to see the two of you in the lab tonight as it a slow night I want you both to leave the lab now. If the two of you don't find a solution to your problem within this month, I will be forced to solve it for you."

Sara didn't look surprised. In fact she didn't show any emotion at all. The blonde's eyes were wide and she couldn't believe that that Gil was yelling at her. He always let the older woman off the hook with a slightly disappointed look. Apparently now was not like the other times, though. The older woman wasn't certain that she would come out on top of this. Catherine also didn't particularly like the notion that their boss would decide their fate.

"What do you mean that you'll solve it?"

There was no way that the blonde would wait for the first of the month to find out what he meant.

As the younger CSI was getting ready to leave the room, Grissom spoke up.

"That means that I'll find an acceptable solution for the lab, and you will most likely not like it. Find your own solution ladies, and I won't be forced to split up the night shift."

With that he waved them off and went back to his paperwork, fully expecting them to leave.

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I would love to hear what you think so please review. Any suggestions that can help me improve my writing is greatly appreciated.


	7. Chapter 7

Thanks to the fabulous cathandsaraforever55 for doing the beta thing.

Thanks to those of you that took the time to review my story, they make it more fun and appealing to continue.

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**Chapter 7**

Sara went straight to her locker, having forgotten that she still had the case files tucked under her arm. Sighing, the brunette wanted to get out of the building before Catherine found her and started yelling again. The younger woman didn't really care at this point; sure as she was that she would either get fired or moved to dayshift come next month. The brunette left the folders in her locker and left the Crime Lab.

Not knowing where to go, Sara only knew she had to get out of there.

Catherine had stayed behind in Grissom's office hoping to talk privately with the man. Gil was trying to ignore the blonde, but knew that Catherine wasn't one to let discomfort get in the way of what she wanted. Though, he wasn't giving her the satisfaction of starting the conversation as the blonde wanted.

Looking at her boss sternly, Catherine gave in and decided she might as well start.

"What are you planning to do with Sara?"

He knew he had been soft on his friend in the past. Though, he had never expected the blonde to be this sure of her position in the lab. Especially after what he had said earlier. Grissom thought that he had made himself clear, but apparently not.

"I'm not sure what my actions will be, but don't be too sure that Sara will be the only one affected."

_Surely he doesn't expect me to believe that he would do more than reprimand me. That is just unbelievable._

The blonde was sure that Gil would do things as he always had before. He said that she would be affected too, but that was probably a ruse to cover his back for later.

Catherine wasn't usually this full of herself, but with everything that had occurred that day had her mind was all jumbled up. She hoped that Grissom wouldn't notice something was wrong.

"I can see that you're sure of your position in this lab."

The blonde couldn't help the smirk that flashed over her face. Catherine had to hope that Gil hadn't noticed. No such luck.

The nightshift supervisor was blaming himself for letting this spin out of control. He never should have let Catherine get away with breaking protocol on several occasions. If he had dealt with the blonde's behavior toward the younger woman, it would never have escalated to this point. Now he might be forced to move or even fire one of his best CSIs. The woman sitting on the other side of his desk had, had free range of the lab for far too long, and this was what he got for letting her sweet talk him.

"Catherine, I've let you get away with too many things in the past, but that ends now."

Something in the older man's voice had the blonde paying attention. Catherine believed that she would get no preferential treatment from her friend in this case. That was a scary thought and not something that the blonde was used to.

"I recommend that you find Sara, and the two of you talk all this out."

The blonde stared at him blankly. _Does he expect me to make this right without any help from Sara?_

"If I find out that you didn't try your hardest to fix this, I'll have no trouble getting you demoted or moved. Don't deceive yourself into thinking that you being my best friend will keep me from taking this action."

Grissom turned his attention back to his paperwork. The blonde didn't know how to react to what her friend told her. Catherine sat there waiting for something more to clear up what had happened.

Looking up again and seeing the blonde still sitting in his office. Gil said as dismissively as possible.

"Goodbye Catherine."

That for some reason was enough of a jolt to get the woman to snap out of it.

Quickly leaving the office, Catherine hoped that she could catch the brunette. What the blonde hadn't taken into account was that she had spent an extra 30 minutes with Gil after the younger woman left.

Not finding the other woman anywhere in the lab. The blonde send a text message hoping that Sara would at least give her this chance.

**Please meet me at Suzy's 9 am tomorrow.**

Lindsey would be asleep by now, giving the blonde the opportunity to talk to her sister. That way she could get an unbiased opinion on the matter without worrying about hurting any feelings. Even if she couldn't keep her temper under control. Nancy would tell the blonde when she was being an ass and what to do to start fixing it. Or at least point her in the right direction.

Showing up at her sister's after a crappy day was not something new, but it was unusual that Catherine knocked before midnight.

Without waiting for Nancy to open the door Catherine went in and headed for the kitchen. Her sister would be getting everything ready for the morning before going to bed.

"Hope you're not too tired. I screwed up and I might have run out of get out of jail free cards."

The blonde said this as soon as she saw her sister.

"Well hello to you too Cath. Nice to see you…"

The younger woman was grinning, but as she turned around to look at her older sister the smile disappeared. The expression on her sister's face was enough to stop the younger woman short.

"Oh sweetie, come here." Opening her arms and drawing her sister into a hug Nancy continued. "I'm sure it can't be all that bad. Gil has always helped you. He will have your back this time too."

Blinking to hold back the tears Catherine hoped that her sister wouldn't notice, or at least pretend not to. Nancy knew that her sister hated to feel vulnerable so the younger woman graciously let Catherine pretend and gave the CSI the time to get herself together.

In the course of the time it took Catherine to get a hold on her feelings, the anger from earlier resurfaced. Nancy had used the time to get the both of them a cup of coffee and seated at the kitchen table. Patiently waiting for the CSI to join her, so they could begin to fix whatever it was that had the older woman on edge.

When Catherine finally looked up from sipping her coffee, Nancy knew that her sister was ready to start.

The CSI told her about the conversation that took place in Grissom's office, but left out parts about her fight with Sara.

"Now tell me why Gil felt he needed to yell at you and threaten to fire you. There must have been some reason."

Catherine wasn't looking particularly proud at this point, but she had known that Nancy would pick up on the real problem. Didn't want to tell her sister what she had done to Sara. Especially after the CSI had talked about how hard it had been to begin gaining the brunette's trust in the first place. Catherine had even mentioned on more than one occasion, that she liked the time she got to spend with the younger CSI after they had stopped fighting all the time.

"You know how upset Lindsey was when we came here earlier?"

The younger woman nodded, not wanting to interrupt the CSI, at the risk of never getting to the bottom of this.

"Lindsey spent yesterday with Sara…" Nancy had heard about this planned Saturday for more than a week, so she knew.

"But apparently something went wrong when Sara came by my house, where mom was supposed to look after Linds."

"What do you mean apparently?"

"Lindsey started crying, and none of the three people present wants to tell me what happened."

Nancy gave her sister a doubtful look.

"Okay, you're right mom did say what happened. I'm just not sure anymore that, that is the real account of the event."

"You know mom has a loose sense of the truth, and that she usually twists it for her benefit."

"Yeah, but she never lied to me about Lindsey."

"You never caught her in a lie you mean. Why should you be special? You know why I don't want her in my life anymore."

Catherine was getting uncomfortable by the turn the conversation had taken. Of course she knew why Nancy had cut Lily out of the younger woman's and Jeremy's life.

It had all occurred a couple of years ago and the blonde still wasn't sure why she hadn't stood up for Nancy the way a sister should have. Nancy was always supportive, and now wasn't any different.

"I hoped that Linds would have said something, but she shut me out completely. You saw how she was tonight."

"Did it ever occur to you that the reason for Linds shutting you out is the same reason she was crying?"

Nancy didn't want to betray the younger Willows by telling her sister what had happened. But that didn't mean that the younger woman couldn't drop hints, hoping her sister wasn't too dense and caught up in her denial.

It was all getting to be too much for Catherine, and they hadn't even gotten to the part were the blonde yelled and screamed at an unsuspecting Sara.

"From your tone I know that you heard Lindsey's version, but don't want to tell me."

Nancy squirmed under the look the CSI gave her. Hoping that Cath would leave it at that. There was no way that the younger woman could resist her sister's questions if Catherine wanted to know what Nancy knew.

To avoid spilling her guts Nancy knew she had to change the subject and hopefully make the older woman forget about this.

"So what caused Gil to fly off the handle?"

"Nice change of subject sis."

Catherine grinned at her baby sister, who just shrugged. By the look in the CSI's eyes Nancy knew that they would continue the talk about Lindsey later. By now the younger woman knew that Catherine had more she needed to get out. This meant that Nancy was off the hook for a little while anyway.

Though, Catherine wasn't proud of her reaction toward Sara, it didn't mean that she wasn't still blaming the brunette.

"Sara didn't have the decency to call me when Linds got upset."

Interrupting her sister at the risk of having the wrath of Cath pointed her way.

"You mentioned that Sara said she left a message on your phone. Have you even checked this?"

Choosing to hold back the next logical part till Nancy knew that Catherine was ready to hear it. There were some benefits to knowing the CSI as the younger sister did. Nancy knew when to push and when to let the blonde come to her own conclusions. This was one of the latter.

"You know that my message service doesn't work, so there won't be any message."

The blonde had raised her voice before she remembered that there were two children sleeping in the house.

"The question is does Sara know that? And do you think that she would take advantage of it, if she did know?"

Nancy could see that these questions had hit Catherine where needed for the blonde to figure out her own feelings on the subject, and why the CSI always blew up when there were a change that Sara was involved.

Looking through her missed calls, Catherine saw that the brunette had actually called the night before, not only once but three times. Feeling embarrassed over jumping to conclusions based on her mother's say so. The CSI knew she should know better, than to believe what Lily told her.

Catherine wasn't ready to admit that she might be wrong. If she was honest, she couldn't handle more of this right now. She had to think things through before she had to face the brunette in the morning.

Nancy had already picked up on her sister's reluctance to continue, but for once the younger sister wasn't about to leave it at that. If the CSI was ever to work it out with Sara, Catherine needed to figure out what caused all these fights. This time it also affected Lindsey, which meant that Nancy wouldn't leave things alone.

"I know that you're on your way out of here and that you have a lot on your mind, but…"

Trailing off waiting for some kind of reaction from Catherine. The blonde raised an eye brow in response.

"Why do you always believe the worst of Sara? You know, you have to find out why Sara affects you this much. There is a reason why you let Sara have this control over you. That are what you need to think about Cath. If you can find these answers you'll have come most of the way to fixing this problem between the two of you."

The blonde's head snapped up as she turned to leave. The exact reaction Nancy had expected, and the younger woman knew that Catherine would be back when she had a chance to think things through.

On her way out the CSI raised her hand as a goodbye.

Catherine had so much stuff floating around in her mind, that it was a wonder she got home in one piece. The blonde had been surprised to find herself at home, because she couldn't even remember getting in her car.

Nancy had watched from the sidelines since the day that Sara came to Vegas. She found it amusing that since the day that the brunette stepped foot in the Crime Lab, the older woman had been bitching about the younger CSI for one reason or another. And to make the situation more humorous Lindsey was carrying on like Sara hung the moon.

She had watched Catherine having trouble coming to terms with the younger woman working in "her" lab. Complaining about Grissom bringing in his pet project, who was so infatuated with him that the brunette didn't have an original thought.

Nancy knew her sister, and that meant that she didn't entirely believe the picture that the older Willows painted of the other CSI. She also knew that there was something with this Sara that strongly affected her sister. Never in all the years, that Catherine had been with Eddie, had Nancy seen her sister getting this worked up over a person.

Nancy hadn't quite figured out what it was before, but now she was certain that her sister was attracted to the younger woman. The problem with this was that Catherine hadn't seen the obvious and until the blonde came to this conclusion on her own, there was nothing that Nancy could do.

During the time that the younger Flynn sister spent with both Lindsey and Catherine, Nancy had seen her sister cringe, whenever her niece mentioned the brunette. That had been when the girl hardly ever saw the younger CSI. Catherine hadn't included Sara in on the team get together if she could help it.

Nancy only knew of Sara through the complaining of her sister, and now Lindsey's worship. After that terrible night that left Lindsey without a father, Nancy had seen her sister come apart at the seams. The tirades about the brunette had become increasingly worse, as Catherine tried to convince herself and Nancy of the brunette's in competency during Eddie's case. She had often said that if any of the guys had been on the case someone would have been held accountable for his death. Nancy was sure that with the way her sister dealt with her problems, Cath's believes would have been made clear on several occasions to the brunette. It wouldn't have mattered to the blonde, what the cost of closing that case had been to Sara.

During the last months the mood of the blonde had changed in tact with the increased happiness of Lindsey. All caused by the brunette, Nancy was sure.

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Sara had received the text message from the blonde. She wasn't planning on coming. There really wasn't any good reason to pretend that Catherine would be affected by the outcome.

She had no idea why the other woman even wanted to meet with her. Maybe the blonde wanted to show Grissom that the problem was all Sara.

No there was no point to put herself in a position again where the older woman could call her stupid or whatever degrading term, that caught Catherine's fancy that day.

She would instead get herself ready to move to a new city, a new start. Again. Too bad, she had really started to feel at home in Vegas. She had even gotten friends, and thought that she had been making a difference in Lindsey's life. That had apparently not been the case, according to Catherine.

She would start getting her resume in order in the morning and contact some of her acquaintance. They would likely be able to point her in the direction of a lab in need of a CSI. Tonight though, she needed the thoughts in her head to stop for a while.

Turning the music up Sara started cleaning her apartment. Throwing things out was always a great way of releasing some of the tension. If she was going to move, this would give her a head start.

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Let me know what you think; bad, good or somewhere in between. I would like to know.

I'm off to vote now. We have to find our representatives to the European parliament and if we want equality in the royal family. I'm all for voting it's a part of democracy but did they have to make it on a Sunday!!


	8. Chapter 8

The characters of the CSI universe are not mine. The ones that you don't recogize are all mine.

Thanks for the reviews and to cathandsaraforever55 for making sense of my writing. The remaining mistakes are mine.

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**Chapter 8**

Catherine had spent most of the night thinking. The problem was that the blonde hadn't been able to find one answer to Nancy's questions. Not one. Which resulted in close to no sleep, and left the older woman exhausted and confused.

Why was it so hard figuring this out? Nancy knew something and wasn't willing to share.

The one good thing about thinking through the night was that the blonde wasn't angry anymore. Actually Catherine was more embarrassed than she could remember ever being before. This all happened because the older woman never could keep her mouth shut. They had started getting close; Sara had finally started feeling comfortable, and now without thinking Catherine had ruined everything. The question now was how did the blonde fix it, and was the younger woman even interested in mending their friendship.

Showing up early at Suzy's, Catherine was anxiously waiting for the other woman to appear. Not having received a conformation from Sara the blonde hoped that didn't mean the brunette would stay away.

Sara had spent the last hour debating with herself whether or not to meet the blonde or stay away. It had ended with the brunette sitting in her car in front of the diner trying to gather her nerve and go inside to face Catherine. The younger CSI was now 15 minutes late but had finally found the courage to talk to the other woman.

The blonde was getting more anxious as the minutes after nine grew. Sara was never late. In fact the brunette was always early. Even that time Greg told Sara a time 15 minutes later than the rest of the team. The older woman had almost convinced herself, that there was something wrong, when Sara walked up to her table.

Catherine's eyes lit up as the blonde saw the younger woman and she beamed at Sara.

"I was starting to think that you wouldn't show."

"I wasn't so sure myself."

The brunette sat down as the waitress came up to them to take their order.

They both ordered coffee and nothing else; neither of them having the stomach to eat.

_This is ridiculous;__you're the one that invited Sara. Pull yourself together Catherine, and apologize. At least explain. Heck you know what, open your mouth, or she'll leave._

_Why __is she looking at me like that? Does she even want to talk? I was right. This is all a ruse to make sure Grissom is on her side. Smart Sidle, you have once again put yourself in a position for Catherine to screw with your mind. Leave now Sidle, that way you'll at least have some dignity left._

When Sara started to stand up, the blonde finally snapped out of it.

"Please Sara…"

"Please what, Catherine?" The younger woman snapped and refused to sit down again.

"You don't think you've done enough already? You don't have to pretend; I'll give Grissom my resignation and leave. That way the lab will be yours."

With that said the brunette exited the diner, leaving a stunned blonde in her wake. The younger CSI hadn't raised her voice, which scared Catherine more than anything. It was always easier to handle people who showed their emotions.

Realizing what the younger woman had said, Catherine almost flew out the diner.

"Sara, wait…"

The blonde yelled as she ran to catch up with the other woman. The blonde was slightly out of breath, but that didn't stop the older CSI.

"I know this isn't the best place, but I thought…"

Interrupting the older woman again, Sara didn't want to listen.

"You thought what? That it would be better to have an audience for our fight?"

Sara was pissed and wasn't about to let the blonde off the hook. There wasn't any reason to play nice; the brunette was moving and that was that.

"Yeah, not to bright of me. Let me have another chance. I'll explain everything and I'll even let you yell at me."

The edges of the blonde's lips curled slightly, while the older woman tried to look as cute as Lindsey. Hoping that the brunette couldn't say no to that.

It must have worked because the younger woman shrugged and got in her car saying, "Fine, we can talk at your house."

Sara wasn't ready to let the blonde into her apartment, and this way the brunette could up and leave if she felt like it.

Driving away the brunette fully expected the older woman to follow. Sara arrived at the house 5 minutes before Catherine. Using the extra time to work up her courage yet again.

_Why am I so scared to face Catherine? We have been working together for more than 3 years__, and I've never been afraid to stand up to her. Why now? Stop lying to yourself Sidle; you know why, you just don't want to admit it._

Still lost in her thoughts the brunette was startled when Catherine knocked on the window.

"Sorry, didn't mean to scare you."

Sitting on the couch Sara was fidgeting while the blonde went into the kitchen.

"Can I get you something to drink? I have coffee, water and uhm…"

Looking into to fridge she finished with, "Juice. Lindsey left a little orange juice if you would like that."

"Water will be fine."

They were both uncomfortable. Sara was not about to start, and had no plans of making this easier for the blonde.

"I'm sorry about how I reacted."

This would be simpler if the blonde knew why she had reacted the way she did. But there was no time to dwell on that now.

"Why are we doing this? We both know that whatever Grissom decides to do won't affect you."

Catherine finally saw that the brunette fully expected to be fired, because of a fight that the blonde had started and carried on alone. For the first time it dawned on the older woman that Grissom had been right, she did have it easy, and Sara was always the one that had to pay for Catherine's actions. Now that the older CSI could see how her behavior had affected the brunette's work life she was beyond ashamed.

However, she was still not sure how she felt, the older woman was certain, that she didn't want Sara to leave Vegas, or to loose their friendship.

They had a lot of things to talk about through, if they were to get back on the path toward friendship. The problem was that the older CSI didn't know where to start.

Where do you start, when you wrecked everything, and you don't know why?

_Sara's going to__ leave again if you don't get it together Catherine._

"I know this is my fault. I don't want you to leave."

The brunette didn't have a very nice response, so thought it best to keep quite. A lesson learned the hard way. Though, when the younger woman was taught this particular lesson it was ´don't say a word or move a muscle´. The times the younger woman hadn't been able to follow this, the consequences had been severe and delivered swiftly.

"Please hear me out before you rightfully yell at me, or storm out the door."

Catherine waited for some kind of sign from the brunette, as to whether the younger woman would let her talk or not. Not getting any outward sign, the blonde continued and hoped for the best.

Catherine started by telling Sara about the day she had had yesterday. Her mother's version of what had occurred, and that Lindsey had refused to say any thing. She mentioned that Nancy apparently knew Lindsey's version of the story and was refusing to tell it to Catherine. Catherine even told the brunette about her mother and the history the two sisters' had with Lily. The story of why Nancy didn't want their mom in Jeremy's life.

The blonde had decided to tell Sara everything even if she would have preferred to keep the more embarrassing parts to herself. If the older woman was ever going to establish a friendship with Sara, she knew she had to be honest; not only with the brunette, but with herself.

The whole time Catherine talked the brunette didn't say a word. Sara just listened with an unreadable face, and the older woman was finding it frustrating. The only time that the blonde had gotten any form a reaction from the younger CSI was when Lindsey was mentioned.

_At least she hasn't up and left, that must be a good sign. It would be so mu__ch easier if she allowed her emotions to show in her eyes._

What Catherine didn't know was that if you knew the brunette even a little, she was as easy to read as an open book.

"Would you say something?"

"What is it you want me to say?"

Sara voice was slightly hoarse after having been quite for so long.

"That you'll give me another chance. I know that what I said isn't an excuse, but it's an explanation. Hopefully that way you'll understand why I reacted as I did."

_Even when I don't._

Catherine crossed her fingers and looked pleadingly at the brunette. Sara's face was still unreadable but the older woman thought that she saw a glimmer of light in the brunette's eyes that hadn't been there before.

"I'm not sure what it is that you want from me…" Sara held up her hand to stall the blonde before she could interrupt like Catherine appeared to want to do. The brunette needed to gather her thoughts at the same time as she tried to express them to the other woman."In the time that I worked here you've been trying to get me fired or to resign…"

Catherine tried her hardest to keep quiet, not quite succeeding as a squeak escaped her as she slapped a hand over her mouth.

The blonde's antics made Sara laugh and the light came back into the brunette's eyes. This time the older woman couldn't stop herself from saying what popped into her mind.

"You look beautiful when you laugh, you should do that more."

That caught the brunette off guard. She hadn't been told that she was beautiful in a long time, and it had been even longer since she had believed it.

"I don't have that much to laugh at."

The younger CSI was still smiling, though the sad look had sneaked back into her eyes.

"I'll like to change that, if you'll let me, that is."

Catherine beamed at the younger woman, hoping that this was a good sign. At the older CSI's comment Sara's face once again became serious. The brunette was afraid to trust the other woman. What if something like this happened again when Sara had let Catherine in? Would the older woman use her new insight of the brunette to hurt the younger woman?

"You know that if we do this, it won't be easy. You can't fly of the handle when you have a bad day."

The brunette looked imploringly at the older woman. Catherine could for the first time, since she had raised her voice the other day, see the feelings in the younger CSI's eyes as clear as day. There was no mistaking it. This was the last chance the blonde would get.

_Are you crazy Sidle? You know that you won't survive it if Catherine hurts you__ again if you let her in. You know her track record, she speaks before she thinks. She may be sorry now, but what will happen the next time she has had a bad day, or when Lindsey has had a bad day?_

"I know Sara, and I can't promise that we'll never fight again, because both of us seem to enjoy our difference of opinion, and my temper is volatile at best. I liked the time we spend together, and Lindsey loves her time with you."

The blonde had said this so quickly that she was slightly winded, but she didn't want to risk Sara cutting her off.

"You know you sound like Lindsey when you talk like that."

The brunette stated as she smirked at the fast talking Catherine.

"I wasn't expecting miracles, but if we disagree we have to keep the personal comments to ourselves. If this is okay with you I would like to try this friend thing."

When Sara said that they could try again, the blonde felt ecstatic and would have agreed to anything. The smile on the older woman's face was big and bright when she eagerly nodded yes to the brunette's proposition.

The two women talked for several hours before Sara left to get ready for work and Catherine to spend a couple of hours with her daughter. They hadn't solved all their problems, but they had both agreed to give their friendship a second chance.

The brunette was nervous of opening herself up for more hurt, but she was willing to give the other woman the benefit of the doubt; if for no other reason because she loved spending time with Lindsey.

_Who are you trying to fool Sidle, you love spending time with Catherine__ too; not just Lindsey._

However, that didn't mean that the brunette would let the older CSI in without thought. That would be setting herself up for disaster, and the last thing the younger woman needed was a broken heart.

The blonde hoped that she would be able to gain the younger woman's trust. She thought that it would, if not solve everything, be a huge step in the right direction.

Never once did it occur to Catherine that she wasn't any better at showing the brunette trust than she accused Sara off. Not that the blonde closed off like the younger woman did, but whenever there was the slightest reason, Catherine always came to the conclusion that the brunette was somehow to blame or had been in the wrong. The blonde might be more outgoing than Sara, but that didn't mean that the older woman let people in. Catherine had always been good at keeping people at arms length without them knowing.

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Let me know what you think.

The next chapter is going to take more time to get it out because I'm back at work after my vacation and can't devote as much time to writing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9**

Spending time with Lindsey was just what Catherine needed after a day like that. Trying to work out the differences between her and Sara turned out to be more difficult and emotionally draining than the blonde had expected.

She hoped that she would be able to keep her temper in check around the brunette. The blonde would have to find another way of relieving her stress if their friendship was going to work this time.

Catherine had enjoyed spending the morning with the other woman. When they didn't fight and were relaxed they got along very nicely. The brunette had surprised Catherine with her sometimes dry humor. Catherine hadn't expected Sara to be so much fun to be around.

_I guess it does make a difference__; listening to Sara instead of seeing what I want to see._

The blonde was looking forward to having dinner with her sister and daughter. It was always more pleasant than when it was only her and Lindsey.

After Eddie was killed the Willows women's relationships had started to go downhill. The first couple of months Catherine had been walking on egg shells around Lindsey, like the rest of her family, and even the kids and parents from Lindsey's school.

Lindsey was struggling with her emotions and the people in her life didn't know how to relate, which made it worse. Catherine had soon found that she was the easy target for the youngest Willows to relieve all those troubling feelings on. The worst part was that the blonde believed that she deserved everything her daughter threw her way.

The sweet girl from before the accident had disappeared that night in the car. Catherine didn't how to help the confused and angry girl. Lindsey didn't know how to let people help her, or even how to explain what was wrong. That was until she had found Sara that night in the lab.

All of this combined had led to misplaced anger mostly aimed at her mom. They ended up shouting over minor things, and most of the time the blonde didn't know what had caused the particular fights.

It had been hard to anticipate the mood changes in Lindsey. Nancy had been subjected to attitude from the girl, but it never got to the same extreme as with her sister. Problems at school had started to rear their ugly head as the other kids' heard about Eddie on the news. The children were giving the young Willows grief about her father, and the young blonde had started reacting by lashing out.

Catherine didn't know how to help her daughter. Her sister was being extremely supportive and was helping by trying to give the stability that had been lacking in Lindsey's life. It didn't change the fact that the youngest Willows had almost died and had lost her father.

Lily on the other hand only criticized her daughter at any chance she got; mostly over how bad a mother she believed Catherine was.

In the last 6 months it had gotten so bad with her mom that Catherine had started to avoid Lily. Only having the older woman watch Lindsey when the blonde had no other choice.

After this weekend the blonde had realized that the negativity Lily subjected Lindsey to was indeed affecting the young girl more than Catherine had first believed. She now knew that she had to be the one to open up to her daughter to make it better. There would be no more holding back, Lindsey deserved to be told the truth and treated as a thinking and feeling member of their family.

The fighting and yelling was making the blonde crazy, but she had been seeing some improvement in the short time that Lindsey had spent with Sara.

Catherine had a hard time imagining how working on a car with the brooding brunette could help her daughter. Not that she hadn't enjoyed her own time with Sara; she was just not ready to admit how much. How a woman that was so hard to read and so closed off, could be so good at helping her daughter was a mystery to the older woman.

Lindsey was in a better mood than last night when Catherine dropped her off at Nancy's. The girl was now happily talking about the day spent in the presence of the brunette. Much to the blonde's surprise they had apparently started working on a car.

Catherine was even more surprised when her daughter started talking about the homework help that Sara had freely offered to Lindsey. The blonde had not expected the younger CSI to give her free time so graciously, especially when the brunette had so little. Cam had told her at the garage, but Catherine hadn't believed it at the time. Coming from her very excited daughter she had no choice but believe the words, and judging by the look on the young Willows face her Saturday had been wonderful.

Nancy had done a great job of drawing the girl out of her shell and Catherine had been grateful to get to spend a night in the presence of a happy and bubbly Lindsey.

After dinner Lindsey wanted to practice her speech for the next day one last time. The blonde was at a loss for words as her daughter had talked about why she had chosen to do her project about engines. Catherine was stunned to learn how much the two Saturday's Lindsey had spent with Sara had meant. She knew that her daughter had enjoyed the time, but not that it had in fact inspired the girl.

This day was improving by the minute, and Catherine was smiling brightly when she walked into the lab that night. The blonde was looking forward to work, but even more to starting on this new path with the brunette. Hopefully now that the older woman was this determined to make it work, she would be able to draw the other CSI out of the shell Catherine had noticed.

Sara had also enjoyed the time spent with the blonde, though the younger woman was two hours early for work. If for nothing else she had to make sure the folders were returned to their rightful place before Grissom found a new reason to yell.

The younger woman wanted to give Catherine that second change they had talked about, but that didn't stop her fear of trusting the blonde.

Trust had never come easily to the brunette and her childhood had not improved her quiet tendencies. Sara had become even more withdrawn as her parents had become worse. The wonderful Carolyn had opened the door, but the younger woman was always guarded.

Catherine had previously used every bit of information she had been able to get her hand on to provoke and belittle the brunette in front of the other CSI's. That didn't exactly instill trust or openness.

It was so much easier to open up to Lindsey. The girl didn't judge or even blame the brunette for not solving Eddie's case like Catherine. Children weren't prone to hiding behind appropriate behavior and usually said the truth as they saw it.

Sara wanted to give the blonde a second chance and she would try. Sometimes it was likely to become too much, which would result in the younger woman retreating into her shell. It was safer and easier to keep people at arms length; Sara wouldn't risk getting her heart broken.

Work that night had been a little awkward for the both of them. It was never easy putting the past behind and starting over, but they were both willing.

Grissom was planning on keeping the two women apart the next three nights. He wanted to be sure that there were no more blow ups at the lab. Ecklie was on the war path. Someone had blabbered to the lab director, ensuring that the balding man had decided to be around to catch Sara. That way the Ecklie would finally be able to fire the brunette.

Grissom knew that the lab director had, had it in for Sara from day one. He just didn't know why the other man disliked the brunette.

Ecklie had hoped that when Holly was killed it would have reflected badly on Grissom. It seemed like it had been working to the balding man's advantage until Sara arrived. The brunette had been a main character in the take down of the dirty judge. Showing Grissom and his team in a good light to the sheriff.

The lab director believed that Sara was a thorn in his side. Losing him, on several occasions, his promotions. What he didn't understand is that he himself was the cause of his lack in promotions.

Ecklie would happily spend time hanging around the lab at night, trying to find a reason to have the brunette fired. He had so far collected quite the folder for the young female CSI. Now he only needed the last damning piece before he could take it to the Under Sheriff.

The lab director wished that he had been there the night before to hear the fight that was all over the lab grape vine.

Before the night shift supervisor handed out that night's assignments he wanted to make it clear that Ecklie was sneaking around.

"I don't want any fighting," looking sternly at the two female CSI's. "That means you two. If Ecklie finds anything not up to protocol he'll take it straight to the Under Sheriff. And my hands will be tied."

Grissom looked at all the CSI's. One after the other, making sure that they all understood the severity of the lab director's snooping around.

Handing out the three assignment slips that had come in so far.

"Catherine, Nick. You're got two DB's. At first sight it looks like a hit and run."

Turning to Warrick, Grissom continued.

"Warrick you got an armed robbery gone wrong. The owner had a shotgun under the register. The robber is on the way to hospital."

Gil smiled as he looked at the brunette.

"Sara you got a suspicious circs at the Venetian."

The younger woman looked at her mentor with a blank stare. _Guess this is where it starts, but it's better than a decomp._

The brunette turned to leave; there was no reason to hang around when Grissom was clearly still on the older woman's side.

"Sara wait up. I want you to take Greg. He has expressed his interest in being a CSI. I was planning on having you train him and you could start tonight."

The younger woman had turned around as Gil called her name. She was now met by the bright smile of the exited Greg. The DNA tech was almost jumping he was so excited.

The spiky haired man was drawing the attention of the CSI's in the break room with his exuberant behavior. Both Warrick and Nick missed the sad expression in the brunette's eyes when Grissom had handed her a rookie case.

Catherine on the other hand had caught the glimpse that the younger woman was quick to hide. The blonde had also seen the brightness in Sara's eyes when Gil had told them that she would be responsible for young man's training. The blonde didn't have the time or possibility of talking to Sara. That would have to wait to later.

On the way out Catherine sent the brunette a text message hoping that their agreement of a new chance would hold up at the light of a new work day.

**Meet me 4 breakfast.**** I'll buy the coffee.**

Greg couldn't sit still on their way to the Venetian. He was bouncing around so much that it started to get on the brunette's nerves.

"Could you sit still for a minute?" Sara growled at the young man. He looked pleadingly at his friend.

"But Sara, this is so exiting. I get to process a scene."

The spiky haired lab tech was carrying on like it was the biggest thing in the world. To him that was a close description of what the lab tech was feeling at that moment. Not only did Grissom allow him to train to be a CSI. No the supervisor had appointed Sara as his teacher. The young man was ecstatic of the prospect of the brunette teaching him all the things the CSI knew.

Sara might have talked a little harsh to her friend, but inside she was beaming with pride. Grissom thought she was capable of training a new CSI. The brunette knew that the other CSI's would all pitch in to teach Greg about their specialties, but Gil had chosen her and not Catherine.

"Greg, you know that this could very well be a natural death, right?"

Sara didn't want to ruin the great mood the young man was in.

"Yeah, but it could also be something like a black widow style."

He looked at the brunette with his big puppy eyes. How was Sara supposed to react with anything other than a big grin?

A lot of these suspicious circs at the casinos were the employees covering their backs. The casino owners wouldn't blink an eye at firing an employee that opened them up for a civil suit. Therefore every time a staff member found a dead body the police were called. It was then left up to the Crime Lab to determine what had happened.

It turned out that Sara had been right. The old man had died of a heart attack while he was sleeping. It had been a relative slow night for the CSI's and Sara's help hadn't been needed for another case. The brunette and Greg had stayed in the hotel room going through how to process a real murder. Sara let the DNA tech try to find the trace evidence that in an ordinary case would be needed.

Greg had not noticed all the evidence, far from it in fact, but that was all part of the learning process. The young man got to practice dusting for prints and tape lifting them. Sara had him collect more than 200 prints from the room to make sure he would get a usable print every time. Greg had stopped counting at 200, so he wasn't sure how many he had actually collected, but a fair share had not been usable in court.

The brunette had chosen not to expose the DNA tech to an autopsy on his first night in the field. She despised what Brass and Grissom had done to Holly on the young woman's first day. Sara believed that it was best to ease a new CSI into working with dead people. Greg had therefore not been included in the processing of their dead man.

The grave shift supervisor might have a mean streak and liked to scare of the potential CSI's, but the strong headed brunette would make sure that nothing like that happened to Greg.

The spiky haired blonde knew the theory and technique behind most of the procedures. Now he had to learn to combine what he knew with reality. Sara wanted to use the night to see how well the young man handled the change in venue.

The usual carefree lab tech had been serious and focused the entire time. From the time they stepped into the casino to the time they arrived back at the lab four hours later. When they were finally back at the lab, Greg's adrenaline had crashed and he had slumped onto the couch in a state of almost asleep.

It wasn't even close to the end of shift, but Sara thought she let Greg get some rest before he had to be back at the DNA lab for the rest of the night. The brunette had some of her open cases she had to go over anyway. And of course she had breakfast plans with Catherine after shift.

These breakfast plans they had a couple of times a week were becoming an important part of the brunette's life. Sara wouldn't want to miss this opportunity to be alone with the older woman.

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Let me know what you think


	10. Chapter 10

The characters of the CSI universe are not mine. The characters that you don't recogize are all mine.  
Thanks to all of you that reads my story and especially to those that takes the time to leave me a review.

Thanks to cathandsaraforever55 for trying to make sence of my writing

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**Chapter 10**

Lindsey was using all the excuses that she could find to spend time with Sara. Whether it was at the garage working on the car, or as a sparring partner for all the things happening in the girl's life.

It wasn't always easy with the CSI's working schedule. The brunette never made a big deal of it. Sara would make sure that the young Willows knew when they had time together, and then did everything in her power not to be called back to work. The calling back to work was an especially hot topic with Lindsey. The young girl had complained to the brunette about her mother choosing work over her every time. So Sara had made sure that Grissom knew when not to call. This had given her some trouble for the first month that Lindsey and Sara had time planned together, but the supervisor was finally getting the picture. At least he had stopped calling every hour when Sara wasn't at work.

It was getting hard for Catherine to get to spend alone time with her daughter if the brunette wasn't at work. This had resulted in them trying to coordinating their time off. That way Lindsey wouldn't beg Sara to spend all her off time working on the car. The girl didn't always take into account that the brunette needed to sleep during the day.

Catherine was just happy that Lindsey still enjoyed their time together and that the girl hadn't entirely given up on her mother.

"I have this weekend off to avoid too much overtime this month."

In the months that Sara had been working on the car with Lindsey she hadn't at any time been put on lab work due to, too much overtime. Much to Grissom's surprise. The supervisor was still confused about what caused this change in his protégé. Not that Sara had any plans of clearing up this confusion for the man that in the last four years had continuously pushed the brunette away.

"I can take Lindsey to the garage and give you time to sleep. I know how thin you're stretched lately. We can do something like renting a film and I can take her for the night. That way your sister…"

Catherine knew from experience that Sara would keep talking, without giving the blonde time to answer. After the last three months, where they had been getting along great, the older woman had seen this happen several times.

Catherine was of the opinion that Lindsey was rubbing off on Sara, or she was someway making Sara nervous. Recently the brunette had started talking without pauses. This mostly happened when the conversation turned personal.

Her plan was to interrogate Greg to figure out if it only happened when the older woman was around or if it was a normal occurrence. After all, the spiky haired DNA technician was the brunette's best friend in the lab. There was no way the older CSI would get Cam to reveal anything personal about Sara. Besides the mechanic kind of scared Catherine.

"Sara! I'm working this weekend so if you don't mind, Lindsey will love to spend the night with you. This way Nancy also gets some time to herself. I only have one request."

"What? I promise that we won't go anywhere inappropriate, and I will make sure that Zeke doesn't teach her more swearwords or inappropriate jokes like last time…"

At this Sara was looking very embarrassed, and all Catherine could do was laugh.

"Sara. SARA, it's nothing like that sweetie. I know that it wasn't your fault that she told that joke in school. I just wanted to ask you to have dinner with us. Okay?"

_Did she just call me sweetie? Nah, Catherine is just being friendly because of Lindsey. There is no way that she could ever like somebody like me. _

Catherine was smiling brightly while talking to Sara, but the brunette was harder to get through to than any other person the older woman had ever met.

"It won't be a problem, and we would both love to have you join us for dinner."

This caused the classic Sara smile that Catherine loved to bring out. The blonde had only seen it a couple of times before they became friends, and that was only when the younger CSI didn't know, the blonde was in the room. The brunette had started smiling a lot more in the last couple of months. Catherine hoped that she was a part of why it happened more often.

"Okay, I can come by after I've slept and take Lindsey 'til sometime Sunday."

Nancy had somehow heard from Lindsey about Sara having dinner at the Willows house, and had invited Jeremy and herself. The younger Flynn sister wanted to meet this fantastic woman she had heard about for months.

Catherine chose not to tell the brunette about this expansion of their planned dinner. As not to scare the younger woman. The older CSI thought that the brunette might feel so uncomfortable with Nancy joining them that she wouldn't want to come.

Lately Sara had become increasingly skittish around the blonde. Catherine didn't know what had caused this sudden change. The older woman herself was feeling more and more at home in the presence of Sara.

Sara was already late, according to her plan, getting home after Friday's shift. Grissom had interrupted the brunette several times that night. It had started to feel like the supervisor didn't want Sara to have a life outside work.

This was all starting to confuse the younger woman. First Catherine had mentioned that Gil only called Sara and now the man was asking for second opinions on the simplest things.

There was something behind Grissom's change. The brunette needed to find out why, because as things were Sara was starting to burn out. It was not like everyone in the younger woman's professional life had predicted. It wouldn't be caused by getting too personally involved in cases. No, as it was Grissom would be the reason, that is if Sara didn't find a solution.

Things had finally worked themselves out with Catherine. Sara was enjoying her life, so of cause something like this had to happen. This time, however, the young woman would do anything in her power to fix the problem, so she could stay in Vegas.

The worst part was that Sara didn't know what change had been made to cause Grissom to behave more weirdly than usually. Why did he start paying attention to her? The brunette had finally accepted that he would never be the friend he had once been.

Maybe Catherine could clue her in at dinner, because if not the brunette might be forced to move again.

But right now Sara didn't have time to dwell on the topic of her boss. If the brunette was to be well rested when going to the Willows' she had to get some sleep.

According to Lindsey, and confirmed with Catherine, Sara was to show up at three. That way, as per the girl, they would have the opportunity to hang out. The brunette had even gotten instructions to bring her swimsuit, that way they could take advantage of the pool. The younger CSI though, was not planning on going swimming with either of the Willows.

At this point Sara would be lucky if she got four hours of sleep, but she had gotten by with less before. Setting her alarm for two, Sara fell asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

At the Willows house it wasn't all that quiet since Lindsey was ecstatic about having the brunette over for dinner. The girl was planning on getting her mom, when the woman woke up, to agree to let Lindsey stay the night at Sara's. That was if the brunette wouldn't mind. The youngest Willows was betting on the CSI not being able to say no. Hopefully her mom would feel the same way.

Catherine had made a deal with Nancy. Since the younger sister had invited herself she would also help getting the house somewhat presentable. That unfortunately for Nancy included Lindsey's room, which at the moment looked like a bomb had gone off.

Nancy was desperately trying to keep the noise level to a minimum while Cath slept. Not an easy feat with an exited child on the loose.

By 2 pm Lindsey was climbing the walls and the younger woman couldn't stop the girl from waking her mother. When both Willows came down stairs, Nancy saw it as her chance of getting out of there till dinner. The younger sister needed to run some errands and pick Jeremy up before coming back.

Since Catherine wasn't a great cook, Lindsey and her had decided not to venture too far out of the comfort zone. That meant that they would get lasagna, salad and garlic bread, because as the girl put it; the blonde couldn't ruin something that simple.

The blonde didn't seem to get enough sleep as it was these days and readily agreed to something simple. It wasn't easy raising a daughter on your own. At the same time the CSI was starting a friendship with Sara and the older woman wasn't quite ready to give up on dating. Therefore as Catherine saw it, there were too few hours in a day. The easiest place to find some extra time was her sleep time. Not the best option but there really weren't any others.

By the time that three o'clock came, Lindsey was on the couch looking out the blinds keeping as eye out for Sara.

When the girl saw the car pull into the driveway she was off the couch and on the way out the door in 2 seconds.

"Mom, Sara's here." Lindsey yelled as loud as she could to make sure her mother heard. The brunette barely had time to turn the car off before the blonde whirlwind opened the door. Lindsey threw her arms around Sara's neck before the CSI had the chance to get out of the car.

"Hi Shorty, I missed you too."

The brunette hugged back as she beamed at the girl. As Sara got out she kept her arms wrapped around Lindsey lifting the girl in the process.

"It's really cool that you came here."

Lindsey blurted out as the woman put her down to get the overnight bag Sara had brought for their so called pajamas party. The young Willows dragged the brunette into the house, dead set on showing her friend around.

When they entered Lindsey wasn't at all thrilled about letting Sara talk to Catherine.

"Come on Sara! You have to see my room."

"Sweetie, let Sara in the door before you attack her."

Catherine was smiling at the eagerness of her daughter. It was nice to see that light and bright grin in Lindsey again. There wasn't anything the blonde wouldn't do to keep it there, but the world doesn't always work that way.

Sara was a little skittish. It was strange to be in Catherine's house, because the brunette had only been there one time in her years in Vegas, and now the both of them wanted her there. That was a nice feeling, but enough to make the younger woman uncomfortable.

"That's fine, I can breathe another time. Come on Linds show me your room."

Sara smirked at Lindsey as she followed the girl. It was not that the brunette didn't want to talk to Catherine but it was safer to go with Lindsey. Being in the vicinity of the blonde had become a fight to keep her emotions in check, and the younger CSI knew that she was withdrawing. The problem wasn't that the brunette didn't trust Catherine as much as it was that Sara liked the blonde too much.

When Lindsey and Sara went up stairs, the blonde slumped down on the couch. Catherine hadn't gotten enough sleep and thought that she might take advantage of the situation and rest while Lindsey was talking the ears off the younger woman.

"Hey mom, can we have something to drink?"

Lindsey said coming down the stairs startling Catherine awake. The blonde looked confused until her eyes landed on Sara. _Great I fell asleep on the couch and now I must look like shit._

Getting up the older woman joined them in the kitchen.

Starting to take some soda's out of the fridge the blonde was lost in thought.

"Oh, I can make coffee, if you want some?"

Catherine hadn't been paying attention to anything around her until Lindsey's voice made it through the fog surrounding her mind.

"MOM! You didn't hear anything I said."

Sara covered her mouth to hide the laugh that wanted to escape. Only succeeding in muffling the sound slightly. This caught the older woman's focus.

Looking at the bright eyes of the brunette, Catherine once more got lost in thought, but this time it was caused by the twinkle in the hazel eyes of Sara.

The younger CSI was shocked that the blonde looked at her like that, but for the life of her she couldn't bring herself to look away.

Again Lindsey was the one to bring her mother back to reality. "Mom!"

"What? I'm sorry sweetie, I spaced out for a second there."

That had the girl grinning. "A second. I tried to get your attention for 2 minutes."

The blonde blushed, which again caused another round of laughter from the youngest Willows. Sara was quick to jump in to save the blonde.

"Come on Linds, your mom had a hard week."

Grateful Catherine turned to Lindsey.

"Okay, you got me. What was it that you wanted?"

"Can we go swimming before Jeremy and Aunt Nancy get here?"

The blonde smiled; there was no way out of this. The older woman just had to hope that Sara wouldn't leave now that the brunette knew Nancy was joining them.

"Yes…."

This caused an immediate reaction in the brunette cutting the older CSI off. "Linds I'm not going swimming."

The sternness of Sara's voice caught both of the Willows by surprise. Catherine had expected a reaction to Nancy coming over, but never once thought that swimming would be a problem.

The blonde looked at Sara and was shocked to see how fast the younger woman's expression had changed. The brunette had been laughing, and suddenly Sara looked as dark as when she arrived in Vegas.

Lindsey on the other hand looked crushed. The girl didn't understand why the younger CSI had snapped at her like that. The words hadn't bothered the young girl as much as the tone of Sara's voice. Blinking several times to hold back the tears that were threatening to flow from the girl's eyes, Lindsey turned and headed for her room.

"Okay. I'll find something else."

The young girl did not pay attention to what she said; all Lindsey knew was that she really needed to get out of there.

Before the young girl had even gotten out of the kitchen, the brunette started after her with a horrified look on her face.

_No, no, no not now Sidle. You're gonna ruin everythin__g. You don't even need any help; no you do so well on your own. You need to fix this Sidle, now!_

The brunette needed to talk to Lindsey before the older woman came to her senses and threw Sara out. After all the younger CSI had broken her promise.

Hopefully the blonde would give her the opportunity to make things right with the young girl. Lindsey might not want to talk to her again, but Sara had to explain. The youngest Willows deserved that much if not more.

Lindsey ignored the knocking on her bedroom door. That, however, didn't stop Sara. Normally the brunette wouldn't have entered a bedroom without consent from the person living there, but this was different. The CSI found the young girl lying on the bed with her head buried in a pillow.

Sara softly sat on the side of the bed, she wanted to comfort the young girl, but knew from experience what a sudden and unwelcome touch was like. So the brunette settled for sitting close by in case Lindsey wanted the touch.

"Lindsey, I'm sorry. I don't know why I talked to you like that…"

The young girl looked up at the brunette with doubt clearly written on her face.

"Yeah, you're right, that's not the truth. I know why, but that doesn't mean that I should have spoken to you like that. And for that I'm sorry."

Sara waited to see if Lindsey would say anything. When it seemed that the young girl wasn't going to talk to her anytime soon, the brunette continued.

"I understand why you wouldn't want to talk to me, and I'm sorry for ruining your day. I'll get out of here and you can have a good time with your mother. If you like I can take her shift tonight and you can spend that time together. It's okay if you don't want me around again, but I just wanted to say I'm sorry. If you ever want to know why what occurred today happened I'll be willing to tell you."

As the brunette started to get up from the bed as to leave, the young girl threw her arms around Sara's neck.

"Please don't go. I don't want you to leave me…"

Lindsey couldn't get more words out as the tears started falling and the sobs couldn't be held back any more.

The brunette was stunned. This was not the reaction she had anticipated. Slowly Sara wrapped her arms around the young girl.

"Hey it's okay, nobody is leaving you."

"But you were leaving, just like everybody else."

Tears were steaming down Lindsey's cheeks but the sobbing had stilled to almost none.

Wrapping her arms tighter around the girl, the CSI didn't know what to say or do, so she just held on tight.

"I'm not leaving you, and neither is your mom."

Lindsey didn't say anything to this. She clung to the woman like she was sinking. Sara remembered that humming and rocking had helped before and that was good enough for the brunette. The CSI got more comfortable and gently rocked Lindsey. Patiently waiting for the young girl to calm down.

It took some time, but Lindsey stopped crying and looked up at the brunette.

"Why?"

That one word said it all. Once again Sara felt like she had failed the blonde haired girl. The brunette never lied to Lindsey and she wasn't going to start now. That didn't mean that the CSI was going tell an 11 year old everything about her childhood.

"I have some bad experiences from when I was a kid." Sara didn't know how to continue, so she went quiet while she thought of how to best explain.

"You know that doesn't explain anything, right?"

Grinning to the girl the brunette responded. "I know, and I wasn't planning on stopping there. I was only trying to gather my thoughts. This is hard to talk about and I don't entirely know what to say."

The woman was starting to feel trapped and her instincts were screaming at her to get out of there. The brunette didn't want to do that to Lindsey so she pushed the feeling down, and was about to continue when the young girl spoke up again.

"You don't have to say more Sara. It's okay."

Lindsey was sounding more mature by the minute.

"I know I don't have to, but I want to tell you, so you will understand."

Again the brunette paused to collect her thoughts. "I've almost drowned more than once when I was a kid…"

"Is that why you didn't want to go in the pool?"

The young girl wanted so badly to understand her friend, and why Sara had reacted so strongly. Something Lindsey couldn't quite explain made her think that there was more to the story.

"Yes, that is a part of it, but not everything. The people I was supposed to trust didn't always do such a good job."

_Yeah, understatement of the year, Sidle. How do I tell Lindsey that I don't like to show all the scars I have? That will only lead to more questions. She is just like her mother, a dog with a bone, there is no way Lindsey would let it slide if she knew about my scars._

"Because of this I don't do well when I have to go in a pool. Not only because I'm scared of water, but also because I don't feel comfortable in a swimsuit."

The young girl reached out and hugged Sara. The brunette tried her hardest not to move away from the sweet gesture. The CSI was sure that Lindsey had felt the flinch, that Sara couldn't stop, but the girl just hugged her tighter.

They hadn't noticed that Catherine was standing outside the door. The blonde had left after she saw that her daughter would be okay. She hadn't wanted to eavesdrop on Sara's explanation. For some reason the older woman felt like she was intruding.

Yes the blonde had been furious at Sara's reaction. When the brunette had practically run after Lindsey the older woman had given the brunette a chance. Then Catherine had seen and heard the interaction between the brunette and Lindsey. The blonde couldn't be angry at the younger CSI, when Sara was so good with Lindsey.

Lindsey and Sara had stayed in the room talking until Nancy and Jeremy arrived. The brunette was glad that they had stayed in Lindsey's room avoiding the older woman. Catherine was high on the younger woman's list of things to steer clear of.

It had seemed that the young girl needed someone unbiased to talk to. Some things you just couldn't talk to your mother about. Not that Sara ever doubted that the blonde loved Lindsey more than anything. It would tear Catherine apart to hear that the girl thought everyone left her.

The brunette knew she would have to face the older woman at some point. The CSI was highly surprised that Catherine hadn't come in and asked her to leave. Maybe now that Nancy had arrived it would keep the blonde from yelling.

_Get a grip Sidle. You deserve everything that Ca__therine throws at you._

Lindsey and the brunette headed down stairs to greet Jeremy and Nancy. The young girl ran ahead and hugged her aunt. By the time that the brunette reached the other people in the house, Lindsey had starting happily chatting with Jeremy and the youngest Flynn sister. Nancy looked up as Sara came up to them and saw the younger CSI stuff her hands in her pockets.

"Hi, you must be the famous Sara…" Sticking her hand out to probably greet the younger CSI as Catherine seemed to have lost her voice. "It's nice to finally meet you. Cath has been hiding you, she never was one for sharing."

Sara was granted a full blown grin from Nancy and a blush from the older blonde. The younger CSI was so flustered that she was hardly able to stutter hi.

Nancy was having a great time mocking her sister, but had the decency to stop when she noticed how uncomfortable Sara was with the jokes. There was no reason to scare the already skittish brunette CSI.

_What did Nancy mean by Catherine doesn't share well? Catherine must have known what she meant why else would she blush__?_

Sara had suggested that they help cook dinner. That way the younger CSI hoped that it might help get on the older woman's good side. Besides it was never too early to learn how to cook. It could also be a great way for mother and daughter to spend time together.

The conversation over the dinner table had much to the older blonde's surprise flowed without the usual shyness of the brunette.

Catherine was stunned that Sara had so easily been able to talk to her sister, when the brunette was still not that comfortable in the older woman's presence.

What Catherine didn't know was that the brunette in no way felt threatened by Nancy. Sara wasn't attracted by the younger Flynn sister.

Lindsey was eager to go to the brunette's apartment. That would be a lot more fun than staying in her house. Sara on the other hand wasn't too keen on that happening, but the younger CSI didn't feel she could say no. Especially after the way she had reacted earlier.

Sara was not at ease with letting anybody into her home. That was the brunette's sanctuary and she wasn't ready to have Lindsey and consequently Catherine know about her private life.

Though, the younger CSI was willing to make an exception for the cute little girl. Who could say no to a smile like that? Sara was sure that if Lindsey stepped foot into her apartment the girl would know of Emily, and that would mean Catherine would know too.


	11. Chapter 11

The characters of the CSI universe are not mine. The characters that you don't recognize are all mine.  
Thank you so much for the kind reviews. They are all special and greatly appreciated. It's what s keep me writing.

Thanks to cathandsaraforever55 for trying to make sense of my writing, any remaining mistakes are all mine.

* * *

**Chapter 11**

The first thing that Lindsey noted when she stepped into the brunette's apartment was all of the pictures. There were either pictures or paintings on every wall in every room.  
Lindsey was even able to recognize some of the motives of the various painting that the CSI had decorated her home with. Sara had found a local artist and had purchased a custom ordered painting of the Strip by night. This was proudly displayed on a wall in the living room. The first thing you noticed when you entered the apartment.  
The blonde girl didn't notice all the details of the apartment, but she saw a young girl in several of the pictures. Lindsey wasn't sure at first if it was the same girl, because the photos ranged from baby stage to a young girl only a couple of years younger than the blonde. What surprised Lindsey the most was the brightness of Sara's smile in the pictures the CSI was in.

The brunette had continued into the office masquerading as a guest room to put the girl's bag on the bed, when Sara noticed that Lindsey hadn't followed. The CSI found the young blonde in the living room slowly turning around taking it all in.

"I'll give you a tour of the place before we decide which film we want to watch."  
"You look really happy in theses pictures. Who are the people with you?"  
Lindsey turned to look at the brunette. Knowing that Sara wouldn't lie and the blonde wanted her curiosity satisfied. Anybody that could make the CSI light up like that was a good person in Lindsey's opinion.

"That's Sam and Emily." Sara pointed to the woman and child in the photo closest to the young girl.  
"That's just their names. It doesn't say who they are." Lindsey giggled as she followed Sara into the hallway.  
"You're a smart cookie. Sam is a good friend of mine and Emily is her daughter."  
Sara knew that she was skating the truth and hadn't answered Lindsey's enquiries. The CSI wasn't quiet ready for Catherine knowing that she used to live with another woman.  
That wasn't something you let a friend find out from their daughter. The CSI had planned on sharing her preference with the older woman, but the brunette had had trouble finding the perfect time. To tell the truth Sara was scared how the blonde would react and had therefore held back. It wouldn't be the first time that Sara's sexuality had cost the brunette a friendship when they found out.  
Now Sara figured she didn't have much of a choice. There was no way the brunette would ask Lindsey to lie or keep secrets from Catherine. No, it would be better if Sara told the older woman and accepted the consequences.

The CSI showed Lindsey the guest room where the brunette had placed the girl's bag on the bed. This room was also decorated with photos, but much to the surprise of Lindsey the room was not only a guest room. It looked like it was mainly used as an office.  
There was one room the blonde didn't get to see. Sara was of the belief that the only person allowed to show anybody that room was Emily. It had been an important rule in the brunette's life since she was moved from foster home to foster home as a teenager.

Lindsey had talked the older woman into doing the slumber party thing. Meaning that the both of them were wearing their pajamas, when they went to watch the film. Sara wasn't in her usual sleep wear, consisting of boxers and a tank top. The brunette had exchanged her boxers with long pajama bottoms. The CSI didn't want the blonde to see all the scars that would be on display if she was in her boxers.

Sara made the popcorn while the young girl tried to decide on which film to see. By the time that the brunette joined Lindsey on the couch the blonde had narrowed the choice down to three movies.  
They finally decided on one of the many Disney movies in the brunette's collection. Snuggling under the blanket, the CSI kept on the back of the couch for such occasions. By the end of the movie Lindsey was fast asleep with her head placed in Sara's lap.  
The brunette slowly shifted to get out from underneath the sleeping girl. When Sara could finally get up she carefully picked up Lindsey and proceeded to carry the blonde to bed.  
Lindsey never woke up when the CSI tucked her into bed softly kissing her on the head.

Lindsey woke up in the middle of the night having to use the bathroom. Luckily Sara had been considerate enough to leave some light on in the hallway, because the young girl wasn't all that comfortable with the dark.

When the blonde was leaving the bathroom and was heading back to bed, she heard mumblings and shifting coming from the brunette's bedroom.  
A little scared, but very curious Lindsey cautiously drew closer to the closed door. Stopping to listen before going in the blonde put her ear to the door. The mumblings were louder now and it sounded more frantic.

It sounded like the brunette was trying to fight somebody off, but Lindsey couldn't hear anyone but Sara. The sounds indicated that her friend was having a nightmare. Therefore no matter how scared Lindsey was she slowly opened the door. Peering in through the half open door before daring to enter; Lindsey looked around to make sure they were the only two people in the room.

The young girl made it all the way to the side of the bed, where the brunette was tossing and turning restlessly. Lindsey could understand some of the words but had trouble trying to put it together to get any meaning other than Sara was scared.  
"Please… I'll be good… Laura… Please no…"  
Sara's mumblings, or more accurately pleadings, continued but it was getting harder to distinguish the single words. The brunette's trashing was getting worse.

Lindsey was convinced that she needed to wake the CSI to stop the dream. The only problem was that the young girl wasn't quiet sure how to go about accomplishing that.  
Inching forward while softly saying the brunette's name as not to startle the CSI.  
"Sara, you have to wake up, you're having a bad dream."

Getting closer the blonde carefully put her hand on the brunette's shoulder. When Lindsey's hand touched Sara's shoulder the CSI's struggles increased. The brunette's pleading intensified to the point where the young girl could only distinguish two of the words.

"No please… please, no… no…"

This time Lindsey put a more firm grip in her hold on the brunette's shoulder, while at the same time spoke more firmly.  
"Sara, please wake up."  
The hand on the brunette's shoulder started squishing tighter and shaking the CSI more firmly. As soon as this occurred, Sara bolted upright scrambling to get away from the hand that had shaken her.

Frantically looking around the CSI didn't see her own bedroom or Lindsey. Sara saw her childhood home and Laura. This left the brunette covering in the corner of the bed furthest from the young girl.  
When Sara had bolted, Lindsey jumped backwards in shock, scarring the brunette even more.

The blonde didn't know what to do and she stood frozen to the spot calling Sara's name. Hoping this would snap the CSI out of what ever place the brunette was stuck in.  
That didn't help and when Lindsey caught the words that Sara was mumbling, the girl started to panic.

"No, please not this time…"

"SARA. It's me, Lindsey. Please you're scaring me." The young girl was yelling at this point.  
That seemed to shake the brunette out of her stupor. Sara slowly blinked and shook her head trying to focus on the young girl shaking in the middle of the room. That sight was enough to jump start Sara.

"Lindsey. Oh sweetie, I'm so sorry I scared you."

With all the tossing and turning the brunette had done in her sleep, her top and pant legs had ridden up. Though Sara had gotten up and was standing in front of the young girl, the brunette was showing a fair amount of skin.  
The skin showing caught Lindsey's attention and the girl couldn't help the gasp that escaped her as she saw some of the scars that covered the CSI's body. Drawing Sara attention to the place the blonde's eyes were focused. This caused the CSI to quickly pull her top down and shift her legs to make sure they were covered again.  
The brunette gathered Lindsey in her arms, trying to calm the both of them.  
Sara might have been the one with the nightmare, but Lindsey was shaking with what the CSI thought might be shock.

_Again you let the past ruin everything. Do you really think that Catherine will ever let Lindsey be alone with you when she hears about what happened?_

How would Sara explain this to the young girl, let alone to Catherine? Because this wasn't something that the brunette could keep quite.  
Before the woman even contemplated trying to explain her reaction, Sara had to comfort the young girl. As it was the blonde was still shaking and holding on to the CSI as hard as Lindsey could.

They both needed sleep, especially Lindsey if the girl was to make sense of what she had seen and heard. Sara knew it wasn't likely that she would get any sleep that night. But that didn't stop the brunette from giving the young girl the clearly needed comfort.  
After everything that had happened it didn't take long before Lindsey was asleep. The young girl had soon after she fell asleep curled up to and on the brunette with her head placed solidly on the CSI's shoulder. This left Sara pinned to the mattress with no way of getting out from underneath the girl without waking her.  
The brunette found that Lindsey didn't move in her sleep, not at all like Emily. Leaving the CSI to quietly lie still, while the young girl slept.

The brunette, as expected didn't get to sleep. Needing to stay still had, however, forced the woman to work through her nervous energy, left over from the nightmare, in a different way than normal. Usually Sara used the gym in the building or cleaned the apartment top to bottom. The best method in the past had always been to get so physically tired that the CSI could forget about what her parents had done. This time though the brunette couldn't count on tiring herself until she dropped. Sara was made to watch the memories as they replayed over and over in her mind.

It had not been easy, but Sara had finally been able to block out her childhood memories. Just in time to watch the sunrise. The brunette had grabbed the book on the nightstand and when Lindsey started to stir the CSI had almost finished the book. It took the young girl longer to actually wake up than the woman had anticipated. Lindsey kept shifting but basically stayed in the same place, refusing to open her eyes.

"Morning sweetie." Sara grinned at the young girl's antics.  
Lindsey blinked a few times before she fully opened her eyes. Smiling up at the brunette the young girl snuggled close to Sara, not wanting to leave the safe place she had found. Lindsey only ever felt like this in her mother's arms. And lately they hadn't been getting along all that well. That had meant the amount of hugs had rapidly declined. It wasn't until the blonde slept in the CSI's arms that Lindsey had noticed how much she had missed those hugs. So the young girl was going to take full advantage of the comfort Sara was so freely offering.

"Do we have to get up right now?" Turning on the full Willows charm and puppy dog eyes to get the brunette to let her stay.  
This caused the CSI to laugh. "We don't have plans. So the only reason we would 'have' to get up is when we want something to eat."  
"I'm actually a little hungry, but I want to stay here."  
"We're not in a hurry, so if you're not starving I don't see any reason we can't stay here." Sara was grinning at the sleepy blonde. "Do you want to talk about what happened last night?"

Lindsey went quiet at this, and the brunette wasn't sure if that was a good sign or not. Sara tented to lean toward it being a bad sign. It always was.  
The blonde was trying to figure out what to say. The young girl knew from experience what it was like to be jolted awake from nightmares. Lindsey hated talking about them afterwards and wasn't about to ask that of the CSI. The blonde would like to know about the scars she seen, but you didn't need to be a doctor to know how uncomfortable this subject was to the brunette.  
It took some time, in which the brunette became increasingly nervous, but Lindsey finally came to the decision that if Sara wanted her to know the woman would tell.

"Nah, no need. You had a nightmare and I startled you when you woke you up."

Lindsey shrugged at the brunette's expression. Sara was confused. The brunette knew that the young girl had seen her scars. And if the blonde was anything like Catherine, not knowing would be eating her alive. So why wasn't Lindsey asking about the origin of said scars?

"Are you sure you don't want to ask?" Sara wasn't volunteering information, but if the blonde asked the CSI wouldn't lie.

"I only want to know if you want to tell me."

The puzzled expression on the brunette's face had Lindsey laughing. "Come on Sara, let's go make breakfast." The blonde got up and headed for the kitchen still chuckling.

To Sara's surprise Lindsey not once brought up the scars. The young girl had talked non-stop all day. Though, the direction of the conversation had changed several times, not only to the vegetables that the brunette exposed the girl to at lunch.

Later that month at the lab, Catherine thought she might as well put her down time to good use. The blonde was heading to the DNA lab. Hoping to find Greg alone. That way the CSI might get the spiky haired tech to talk about Sara.

"Hey Greg." Catherine smiled brightly at the young guy when she entered the DNA lab where he was bent over the table running tests.  
Greg looked up as he heard the CSI enter the room. "Sorry, but your results aren't ready yet. I do have to work on the other's cases too, you know."

"I wasn't planning on hassling you for quicker results just yet. I came in here to talk."

Greg looked at her like he was hearing things, and in no way did he believe that the blonde was there to just talk to him. There was always a reason when someone like Catherine was nice to a guy like him.  
"Whatever it was I didn't do it." He might as well cover himself, because the CSI could be vicious and ruthless when she wanted to, and you really didn't want to get in her way.

Catherine was shaking her head before saying. "I'm not accusing you of something besides not sharing your coffee with me enough." She tried to get Greg to laugh if not at least smile at her joke, before she gave away what she really wanted. "I wanted to ask you some questions about Sara."

Greg's head shot up, when he heard Catherine mention Sara, from once again being engrossed in his tests.  
"No." Short and to the point he thought, but apparently that wasn't enough for the blonde. He should have realized that it wouldn't be.

"What do you mean NO? I haven't asked you anything yet."

The conversation had his full attention. There was no way that the blonde was going to catch him in a slip and make him reveal any private information about his friend. And for that he needed to be focused and alert, because he had seen Catherine interrogate a suspect and it wasn't pretty.  
"I mean no, if you want to know something about Sara ask her."

He was quite pleased with his answer, there was no way that that could come back to haunt him when the brunette found out, and Sara always somehow knew when he wasn't telling her everything.  
Catherine's expression wiped away any happiness he had about that answer. By only looking at her he could tell that she wouldn't drop the topic just on his say so.

"Come on Greg, you're her friend and I'm not asking you to tell me her deep dark secrets just enough for me to understand her."

Greg was looking more and more uncomfortable as Catherine continued to try and convince him to spill on his friend. If that happened, he knew there was no way that Sara would ever talk to him outside the mere necessary interaction at work. That was not something he wanted to happen.  
The lab had become a much better place to be after Sara had joined the team. She never did mind his quirks, though she had the rest of the team thinking so. Never once would the brunette be too busy to show him how to process some of the things that she encountered during a case.  
When he was having a slow night and was able to leave the lab without having Grissom on his case the brunette was always willing to show him how she did things or let him in on her thought process.  
The supervisor had agreed to let him train, but that didn't automatically mean that the lab tech was given a great many opportunities to go out in the field. That hadn't stopped Sara from using her spare time by recommending procedures that he needed to know and by just plain out offering her time.  
There was no way that would continue if he gave in to the force that was Catherine Willows, queen of the lab. If that happened he would be lucky if he could walk away from there, and even more so if Sara didn't just pack up and leave Las Vegas.  
That was after all what she did if the situation where too much for her to handle. Not that he believed that Sara was a weak person, quite the contrary, but it was how she had come to be in Las Vegas after all.  
He didn't know how or why she had become that way. He suspected that he would never get the full story no matter how long he knew the brunette. But he did know that it was connected to why she had spent time in foster care and why Carolyn meant so much to her.

He had met the older woman when Carolyn had been in town to visit Sara, and he had seen for himself why the CSI talked so fondly about the older woman. He had also seen how the older woman had fussed over the eating and sleeping habits of the brunette. Witnessing them laugh together so hard that Sara had tears rolling down her cheeks, he had been amazed, because never had he seen her this carefree.  
When he had first met Carolyn he thought that she was Sara's mother because he had never heard the CSI talk about foster care or about her family for that matter. So he was surprised to say the least, when Carolyn had showed up at the lab to surprise Sara and he had witnessed the greeting between the two brunettes.

Catherine had tried for a good 10 more minutes to get the spiky haired blonde to spill the beans on Sara without success before she left him alone.

* * *

**What do you think, god, bad, needs improvement? Let me know, I love to hear your opinion.**

**Hope you enjoyed it. Please review.**


	12. Chapter 12

The characters of the CSI universe are not mine. The characters that you don't recognize are all mine.  
Thank you so much for the kind reviews. They are all special and greatly appreciated. It's what s keep me writing.

Thanks to cathandsaraforever55 for trying to make sense of my writing, any remaining mistakes are all mine.

I thought that I couldn't write fiction and here I am with more than 35000 words and more to come.

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**Chapter 12 **

Since the brunette had given Catherine a second chance it hadn't bothered the older woman as much when Sara withdrew. Not to say that the blonde was thrilled when it happened, but the older woman accepted that Sara needed some distance to protect herself. Catherine was hoping that if she kept her temper in check it would change. The brunette would feel comfortable enough in the older CSI's presence not to need the protective walls.

Catherine was trying her damndest to be Sara's friend. Sometimes it seemed like it was working; Catherine noticed the younger woman was more welcoming in her demeanor. They had, had some fun talks when they were together or out with the guys. During those times Catherine could easily see the attraction that her daughter had to the brunette. If the blonde was honest with herself she would even notice her own attraction to the younger woman.

Then there were the other times, where the brunette reverted back to her earlier behavior such as when she arrived in Vegas. The most frustrating part of that was that the older woman didn't know what caused these setbacks. Catherine knew that at some point she would blow up if this emotional rollercoaster with the brunette kept up. One day they would be joking and Sara wouldn't mind any closeness. Then on other days the brunette would recoil if Catherine even came close.

The main problem was that the blonde hadn't figured out how to handle her feelings concerning Sara's lack of trust. _Why was it so important that Sara trusted her?_Catherine tried to convince herself that it was because the younger woman was the only one that Lindsey reacted positively to. The older CSI was left with this nagging feeling in the back of her mind, that didn't want to leave her alone. Catherine wasn't quite ready to face this feeling and chose instead to ignore it. At least she tried to ignore it.

Catherine was getting frustrated and she really didn't know how to constructively handle that feeling.

The blonde knew that there was more to Sara than the younger woman was willing to share. Every time the blonde told another personal story and Sara didn't reciprocated, Catherine felt like a joke. The younger CSI would change the topic or refuse to continue any conversation if the brunette's private life came up. Which was rarely, because Sara was extremely good at removing focus from herself. It had taken Catherine some time to notice this.

Lately Catherine had realized that if Sara didn't want to open up among other things, that the blonde might not be able to continue their friendship.

After 2 more months of this Catherine was getting to a point where she was avoiding Sara. The blonde would avoid their breakfast arrangements. She even turned down Sara's offers for coffee. It was tearing the blonde apart not being able to spend time with the younger woman, but Catherine didn't know what to talk to Sara about outside of work.

Helplessness was slowly creeping into Catherine and the only way the blonde knew how to handle that was usually to blow up at Sara. The brunette had always been the older woman's favorite sparring partner.

The hard part for Catherine was that she enjoyed the time she spent with Sara. Her solution to this was avoiding Sara. The only thing that seemed to accomplish was making her extremely cranky and bitchy. For the first time after Sara had arrived in Vegas, Catherine wasn't taking her bitchiness out on the brunette, but on everybody else.

The blonde was as confused as all hell. Snapping at the lab techs or the other CSIs wasn't helping. None of them were able to get her frustration out like fighting with Sara. Maybe that was the answer to the older woman's problems; she missed her sparring partner.

The blonde would have to get Sara engaged in a fight and everything would go back to normal. The older woman instinctively knew that it would cause Sara to withdraw even more again and consequently ruin their friendship.

**Later at the lab**

Sara was coming back from a scene weighted down by copious amounts of evidence. The brunette was hardly able to open the door. As the CSI stepped in the lobby of the building, Judy came up to her.

"Miss Sidle, you have a message. She said it was important that you get it right away."

"Thank you Judy. Can you put it in my pocket? I'm fresh out of hands."

Heading back through the lab, Sara dropped off her evidence at the relevant labs. After depositing the last item and putting the rest in the evidence lockup the brunette went to get a cup of coffee. On the way she started reading Judy's massage.

**Margrethe Carpenter, DCSF. Concerning Samantha and Emily Johnson. Important that you come by or call today. **

Sara was walking through the hall and into the break room without taking her eyes of the note. She suddenly walked into a soft wall and ended up on the floor.

"What do you think you are doing? You are supposed to look where you're going." Catherine hissed even before Sara could look up.

Sara just looked at her without seeing her and couldn't quite comprehend that Catherine was talking to her.

This just pissed Catherine off even more than she already was and she saw her chance of venting and drawing Sara into a much needed fight.

"Are you so dense that you don't even understand normal words?"

Sara interrupted her without thought, "I gotta go."

Sara quickly left a baffled and steaming Catherine. It took her a couple seconds before Catherine could get her head around what happened. She turned around and tried to catch up with Sara to get her to fight no matter what.

Sara was almost in her car before Catherine caught up with her. She hadn't registered that Catherine had yelled at her to stop several times.

"SARA would you stop!! Nobody turns their back on me and just walks away and you are no exception."

This finally snapped Sara out of her bubble.

"Catherine, I don't have time to talk to you now. I have to find out about Sam and Em so excuse me, but I don't have time to worry about your feelings."

As she said this she was already on her way into the car and by the time she had finished she slammed the door and drove out of the parking lot. Leaving Catherine to look at the empty space where the car had been.

The blonde was confused and surprised. Not even when they used to fight regularly did Sara turn her back on a fight. If anything the brunette stayed and fought back as if her life depended on it.

_What the fuck just happened? Who is this Sam, and why has he got Sara so worried that she snapped like that. _

Catherine was still confused, but also pissed, and with no real way of venting she didn't want to pick up Lindsey and end up yelling at her for no good reason. It was far better to yell at the lab techs instead. Most of them thought of her as a bitch anyway so this wouldn't change anything on that point. Yelling at the lab techs wouldn't diffuse the blonde's anger and frustrations. They were all too afraid to fight back. It had to be Sara.

Sara was on her way to DCSF to meet with Margrethe Carpenter and was desperately trying to keep her brain from conjuring up all these horrible explanations to the message she had received.

Thinking about Sam and Emily would only a year ago have been equally painful, and she would have only remembered the bad times. Now she was able to remember the great times they had.

Sara had met Sam one of those rare times she actually let her friends talk her into going to a club with them. It was not like she worked all the time like she did in Vegas. She didn't much like to spend time in a club where she could hardly hear what her friends said, and where they wanted and pressured her to met and preferably flirt with someone she never met. That was just not her style, and to be honest she still had some trust issues from when she was younger. They all knew, but it didn't keep them from badgering her into introducing herself to a girl at the bar.

That had been a total bust, but that night had ended being the best night. They hadn't ended in the best terms. Though the brunette had reached a point where she didn't regret anything, but the fact that she had a hard time keeping in contact with Emily the first 2 years after she moved to Las Vegas.

The woman, her friends wanted her to talk to turned out to be straight and she wouldn't even accept a drink from Sara, and quickly left the bar to find somebody to dance with. Sara thought she might as well stay at the bar for a little while and avoid most of the teasing remarks she knew her friends would make. They were all really great and she wouldn't want them to change. Sometimes the badgering to find someone and their teasing was hard, because she was painfully shy, when it came to anything besides science and her work.

As she was sitting there lost in thoughts she didn't notice that a woman had come up and sat on stool beside her.

"Hi, I'm Sam and you look like you could use some company to go with that heavy thinking."

At this Sara looked up and was met by smiling green eyes framed by blonde hair looking at her. She had no idea what to say, but finally got her mouth to cooperate somewhat as she stammered out her name and a greeting.

Luckily for Sara, Samantha wasn't that easy to get rid of. The blonde wasn't put off by the bizarre comments that Sara couldn't keep from making at the most inopportune moments, which clearly showed the world that she indeed was a nerd.

At some point during the night Sara got more comfortable and the geeky remarks dwindled, but every once in a while she would say something to classify her as a nerd once more. They had been talking for an hour when Sam suggested that they continued their talk somewhere where they could have coffee and pie, because she was in the mood for pie.

Sara readily agreed because she hadn't talked to someone that beautiful and this easily in a long time and didn't want the night to end. It was hard to hear what was being said, or to get your thoughts together in the bar.

"Why did you introduce yourself as Sam when you have such a beautiful name as Samantha?"

Sara grinned at her and at the amount of crème and sugar she put in her coffee. "You know if you put anymore sweeteners in, there won't be room for any actual coffee."

Sara had finally loosened up and was having a great time.

"Nobody but my parents call me Samantha and my mom only uses it when I'm in trouble."

At some point during stuffing pie into her mouth Sam talked about her daughter Emily.

At the first mention of Emily, Sara almost jumped out of her skin and she was ready to bolt from the all night diner. Before the brunette could do that Sam had continued her story about her ex boyfriend she only had, because she was too afraid to come out to her family. So when she had gotten pregnant she had for some time clung to the fantasy of being the all American family.

Somehow during a time where her hormones were running wild she had gotten the courage to not only end a bad relationship, but also to come out to her parents. To her surprise they had been nothing but supportive and they didn't want their baby girl living a lie just to please someone else.

At this point in Sam's story, Sara had calmed down considerately, but she was nowhere near as comfortable as before Sam had mentioned her daughter.

"I know you're freaked," Sara was about to protest, what she knew was a fact, mostly for appearance sake when Sam continued. "I can see it in your eyes."

"I don't expect anything of you, but I would love to have at least a friend, especially one that I can have as much fun with and talk to as we have. Just give it some thought before you dismiss it, please Sara."

At this the blonde scribbled a note and gave it to Sara before slipping out of the booth and gave the CSI a kiss on the check before she left.

Sara had kept the note until it fell apart, and she still remembered what it had said. **When you get that big brain of yours around this give me a call. Sam**.

It has taken Sara a week to get up the courage to call Sam, she had only needed that night to figure out she definitely wanted to.

When she finally called the first thing she said even before introducing herself was, "I'm not good with kids. I don't know what to do when they are around."

Sam had laughed at that greeting when she answered her phone before saying. "That's okay Sara; I avoided kids at all cost before I had Emily."

That had been the beginning of their friendship, which had evolved into a love that Sara had only dreamt of, but never truly believed she deserved even if Carolyn had told her time and time again.

Emily had had this amazing ability. Sara's awkwardness didn't affect her. That's what the brunette thought. Everyone that had ever seen the CSI near a child knew differently.

Sam said that Emily had seen right through Sara's armor, and seen the brunette's big heart that first day Sara had spent with the both of them. There was no turning back after that day; Sara was enamored with the beautiful little girl after only spending a day with her.

Emily had started calling Sara mama at the same time that she started saying that to Sam. The CSI had for a while kept saying Sara to get Emily to call her that and keep mama for her mom. But at no point did Emily get persuaded by that tactic. When the girl got older she corrected Sara whenever the brunette would say Sara about herself. Even when she switched to calling Sam mommy, Sara had stayed mama. The blonde child never did let anybody tell her any differently.

Sara never would forget the look on Emily's face the day that she moved out. When Sara got sent home from work early one day because she was getting sick the CSI had found Sam in bed with someone else. This discovery had broken Sara to the core and it brought up all her insecurities the brunette had fought so hard for so long to overcome.

The worst part of the ugly breakup was that Sara lost her daughter. Sam didn't take the breakup well, and she had refused to let Sara anywhere near Emily. Even when the brunette had begged and pleaded, and the little girl had cried and called for her mama.

That all changed when Sam lost her parents 2 years after Sara had gone to Las Vegas. Sam had lost the last family she had and that had given the blonde the needed courage to contact Sara again.

In the years where Sara hadn't seen Emily she had still put money into Emily's college fund. The brunette knew that Sam wouldn't refuse them as the blonde would have if the money had been sent to her directly. Sara had also sent cards regularly and presents for Em's birthday and for Christmas. She knew that Em had gotten the cards and presents, because every once in a while Sara got a note saying thank you from the girl's grandparents. The CSI knew that Sam wouldn't contact her before the blonde was ready to admit that she wanted Sara in her daughter's life. To let Sara back in was to give the brunette the power to hurt her again. Sara hadn't been the only one with trust issues in the relationship.

In the end it had been made easier by Emily talking about her mama. That had made Sam finally make the call. They had called Sara together and Emily had hardly been able to contain herself she was so excited to talk to the brunette again, and her mom had promised that she could see her mama again.

The first 5 minutes of that phone call had been excruciating. By the end of the hour long conversation, where Sara talked to both Sam and Emily, they were all a lot more comfortable and the CSI had suggested that she use some of her vacation time and visit them in San Francisco. This of course had made Emily so excited that the child had screeched so loudly into the phone that Sara had a hard time hearing anything on that ear for the rest of the day, but it was all worth it.

That first vacation had been awkward to say the least. Both Sam and Sara had been determined to give Emily that family she had been missing out on these past 2 years. After that trip Sara had actually used not all but at least a good part of her vacation time and overtime, much to Grissom's surprise. Sara had gone to San Francisco sometimes, but Emily had spent a week of her last summer vacation with Sara in Las Vegas.

They had, had the best time and had decorated Sara's guest room to Emily's liking. Greg had even helped with the painting, and the little girl had had a great time with the goofy guy.

Pulling up in front of DCSF's building Sara pushed all her memories to the back of her mind and tried to steal herself for the bad news she was expecting. Whenever something good happened to her there would always be some horrible experience to keep her from being happy. The brunette was sure of that, because Sara was still under the misconception that she didn't deserve happiness.

If you were told something enough times, at some point you would come to believe that as the truth. Especially if you were a kid at the time and it was your parents telling you. Carolyn had tried hard to counteract what Sara's parents had spent the first 13 years of the brunette's life telling her but it was a lesson that wasn't easy to unlearn.

Standing in front of DCFS and looking up at the building, Sara was desperately trying to gather her courage to walk inside.

The receptionist looked up as Sara came closer.

"How may I help you?"

"A Margrethe Carpenter called and left a message to come by and talk to her."

"Ah, you must be Ms. Sidle, just take a seat right over there and I'll call her for you."

Sara sat down and nervously looked around trying not to fidget too much. That really wasn't a battle she would win this particular time.

"Ms. Sidle, my name is Margrethe Carpenter, if you would come this way I'll explain why I left that message."

Sara was startled out of her thoughts by the soft voice of the older woman, but quickly got up and followed the other woman to her office.

* * *

**Hope you enjoyed it. Please review.**

**What do you think, god, bad, needs improvement? Let me know, I love to hear your opinion.**


	13. Chapter 13

**The characters of the CSI universe are not mine. The characters that you don't recognize are all mine.  
Thank you so much for the kind reviews. They are all special and greatly appreciated. It's what s keep me writing.**

**Thanks to cathandsaraforever55 for trying to make sense of my writing, any remaining mistakes are all mine.**

Friday what a lovely day, only a 5 hour workday, I can get so many things accomplished that on any other day takes forever. Enough of that here is the next chapter and I'm on to write some more.

* * *

**Chapter 13**

Margrethe tried to start with some small talk, and asked some questions about living arrangement. She was rudely interrupted by a nervous Sara asking her to get to the matter at hand. The brunette needed to know what had happened to have DCFS contact her.

"I'm really sorry Ms. Sidle but 3 days ago there was an accident in San Francisco and both Samantha and Emily were hurt."

At this Sara's eyes almost popped out of her head, "Why? What happened? Are they okay? Why haven't anybody told me before now? Why are DCSF telling me this?"

"Ms. Sidle, I'll answer as best I can. I wasn't told many details by Mrs. Sorensen, the woman is charge of the case in San Francisco." The older woman was looking apologetic, and was trying to bring as much comfort as she could to the younger woman sitting across from her.

"They were involved in a car accident on their way to Emily's school."

Sara's face fell as the woman continued.

"Emily had some scratches, a bump on the head and a broken arm. She is doing as well as can be expected."

"Oh thank God," Sara exclaimed before Margrethe could continue. Not that she usually put much faith in any kind of God.

"Samantha on the other hand didn't come out of the crash as well. She was rushed into surgery but the doctor's weren't able to save her."

The tears were silently running down Sara's face as she listened to what the other woman was telling her. She didn't know how to react to this. Only the tears flowing from the CSI's eyes let you know that she was affected by what had occurred.

"I've contacted you, because apparently you are Emily's only next of kin and Samantha had you put as her guardian in case something happened to her. I'm sorry that it had taken us this long to get in contact with you. Samantha was unconscious when brought to hospital, they had some trouble finding out who her next of kin was."

The gasp from the CSI was barely audible but the shock was clearly visible on her face.

"The San Francisco office contacted me to contact you, when they finally found you. They wanted me to find out if you are able and willing to take Emily in."

Before she could continue she was interrupted by Sara. "Of course! There is no question about that, I wouldn't want her to go to foster care. That is no way for a child to grow up."

There was a clear smile on Margrethe's face before she could pick up with her explanation. "That is so good to hear. Emily has been in shock since the social worker had to tell her what happened to her mother. She has been crying for her mother ever since. Every time Mrs. Sorensen told her that her mother was in fact dead the girl refused to listen and demanded to see her mother."

Sara looked horrified but let a small sad smile creep up on her face.

"What exactly did she ask for? Emily has always called me mama and Samantha mom. So if she actually asked for her mama the social worker probably scarred her half to death by insisting that I was dead as well."

"I haven't heard precisely what she said, but it is possible that she was asking for you."

"Can I call her to calm her down, and tell her that I'm fine and nothing happened to me?"

"Yes, I think that is an excellent idea."

Margrethe was trying to get the San Francisco case worker on the phone to let Emily talk to Sara. In the mean time the brunette sat stunned starring into thin air.

It took several minutes to convince the young girl to come to the phone. Emily didn't believe anything that they were saying. First they had kept insisting that her mother and mama were dead. Now they wanted her to believe that Sara wanted to talk to her over the phone. What was a 6 year old to believe?

Margrethe handed Sara the phone pulling the CSI out of her thoughts. Sara hadn't heard what the older woman said, but slowly put the phone to her ear.

"Hello." Hoping someone on the other end would tell her it was all a bad dream.

"Hello Ms. Sidle. I have a girl here that would love to hear your voice."

Before Sara could even react or answer, the brunette could hear the phone being passed to another person. That's when the CSI heard the sweetest thing, "Mama?" The doubt in the little girl's voice was so obvious it had Sara on the brink of tears yet again.

"Yes sweetie, it's me…" The brunette stopped talking as she heard Emily start sobbing. Sara tried hard to get Emily to calm down enough so the girl would be able to hear what the brunette was saying.

Margrethe had handed the CSI a note, while Sara was on the phone. The brunette would have to go to San Francisco if she wanted to take custody of Emily. This got Sara going. The brunette needed to make plans, but couldn't just hang up on the distraught girl.

"Sweetheart, if you go with the lady and get something to eat I'll come and get you as soon as I can be there."

"But I want to talk to you, mama." Usually the blonde referred to the CSI as both mama and Sara depending on the situation. The trauma of the accident had Emily reverting back to only using mama.

"I know Em. But I have to hang up if I'm to get there."

It took some talking back and forth before the young girl would agree to let Sara go.

The brunette was almost out the door before the older woman caught up with her.

"You'll need to make an appointment with me when you get back here."

"I would like to give Emily a little time to digest the events before you come and check up on us, if that's okay?"

"That will be fine Ms. Sidle. I'll see you both when you get back then."

Sara didn't have time for anything more than a wave as she ran to her car. Before the brunette had even gotten halfway back to the lab Sara had gotten a ticket on the next flight out of Vegas.

"Willows."

The brunette barely gave the blonde time to say anything as the younger woman barreled ahead with her quickly thought up speech.

"Catherine I need a favor. I know you're angry with me and probably don't want to help me. If you'll just hear me out I'll let you yell at me all you want later."

The brunette took a short brake to breathe and collect her thoughts. But not long enough to let Catherine get a word in.

"I need you to take my shift tonight. I have to go out of town. It's an emergency and I've got to leave right now."

This time the older woman figured if she was to get a word in she would have to interrupt.

"Okay. I'll take your shift, but will you give me a reason at some point or will this be all the information I get?" Catherine had managed to keep her voice soft and without demand. The blonde had not been happy with the way they were getting along. That had all changed when Sara asked for help.

"I promise I'll tell you everything you want to know later. I really don't have time to get into it now. Emily needs me to get there now, Cat."

Sara was so worried that she didn't notice that she had called the blonde by the much hated shortened name. Catherine wasn't particularly fond of any of the shortened versions of her name, but Cat was by far the worst. The brunette had once witnessed the older woman nearly chewing Greg's head off for using it.

Before Catherine could even react to Sara's slip or anything that the brunette had said the younger woman had continued.

"I've got to go. I have to talk to Grissom, before I fly out to San Francisco. I'll explain everything when I get back. Thanks."

With that the brunette hung up leaving Catherine to look at her cell contemplating what had happened. Jogging into the lab Sara almost ran into Ecklie in the hall. The brunette didn't stop to acknowledge the director but kept going.

"Sidle, I'll have you know that there is no running in this lab."

When the young woman ignored him, Ecklie followed Sara to Grissom's office. If for no other reason he could always give her a warning on proper behavior in the lab. Luckily for both the brunette and the night shift supervisor the lab director got distracted and Ecklie missed the conversation.

Sara was so focused and in such a hurry that she had given up all pretenses of politeness. Barging in without knocking, the brunette started with no hello or sorry for interrupting. "Grissom, I need time off and I'm not sure for how long. I have to go to San Francisco and my plane leaves in less than two hours."

The supervisor was shocked. Not once had the younger woman talked to him like that.

"I can't just give you time off without notice. First of I need you to work tonight, we're shorthanded enough as it is."

"I'm already covered tonight. Catherine said she'll take my shift. And I know I have enough vacation time on the books to get a week off."

The brunette had everything figured out and Grissom didn't know how to respond. It was easier when Sara had asked the supervisor's opinion on everything. What Gil didn't know, was that Sara never went to Grissom with everything. Especially not anything personal.

"GRISSOM! I need an answer now."

As Gil was about to respond the brunette broke in.

"You know what. I'm leaving now, you put whatever you want on the form."

This got the supervisor's attention. He finally believed that the brunette was serious.

"That's fine. I'll put you down for a week of vacation. If you need anything let me know."

As Grissom said this Ecklie walked in. "I think not. Grissom this is why there are problems on the night shift. You can't get time off at the drop of a hat."

Sara was livid and was about to respond with what would most likely get her fired when Grissom spoke up.

"No Ecklie. It's my shift and I say that Sara can have the time off. We already have tonight covered and Nick is back tomorrow." Grissom turned to look at the brunette. "Have a safe trip, and let me know if you need anything."

The young woman was out the door before the lab director could respond and didn't hear the yelling directed at Gil.

Sara had gone straight to the airport from the lab. Only stopping to get the extra clothes she had in her locker. Lucky for the brunette she had recently brought in all clean clothes.

From the airport in San Francisco the brunette went to the temporary safe home, where the caseworker, Patricia Sorensen, waited with Emily.

It took longer to be allowed access to the building than Sara would have liked under the circumstances. The CSI didn't pay any real attention to what was going on around her as she was finally shown to the room the young girl was in.

Sara stood quietly watching her little girl huddled in the corner away from the older woman seated at the table.

It didn't take Emily long to notice the brunette. The young blonde sprinted over and flung herself into the arms of the CSI. The brunette had noticed that the girl was shaking, but it wasn't until Emily was in Sara's arms that the woman noticed the tears streaking the blonde's cheeks.

Slowly sliding down, using the wall as support, Sara got them both settled on the floor.

"Oh sweetie," the brunette softly cooed to the young girl. "You're safe. I've got you." Sara continuously reassured her daughter while slowly rocking the young girl. Emily clung to the brunette and let the comfort slowly but surely calm her.

The tears didn't stop, but the shaking was almost eliminated. Sara was certain that the tightness of the girl's grip had also loosened. This left a small part of the brunette's conscience to take in who else was in the room. Close to where the CSI had seen Emily an older woman with graying hair, was sitting quietly looking at them. Sara assumed that that was the caseworker, Margrethe had told her about. Not giving much thought to the older woman Sara turned her full attention back on the blonde in her arms.

Emily was now more than ever, the most important person in the CSI's life. It didn't matter how tired she was, or that she was sitting on the cold hard floor.

Sara didn't know how to make the world stop spinning out of control. Not only for herself, but also for Emily.

The young girl pulled slightly back before saying. "She said you died." The sobbing returned full force and the blonde put her head back in the crock of Sara's neck.

"Sweetheart that was all a mistake. I'm right her, safe and sound."

Softly stroking the blonde's hair, Sara looked angrily at the old woman across the room. The case worker was looking disapprovingly at the brunette. Patricia had been convinced that when Emily had cried for both mommy and mama that the young girl had used different terms for the same person. It never once occurred to the old woman that the young blonde could have two mothers.

Mrs. Sorensen had been almost grandmotherly when she had first talked to Emily. The old woman had been kind and compassionate when explaining what had happened to Samantha.

The misunderstanding had left Emily devastated. The blonde had not really understood what had happened only that she would never see her mom again.

When the young blonde had cried for her mama, the caseworker had been certain that the child hadn't understood. Therefore explaining what had happened using the new name for mother that Emily had switched to. Then Margrethe had found Sara and confused the young girl even more.

When Mrs. Sorensen had found that the mama Emily had cried for wasn't Samantha she had withdrawn from the young girl. The sweet and caring old woman was repulsed by the discovery and had only sat in the room quietly watching the girl until Sara arrived.

The brunette was livid. That old bat had been so closed minded. If Emily had not been in the room the CSI would had chewed her head off. It would most likely ruin Sara's chances of getting custody of the blonde girl. For once the brunette was grateful for the excuse to keep her temper in check. There wasn't any good reason to risk Emily for the satisfaction of yelling at the case worker.  


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**I know it doesn't have much hold in reality. My story, my universe and anything goes.  
That said I would still love to hear what you think so leave a review.**


	14. Chapter 14

**I'm not entirely happy about this chapter but I haven't been able to get it just right . I hope it's not too bad.  
**

**Chapter 14**

It had taken several hours before Sara and Emily had gotten off the floor. In the last hour or so Sara had started talking to Mrs. Sorensen. Arrangements for Emily to return to Las Vegas with Sara would have to be made.

The CSI was on good standing with DCSF and Samantha had appointed Sidle as Emily's guardian in case of her death. It would be possible for the brunette to take the young girl home. They would, however, have to appear in court in 6 months to establish permanent guardianship. Before that DCSF would do regular follow-ups and the judge would decide based on DCSF's reports and recommendations. Causing Sara's life to be under scrutiny, but the CSI considered it a small price to pay for Emily's comfort.

The young girl was refusing to let go of the brunette even for a minute. The cast on Emily's left arm was chafing Sara's neck. It was becoming increasingly uncomfortable. Sara wasn't about to let go of the blonde because of a little pain. Not when the girl so clearly needed the close contact. At least by now Emily wasn't holding on in a death grip.

Still teary eyed the blonde leaned slightly back to look at the woman.

"I wanna go home."

Before Sara answered, she looked over at the old woman, who silently nodded. They were free to go. Sara would have to sign some papers, but they wouldn't be ready until the morning.  
The brunette stood up, without asking the CSI knew that Emily wouldn't want to let go.  
Gently shifting the young girl, so she was supported by the brunette's hip and arm. They headed to the door before Patricia handed Sara her card.

Emily and Sara came to an agreement getting into the cab. The blonde would sit by herself holding onto the CSI's hand. They couldn't go to Samantha's house. Sara didn't have a key. What was the point when the brunette lived in Vegas?

They could get into the house the next day. For the night though they would have to settle for a hotel room. However, Emily would be more comfortable in her own home.

Sara was exhausted. Not that the brunette hadn't been up for much longer time before, but this day had been especially hard. The CSI's emotions had been all over the place. Anyone would have been exhausted by that kind of day.

It wasn't until they were both comfortably in the hotel room that Sara noticed how hungry she was. The CSI had forgotten all about food when Judy had handed her the note.  
Before that the brunette hadn't had an opportunity to eat for most of her shift. Leaving Sara with a grumbling stomach. Assuming that the young girl probably hadn't eaten much since the accident. Sara knew that Emily had a hard time stomaching food when upset.

Clinging to the brunette's left hand for all she was worth. Emily had broken her left arm in two places, but had otherwise escaped the accident without much physical damage.

When Sara had called for room service the CSI had convinced the other person to bring a couple of plastic trash bags and some rubber bands. While on the phone, Emily had quietly asked the brunette for a pen to write on the cast. Sara was lucky enough that the hotel employee had seen them come in and volunteered to bring permanent markers in the colors he could find.

Sara had made a deal with the blonde. After they had eaten Emily would get a bath and then the brunette would sign the cast.

Putting the trash bag over the cast and securing it was easier than Sara remembered. Of course this time it wasn't her own arm the brunette had to wrap. The last time the CSI had, had a broken arm was when she had first moved in with Carolyn. It had been easier that time than all the previously times the brunette had worn a cast. Carolyn had offered to help, but Sara had stubbornly refused every time. All the other times before no one had been there, or even cared to help.

Sara would make sure that this little girl knew she was loved. That had been all the brunette had longed for as a child.

Emily was a resilient girl. It didn't mean that everything was fine, but Sara was sure that they would get there eventually. The proof came when the CSI got a cautious smile out of the young girl. Nothing much, but it was a start.

The bath time had turned out to be more healing than both of them had expected. The brunette had gotten Emily to experiment with placing the girl's left arm in the water to see it float up to the surface. That had gotten the blonde's attention.  
After several tries the young girl was softly laughing along with Sara. It didn't last long though, but for a moment they both forgot what had happened.

Sara didn't have any alternative for the girl's clothes, but the brunette let Emily borrow one of the clean shirts from the CSI's bag.  
Emily like her mother was of slight build and the shirt was one of Sara's looser ones. This resulted in the shirt being more like a dress, which was fitting as the blonde needed it for sleeping in.

The brunette was in a desperate need of a shower to wash off the day's events. But that would have to wait till she got Emily to sleep. At the moment the CSI was keeping her promise. The girl's cast was in need of decoration, and that was what Sara was doing.  
Emily's left arm was covered in purple cast. The girl's favorite color. The blonde didn't have any specific demands as to what the brunette was to draw. Sara was left to her own devises, except that it needed to be signed with mama.

The choices in colors were limited so they agreed that Sara would only do a happy face next to the mama the CSI wrote. They would wait with more drawings to when they could get Cam to do them. The mechanic had made some sketches for Emily when the young girl was visiting in Vegas.  
There needed to be enough room for Cam's drawings and Sara was limited to a small space close to Emily's wrist.

It hadn't been as hard as Sara had expected to get the blonde to fall asleep. The brunette had been in the middle of the story when the young girl had started snoring little kitten snores.

After a long shower, with the bathroom door open to listen out for any sound Emily might make, Sara was ready to start on the phone calls she needed to attend to. Catherine would be the first. The brunette needed to apologize for ruining the older CSI's time with Lindsey. That would also be a good chance to start with the explanation. The brunette also needed to let Grissom know that she needed more time, but that could wait.

It wasn't too late to call the blonde CSI. Catherine wouldn't have left for work, but Lindsey would be asleep.

Sara would have to plan Samantha's funeral. For the brunette to get everything started she would have to spend a good portion of the night making calls. Arrangements with the funeral home would have to wait until the ME's office released the body. But that would depend on what the CSIs found. The brunette still had some contacts in San Francisco. That might make it easier to get answers. Sara couldn't be brushed off as she knew some victims families were.

Sara was baffled by the courage needed to actually call the blonde now that it wasn't an emergency anymore. The brunette thought it would have become easier to talk to the older woman now that they were friends. That was the case until Sara had become aware of her attraction to Catherine. Then everything changed.

Catherine was more difficult to talk to than any other woman the brunette had ever been attracted to. The younger woman thought it might be due to Catherine being great at finding the truth. That was what scared the brunette the most. Sara knew that this had caused a lot of tension, but didn't know how to change that.

The CSI didn't want to leave the young girl or wake her. The call had to be made sitting across the room from where Emily was sleeping.

"Willows." Catherine always sounded guarded and professional when answering her phone. Sara guessed the older woman had expected Grissom to call her in early and hadn't looked at the caller ID.  
"Hi Catherine… uh, it's Sara."  
The brunette could hear the older woman chuckle. "Yeah, I could hear that. Is everything alright? Do you need any help?"  
The blonde got more worried as it took some time for the younger woman to answer. When Sara finally found her voice, the answer wasn't exactly what Catherine had hoped for. Not that the blonde was entirely sure what she had wanted Sara to say but this wasn't it.  
"I wouldn't say alright, but I got here and Emily will be fine. I called to apologize for ruining your time with Lindsey." Sara's voice was softer than usual, as not to wake up the young girl.  
"Hey, that's okay. We both know that it had to be something important for you to have to leave town so suddenly. No need for you to apologize, hon."  
Catherine had surprised herself with how right it felt to call the brunette hon. Sure the older woman was liberal with the endearments for the people in her life. Sara had never been included in that list before. Until the older CSI had asked the brunette to have dinner with her and Lindsey.  
"I also called because I owe you an explanation," Sara had interrupted the blonde's thoughts of the younger woman.  
Catherine was quick to interrupt the brunette. "You don't owe me anything, but if you want to or feel like talking, I'll be here."  
That caught the younger woman by surprise. Not once had Sara expected that the blonde wouldn't pressure her for the truth.  
"I know you have to be at work soon. It's a long story and I can't tell you everything over the phone…"

Here there was a longer pause, while the brunette tried to figure out what to say that wouldn't need a long and complicated explanation. Catherine knew that if she interrupted now, the younger CSI might not continue. And no matter how understanding the blonde was, she was dying to know who Emily was and what had happened.

"I don't know what actually happened, but from what I heard Samantha and Emily were involved in a car accident yesterday."  
Sara didn't want to lie, but she thought that the blonde deserved to hear about Samantha face to face.  
"The doctors tried to save Samantha, but something went wrong. This left her daughter, Emily, all alone."  
"Oh my God. Is she okay?" The mother in Catherine wanted to protect that girl and Sara.  
"Yeah, she got lucky, sort of. Emily broke her arm in two places. Besides that she is physically okay, only some minor scratches."  
Catherine could hear the sigh, and knew there was more the younger woman wanted to say.  
"She doesn't have anyone but me, Cat." Sara couldn't keep the tears back any longer and they slowly rolled down her cheeks.  
"Sweetie, everything will be okay. She has you and I know that you will do great. I'll help, we'll all help you Sara."

The rest of their conversation had mostly been the blonde trying to console the younger woman. Not an easy feat over the phone. Especially when the older woman just wanted to hold the brunette. That had surprised Catherine.  
The younger CSI was horrified that she had broken down in front of Catherine. Well not technically in front of. Sara had apologized several times before they had hung up. Not believing the blonde's reassurance that Sara had nothing to be sorry for.

The conversation had taken a toll on the younger woman. Luckily the next calls to some of Sam's friends were relatively easy. They had all volunteered not only to inform all that needed to know, but also to arrange the funeral.

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**Was it as horrible as I think, please review ;-)**

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	15. Chapter 15

**Sorry for the delay, I had hoped to update this story before my vacation but somehow time slipped away but I'm back now and have the next chapter almost ready.**

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Chapter 15

Sara hadn't gotten a great deal of sleep. The young blonde's sleep had been restless. Not waking up herself, but the brunette had been woken several times. Being hit or kicked by the sleeping child would do that. Apparently even restless sleep gave much needed rest for Emily.

They had a lot of things to attend to before the brunette could take the young girl home. That didn't mean that the CSI would hurry Emily along. They would take their time. No reason to make this more painful than necessary.

Sara let Emily have pancakes for breakfast. Something usually reserved for special occasions like birthday's or Christmas.

The first stop after breakfast would have to be the brunette's old work place. The Crime Lab. Sara knew that her old supervisor, Jim Fuller, was still working as the dayshift supervisor. If the CSI was to get information he would be the best option.

There was a new receptionist. Sara and the blonde had to wait 15 minutes before Jim could get away to see them. As he walked out in the lobby, the brunette was quick to get up.

"Jim Fuller, you miss me so much that you went and aged 10 years in just 4 years time." Sara grinned brightly at her old boss.

"Be still me heart, Sara Sidle in the flesh." The gray haired man quickly crossed the room engulfing the younger woman in a bear hug,

After hugging his old friend, Tim moved his focus to the young blonde, who was looking up at Sara with big eyes. Kneeling down in front of Emily. "This dashing young lady can't possibly be young Emily," the big man grinned up at the brunette. "You young lady, look more and more like your mother every time I see you. So what brought these two beautiful ladies to see me?"

He didn't notice the tears welling up in the blonde's eyes. Sara knew that being compared to Sam was a little much for the young girl right now. Hugging Emily, Sara turned to Jim. "Sorry Jim but we're here on business. Samantha was killed in a car accident 4 days ago. I was hoping your team caught the case."

When Sara had finished, she had the girl placed securely on her hip trying to comfort Emily. Tim hadn't seen either Emily or Samantha since the brunette left for Las Vegas. He hadn't connected the woman in their morgue with Sara's old girlfriend. Now that the younger woman had brought it to his attention, he could see the semblance to the woman he had once known.

"We did. I have one of my younger CSI's working the case. I'm guessing you would like to know what happened."

"Yes, but that will have to be later." The gray haired man looked confused at Sara until she discreetly tilted her head toward the girl in her arms. "Now I would like to have her possessions, so we can get in the house, and I would like to know when you think she'll be released."

"Oh, yeah of course. If you would follow me, you can wait in my office while I find your information."

Sara was glad that Jim's office looked nothing like Grissom's. That wouldn't be something the brunette wanted to subject the young girl to at this time.

It had been an open and shut case and Samantha's body could be released that day. An old friend of both Sara and Sam would, as agreed, arrange the funeral.

The people Sara had talked to last night had promised to come by the house that evening. If for nothing else they wanted to show their support. Most of them were friends of the brunette from before the CSI moved. The service was scheduled for the day after tomorrow.

The brunette and Emily would leave for Vegas soon after the funeral. That way Emily could get into some sort of normal life again. The brunette thought it would be better that way. They could come back to visit both the grave and the city, the young girl had been born in.

Before going to the house they stopped to sign the papers, with Patricia Sorensen, which gave the brunette temporary custody of Emily.

Emily was able to leave the brunette's side when they got to the girl's home. This left Sara with the possibility of calling Cam without having to worry about what she said. The CSI was in need of clean clothes and now she needed to go to a funeral as well. Besides Sara needed a friend and the mechanic was a close friend.

The brunette hadn't needed to worry about Cam's willingness to come to San Francisco. The mechanic promised to bring the CSI some clothes and her art kit to start decorating the young girl's cast.

Emily had been rather subdued all day. Nothing the brunette hadn't expected. But it had made it difficult to get anything done. Especially when Sam's friends had shown up. That was when the reaction came to its fullest. Emily loudly refused to allow Sara to leave her room after tucking the girl in for the night.

"Okay sweetheart, I'll stay with you. I just need 2 minutes to talk with Gail and I'll come back in here." Sara turned to walk to the door to talk to her friend.

"Mama no! Don't leave me." The brunette was right back at the bed as she heard the desperation in the young girl's voice.

"Sweetheart. I promise I'm not leaving you. I'll be right over there at the door, and you can see me the whole time."

Emily nodded, but the tears didn't stop all the while Sara was standing in the doorway. The brunette was whispering with two of Samantha's friends. They promised to make all arrangements concerning Sam's service. If they had any questions they would be sure to call. It had taken more than the promised two minutes, but now the CSI and Emily were alone in the house.

It took a long time for the blonde to feel safe enough to fall asleep. Sara had to promise not to leave the room. They had ended up sleeping in the girl's bed, not an easy feat as it was only a twin bed. The young girl used the CSI as a combination between her favorite teddy and a mattress.

The girl slept without moving, not usual for Emily. This did, however, ensure that the brunette wasn't pushed of the bed. But it left Sara pinned by a sleeping child. The CSI didn't mind. If it was what it took to make the blonde feel safe, the brunette would gladly do it every night.

It didn't look like the brunette would get to do anything without Emily close by. That meant that the blonde would have to come with Sara, when the CSI went to see the attorney Sam had used after her parents died. After the blonde had lost both parents the woman had contacted a lawyer. Sam had needed to make sure Emily would be taken care off if something happened.

The meeting with the attorney had proven to be without problems. He had promised to take care of everything concerning the blonde's estate. There wouldn't be any unforeseen problems as Sam had been very clear in her will, but if questions did arise he would be sure to contact Sara.

Grissom had not been thrilled when the brunette had asked for a leave of absence. The supervisor had not so kindly demanded a suitable reason.

Ecklie had been on his case regularly since Sara had left for San Francisco. When the brunette had called requesting more time off it had pushed Grissom to lose his temper. Sara was the unfortunate victim.

The brunette didn't have the luxury of being able to yell back since Emily was next to her. That didn't keep the woman from her acidic retorts. Making it clear to the night shift supervisor, that his reaction was not acceptable. The quiet icy voice was far better at communicating this to Grissom than yelling would ever have been.

Grissom apologized.

After Sara had told him the headlines of why she needed the time, the supervisor had graciously offered the brunette all the time she needed.

The arrival of Cam had been a big help. While Sara went through Sam's personal papers the young blonde had, without any problems, been in the other end of the living room with the mechanic. Cam had brought all the different colors of permanent markers she was able to get her hands on. The two of them was having a lively conversation about what Cam was to draw. This was the happiest Sara had heard the blonde since the CSI had arrived in San Francisco.

At some point Emily had wanted a bigger cast because there just wasn't enough room on the one she had. The blonde had at one point wished her leg had been broken instead. This had both Sara and Cam laughing. It didn't take long before they were all laughing. That had turned into a tickle fight, and for a time they all forgot about what happened to Samantha.

Emily had finally decided on a dragon like the one Cam had tattooed on her back and arm. That left the mechanic in a tough place. Cam had never drawn a dragon before and wasn't sure she would be able to do it justice. The blonde wanted her dragon to be exactly like Cam's. Meaning that it had to not only be on the cast but also on the child's back. Luckily the mechanic had talked Emily out of this notion before Sara had been drawn into the conversation.

The finished dragon was nowhere near as nice as the tattooed one. Emily though, was thrilled with the end result and couldn't wait to show it to everyone.

The young girl's rant about showing the dragon to her friends at school reminded Sara about that particular problem. The brunette had forgotten all about school. She now also had to contact Emily's school and teacher. The problems were stacking up and Sara didn't know how to deal with all of them. The CSI put all these confusing thoughts and emotions to the back of her mind for later.

The day of the funeral went by in a blur for both Sara and Emily. The brunette hardly noticed who showed up to show their support. Cam was a great help running interference at the funeral. The mechanic kept the people that wanted to talk to the CSI and the girl at a minimum.

Carolyn had showed up the night before the service and took hand of all the practical things that needed to be done.

Cam had to go back to her garage and left for Vegas the morning after they buried Sam. Carolyn though stayed in the house and helped until Sara had everything in order to go back home.

Before flying out of San Francisco Sara had gotten the okay for packing and taking what the brunette or Emily wanted from the house. The older woman packed up most of Emily's things that would be moved to Vegas.

All the family photos were added to the things the CSI wanted to bring. The brunette didn't need more furniture; she had her apartment fully furnished including the young blonde's room.

Emily was included in the decision of what they wanted to bring to Vegas and what to give away. Most of the things were either given to friends or to charities. The attorney would handle selling the house and all the other financials.

Carolyn had offered stay a day after the brunette and Emily flew out to oversee the movers and direct the right boxes to Sara's address. The older woman promised that she would come see them in Vegas soon.

Sara wasn't sure what they would do once they got back to Vegas. The first thing the brunette needed to attend to was find a school for the blonde. They also needed to contact DCSF. There were all of a sudden a bunch of things that needed the CSI's focus, but none more than Emily.

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Now it's your turn, let me know what you think, review.


	16. Chapter 16

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Chapter 16

Cam had gotten Zeke to look after the garage so she could pick Sara and Emily up at the airport. The brunette hadn't wanted her car to be parked at the airport, and the mechanic had gotten Zeke to pick up the CSI's car.

Samantha had been buried on Tuesday and it was now Friday. If Sara remembered correctly Saturday was Catherine's night off. That would be the perfect opportunity to explain to the older woman and Lindsey. It would also give Emily a day to get reacquainted with Sara's apartment.

Having the Willows' over for dinner would be a good way to start slowly introducing the young girl to the people the brunette worked with. And besides Catherine deserved an explanation before everybody else found out. This would also allow Sara to see Lindsey.

It would, however, only work if the strawberry-blonde CSI didn't already have other plans. The invitation would be short notice. There was also the possibility that the older woman didn't want to waste time on Sara. That was at least what the brunette feared.

Calling Catherine, the brunette got the older woman's answering machine.

"Hi Catherine, it's Sara. Uhm we made it home okay and I wanted to er… invite you and Lindsey over for dinner tomorrow. If that's okay with you."

It had been awkward talking to the machine, and the younger woman hurried to get her message over with.

Now came the hard part, she had to wait for Catherine to decide and get back to her. It always felt like forever when Sara had to wait for someone's approval. The presence of Emily was great at keeping the CSI's thoughts off the older woman.

The boxes with all of the young girl's things wouldn't be delivered until Wednesday of next week. They had brought some of the young blonde's clothes and a few books with them on the flight. So there wasn't all that much that needed to be put away.

Being out of town for almost a week didn't improve the amount of edible food in the brunette's home. Going to the store would be a good distraction for the both of them. That was a much better way to pass the time until Catherine called instead of waiting in the apartment. Besides the CSI had always enjoyed spending that time with Emily, and if they left now they could be back in time to make dinner at a reasonable hour.

They spent most of the time in the store looking at and selecting fruits and vegetables. Emily had always been fond of trying new things. And unlike many of the girl's friends the blonde loved fruit and most vegetables. Once in a while the young blonde, like most children, disliked what was served. Sara was okay with that, the one rule the brunette insisted on concerning food, was that Emily had to taste the food before deciding if she liked it or not. After Emily came back in the CSI's life the rule for tasting had been changed to a bite per year of the blonde's age. This worked rather well because sometimes the girl was adamant that she didn't like something after 3 bites and by the 5th it was her new favorite food.

They needed a lot of things now that Emily would be staying permanently with the brunette. It wasn't only food the CSI was short on. For the last two months Sara hadn't been all that good at shopping and she was running low on several household items.

By the time they were ready to pay the cart was full, which surprised Sara. That had never happened to the CSI before.

The normalcy of going grocery shopping had been good for the young blonde. It made her feel safe and normal. Two things that the brunette knew were important. Sara had never felt normal and safe until the CSI had live with Carolyn.

As they were getting ready to get into the car Sara's cell rang. Making sure the young girl was inside before answering the phone it had rung a couple of times when the brunette got to it.

"Sidle," the CSI hadn't looked at the caller ID to avoid the call going through to voicemail.

"Sara, I was beginning to think that you didn't want to talk to me." The mock hurt in the blonde's voice was easily recognized even by the insecure brunette. That didn't mean that Sara knew what to say.

"Er…" Thousands of thoughts flew through the younger woman's mind, but nothing that she could put into words.

When it didn't sound like the brunette would say anything, Catherine continued. "I called to tell you that Lindsey and I would love to come to dinner. But are you sure you want to cook for all of us? You have enough to deal with as it is."

Sara had finally found her voice by the time that the blonde finished. "It won't be a problem."

"Okay. When do you want us to be there?"

"Um… we'll be there all day so at 5-ish if that works for you." Talking to the blonde made Sara flustered and rather tongue-tied.

Right before Sara was about to hang up the brunette was stopped by the soft chuckle of the other woman. "I'll need your address if we're to get there honey."

This put a smile on the brunette's face. Giving the blonde directions to her apartment had been the end of an awkward conversation on Sara's part.

Saturday afternoon found Sara and Emily patting around the apartment in bare feet. The brunette only wore shoes and socks when she had to. And the young girl was copying the CSI.

There wasn't any need for them to do any tidying as Sara was a somewhat neat freak. Everything had its place. And Emily hadn't been there long enough to have changed that even a little.

When the door bell rang they were in the kitchen cutting up the vegetables for a stir-fry. Emily had asked for that dish specific. As they had raided the grocery store for fruit that would be cut up and served for desert.

Not as shy as Sara had been as a child, the blonde was still reluctant to leave the brunette's side for too long. The CSI barely had time to open the door before the whirl wind known as Lindsey jumped into her arms.

"Hi Sara, mom said you had to leave town, but now that you're back you wanted company."

The strawberry blonde girl's enthusiasm was overwhelming to the younger blonde and Emily stepped behind Sara.

"Hey Linds. Great to see you. Why don't you come inside before you pass out from lack of oxygen." The brunette grinned at the girl still hugging her.

Turning to look at the older woman Sara continued. "Come in and make yourself at home. Can we get you something to drink before I make the introductions?" Sara knew there would be questions when she explained who Emily was. This way she could make it more comfortable for the younger blonde.

"Can I have a soda, mom?" Getting a nod from Catherine, Lindsey said, "Orange, please."

Walking to the kitchen to get drinks, Sara threw over her shoulder. "What about you Catherine? I can always make you some coffee." This earned the brunette a smile that the younger woman didn't see as she already had her back turned.

"Whatever soda you have will be fine."

The younger blonde followed closely behind the brunette.

Lindsey had already been in the apartment before and made herself at home on the couch. Shoes left by the door, the young Willows had her feet pulled under her. Catherine on the other hand was content to look around and get a feel for the place. It wasn't anything the older CSI had imagined Sara's home to be like.

The kitchen was a part of the living room and the two Willows' could hear and see everything in there.

"Mama, can I have a soda too?" This got the attention of the two strawberry blondes. Before either of them could react though Sara answered.

"No, but you may have one for dinner. We do have buttermilk, if you want that?"

The suggestion of buttermilk as fair trade for soda shocked Catherine and the reaction from Emily left the older woman speech less.

Emily wasn't used to soda and the joy of having one for dinner was far greater than being denied one now. The young blonde didn't drink any other kind of milk, but buttermilk was the girl's favorite.

Instead of complaining about Sara's decision, as Lindsey no doubt would have done, the younger girl went to fridge and got out the water, the brunette always drank, as well as the buttermilk.

When Sara took four glasses from the cabinet the girl looked slightly embarrassed that she had forgot the two sodas for their guest.

"Oops sorry," Emily opened the fridge once more to get the two sodas.

Emily carried the drinks to the table in two rounds. As the younger blonde put the last of them down Lindsey couldn't keep it in anymore.

"Sara's you mom?" When the young Willows saw Emily's nod, Lindsey had to say it. "Wicked." Lindsey knew her mom wasn't all that happy about this new word the young strawberry blonde had started using.

This was getting more interesting by the minute, and Catherine hoped that Sara really did intent to clear up the mystery that was the brunette's private life. The older woman did know that now was not the time for all the questions she had.

Sara came in with the glasses. As they all sat down the brunette thought it as good time as any to start the introductions.

"Guys this is Emily and she'll be living with me." Turning to look at the younger blonde half hiding behind her Sara continued. "Em, this is Catherine Willows a friend of mine and her daughter Lindsey."

Gently giving the child a nudge to remind her of her manners. Normally Emily would without reminders politely have said hello. Samantha had been big on manners and Emily had always been polite. With all the changes that had happened, Sara wasn't about to pressure the blonde child for something this small. But a little nudge was all it took to remind Emily.

Catherine could see the insecurity in the younger girl's face. "Hi sweetheart. It's very nice to meet you." Softly shaking the hand of the suddenly shy girl.

As if the handshake was enough to jump start Emily's memory, the young girl remembered what her mom had taught her.

"Hello Mrs. Willows."

Catherine got a small and cautious smile. _This is such an adorable little girl, but how can she be Sara's daughter? _

Before the older woman had time to filter her thoughts she spoke aloud. "I didn't know you had a daughter. Why didn't you tell me Sara?"

This brought a tinge of red to the brunette's checks, though it didn't seem like Sara was about to answer. Catherine, however, got an answer from a different source.

"Mama," Emily looked sternly at Sara. "You didn't tell about me or mommy."

_If it was as simple as that, I wouldn't have had to keep everything a secret. _

Lindsey hadn't said anything, but was looking from the younger girl to the pictures to Sara. "You're the Emily from the pictures!" Exclaimed the young Willows as she had finally made the connection.

"Yes Lindsey. Samantha was her mother. We lived together when Em was younger, before I came to Vegas."

Catherine was starring, and it had the brunette shifting in her seat. It wasn't so much that Sara had lived with a woman that surprised the older CSI, but that the younger woman never told her about Emily. She would never have been able to not talk about Lindsey. This gave the strawberry blonde an insight in how lonely it must have been for the brunette, when everything Sara said had to be guarded.

It had taken some time for Catherine to get her thoughts under control again. Emily had quietly been drinking her milk like this was a normal occurrence. Lindsey had been following the pacing brunette with her eyes. Nobody had made a sound while the older CSI tried to get herself together. Sara had been afraid this would ruin what they had barely started and didn't know what to say.

Catherine didn't get the chance to ask the brunette anything. As the older CSI opened her mouth, Lindsey jumped in.

"Wow Sara, you have a tattoo!"

Catherine looked from the older girl to the brunette and furrowed her forehead in confusion.

"Mom, look on her foot."

That was when the older woman noticed Sara had bare feet and as Lindsey pointed out on the right there was a tattoo.

Sara smiled shyly at the two Willows' and without prompting lifted her pant leg slightly to show all of it.

The design was stars, circles and lines combined. Stretching from the right side a third of the shin up almost to her toes. Sara had gotten it in college as a part of finding herself.

The commotion over the tattoo had Emily giggling. If they where this shocked over 'one' tattoo the young blonde could just imagine what the reaction would be if the strawberry blondes saw the other tattoos her mama had.

The joyful sound of Emily giggling had Sara beaming at the young girl. "What are you giggling about, you giggle monster?"

The brunette laughed as she grabbed the young blonde and tickled her.

_Sara looks so free, like I have never seen, and all because this young girl, Emily, laughed. I would love to be the one to cause such radiant beauty in her. _

"You win…" Emily tried hard not to laugh. "Please mama, you win." Though Sara had stopped the tickle torture, the young blonde had a hard time stop laughing.

"Mrs. Wilows looked funny when she saw your tattoo and that was only one of them." The blonde girl couldn't keep it bottled up anymore and her laughter brought smiles to both adults' faces.

_What? Sara has more than one tattoo. There is more to her than I ever thought. I hope this will only be the start of what I'm privileged enough to be shown. _

"More than one. Can I see them?"

The young strawberry blonde looked at the brunette with pleading eyes.

"That's not a good idea, Linds." Sara hated to crush the hope of any child, but it was worse when it was Lindsey.

"But Emily has seen them." Lindsey was pulling out all the stops to get the brunette to show her tattoos. The older girl knew it wouldn't be long before her mom wouldn't let her get away with more.

"Yeah, but Em is my daughter, and I lived with her mom."

You could see the wheels turning in those blue eyes. "Does that mean if you live with my mom I get to see them too?"

Sara didn't know what to say and was imitating a fish out of water. Catherine could see how uncomfortable this line of questioning was to the brunette. Stifling a laugh the older woman was quick to step in before Lindsey took too many liberties.

"Lindsey!" That was more than enough to make Lindsey take a second look at Sara and the older girl was quick to apologize. Catherine hadn't even needed to raise her voice. Lindsey didn't want the younger CSI angry with her.

To lighten the mood, because it looked like Sara was stuck in her own thoughts, Catherine turned to the young blonde. "Emily would you do me the honor of showing me around?"

The younger girl looked to Sara for acceptance before turning back to the older Willows. "Yes Mrs. Willows."

"You can call me Catherine, sweetheart."

Before following Emily into the hall, Catherine whispered to the brunette, causing goose bumps along Sara spine. "You know you walked right into that one, Sidle."

Sara's eyes popped open. _Catherine didn't sound anything like she usually does. In fact it sounded more like she was flirting with me. _

Nothing had been spared on the tour of the apartment. Emily had shown Catherine everything. Where the washer and dryer were. The inside of the blonde's closet. The older CSI had stopped the young girl from showing the contents of Sara's closet, by distracting Emily.

Catherine knew the brunette would be horrified if the strawberry blonde looked in there. Closets were a very personal place and Catherine didn't wish to invade Sara's sense of privacy.

Dinner had gone great. The cooking skills of the brunette had surprised Catherine. The older woman had always had Sara pegged as a takeout kind of girl.

They hadn't had any meat, but an abundance of vegetables. That was not much of a surprise, as Catherine knew the younger CSI had turned to vegetarianism long ago. No the surprise had been her daughter's reaction. There had been no complaining what so ever from Lindsey about having to eat vegetables.

Sara had, had both of the girls helping with desert. Emily had been so excited about all the fruit and helping to cut the melon. It had rubbed off on the older girl. Lindsey had never been one for fruit. Especially not when used for desert without anything containing sugar. But apparently Sara and Emily had changed Lindsey's mind.

The two girls had been talking up a storm during the meal. Catherine had won the young blonde's approval during the tour of the home. It was like Emily had forgotten all the bad things, if just for the night. Much to the delight of the brunette.

Sara and the older woman hadn't had much chance to talk about Samantha or Emily during the meal. Catherine had loved the time together and didn't want the night to end. But Lindsey was getting tired and Emily could barely keep her eyes open. The young child definitely didn't want to go to bed. And Catherine could see that Emily wouldn't be easy to tuck in if Lindsey and her were still there.

Not wanting to leave but not wanting to make it hard on either Sara or Emily, Catherine was about to tell Lindsey they had to leave. The older CSI didn't feel like there was much of a choice.

The brunette could see the other woman was about to go home. Sara had loved seeing Emily smile and laugh and didn't particularly want the night to end. It had been nice; it had felt like family.

"You could stay."

Catherine looked at the brunette as she was some kind of alien.

"We haven't had much of a chance to talk so you could stay the night." Sara elaborated on her previous statement. Hoping the older woman wouldn't run at the suggestion.

"Lindsey can use the guestroom and you can have my bed."

"Oh mom, please can we stay?"

Sara was afraid Catherine would turn her down as the strawberry blonde didn't respond.

_Maybe she thinks I meant we would share my bed and that I'll come on to her. _

"It's no trouble. I'll sleep with Emily, or on the couch. And I just changed my bedding today so it's all clean." Sara was getting frantic and trying to talk the older woman into staying. But the brunette was only resulting in rambling. Sara didn't know the reason for Catherine's lack of answer and was convinced it could only be bad.

"Sara, honey I don't doubt your bedroom is anything but clean. But I can't take your bed."

It wasn't the clear no Sara had expected, but it wasn't a yes either. And before Sara could come up with another reason for the Willows' to stay, Emily sealed the deal.

"Yeah mama, sleep in my bed, please."

"See this way everybody's happy, Cat."

The older woman had a hard time declining the brunette's offer. With blue and green eyes looking pleadingly at her. Combine that with the hope in Sara's brown ones, Catherine didn't have any option but to stay.

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Told you I would update this soon, but on that note I'll have to say that the next chapter won't be coming that soon. I have some ideas but am having trouble puting them into words. Hopefully the inspiration will come and you won't be left hanging for too long. ; )


	17. Chapter 17

**I'm sorry for the long delay in updates, but I've had trouble finding the time and inspiration to write. And as if that wasn't bad enough my beta has this funny notion that she wants to have a life as well. The next chapter should hopefully not take this long.  
Thanks for the reviews, it's always a great feeling seeing that there are someone enjoying my writing.**

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**Chapter 17

Catherine had tried hard to keep her curiosity in check. But it was proving to be harder than the strawberry blonde had predicted. She had, however, been able to curb her curiosity for some time before the older CSI gave in.

That was how Sara found Catherine, looking at all the paintings and pictures decorating the brunette's living room walls. What particularly caught Catherine's attention was a large photo hanging in the room.

"That one was taken about six months ago, last time I was in San Francisco." Sara's silent and sudden appearance paired with the brunette's quiet response to an unspoken question scared Catherine out of her thoughts.

Jumping slightly before turning around Catherine replied, "Don't sneak up on me like that, honey." The smile in Catherine's voice left no doubt that the older CSI wasn't angry.

The photo showed Samantha and Sara hugging a laughing Emily. The brunette had rebuild her friendship with Sam, and the two looked as close as ever in that picture. Catherine suspected that the blonde and brunette in the photo were more than friends. Maybe Sara wasn't ready to tell her, but the older woman's certainty didn't require the brunette to speak.

What Catherine didn't know was that shortly before that picture was taken Samantha had found a new girlfriend. The two of them had even started talking about living together when Sam was killed. It hadn't stopped Sara and Sam from being friends. In fact it had made their friendship stronger not having to worry about romantic feelings from their past getting in the way.

Sara was procrastinating starting a conversation that the brunette didn't know how to have, especially with Catherine. How do you tell someone you known for four years everything you have fought so hard to keep private? Especially when Sara had been attracted to the older woman for longer than the brunette was willing to admit.

Starting the coffee maker served two purposes. It stalled for time, and Sara knew they would need the caffeine if she was to tell Catherine the majority of her story tonight.

Sara was amazed at the strawberry blonde's patience. It wasn't like anything the brunette had expected. This was new territory. They had gotten along and they had both been able to keep their tempers in check. But this moment had another feeling attached to it.

"I don't know where to start." Sara was saying as she came back into the living room with two cups of coffee.

"Why don't you start with something you're comfortable telling me." Catherine suggested. The older woman was itching to bombard the brunette with questions she wanted answers to; however the strawberry blonde was going to let Sara decide what to say and when. It became easier to curb her questions as Catherine could see how nervous it made Sara to talk about something this personal.

It was harder than the brunette had anticipated, telling Catherine about Sam, not only because the woman had died, but because the brunette was exposing herself to the older woman. It was difficult explaining, but that wasn't as difficult for Sara as she had thought it would be. Instead the brunette was shocked by the relieving sensation she felt about reveling the truth. Even more surprising, to Sara, was that Catherine's reaction hadn't instantly been to get up and leave when she was fed up with her impatience. The brunette contributed that to Lindsey sleeping in the next room.

The older woman didn't have to be good at reading people to see Sara's anxiety after the brunette told her about Sam and their life in San Francisco. No; Catherine could see as clear as day that Sara expected the blonde to hate her. Catherine suspected that the younger woman had been burned in the past, and was getting ready for yet another person to give up on her.

"I'm not like everyone else." Catherine spoke quietly as she gathered the brunette in a hug. "I know I haven't been giving you reasons to trust me, but I want to change that." The older woman pulled out of the embrace enough to look Sara in the eyes. Catherine waited, wanting to make sure she had the brunette's full attention, before continuing. "It doesn't change who you are. You're still the same fiercely stubborn, amazing CSI you were yesterday." Catherine refused to let go of the younger woman as she spoke. The blonde's action meant more to Sara than any word the other woman could have ever said.

It was different to be within Catherine's arms. Sara felt a sense of safety like she could not recall ever experiencing before. Not even Sam had made Sara feel as secure as she felt in that moment with Catherine. It might feel new and comforting, but Sara was certain that the older woman never could be more than her friend. The brunette was willing to settle for that though. Sara had seen the compassion Catherine showed the guys. Even Grissom was on the receiving end of Catherine's compassion and friendliness. And if the older woman saw it fit to include her, Sara wouldn't complain. The brunette would do everything in her power not to ruin a good thing, even if that meant giving up the idea of a relationship with Catherine.

Catherine was reluctant to let go of the brunette. But the older CSI couldn't keep the younger woman locked in her embrace forever. Although the prospect of that caused the edges of the strawberry blonde's lips to curl.

Talking had never come easily to the brunette. So it was a surprise to Sara, how they could go from one topic to another without any awkward silences. Having someone willing to listen who actually understood the strains work could have on you, was new to Sara. There were topics neither of them brought up as if on agreement. Catherine might have expected the brunette's sexuality, but that didn't mean Sara was ready to divulge her deepest secrets of her past and childhood.

Catherine herself had some things in her past that she wasn't all that proud of. Now wasn't the time to reveal all of their secrets just as they were finding their footing in this new friendship, and admitting to things in her past would only reveal Catherine's feelings for the brunette.

To tell the truth Catherine had only started admitting these emotions to herself, and the older woman wasn't ready to vocalize them. That would somehow morph the truth into a reality that Catherine was not yet ready to face. Nancy had been asking all sorts of questions about Sara, since meeting the brunette. Lately it had gotten Catherine thinking. The CSI had admitted to her sister that there might be more to her fights with Sara, but not yet what that meant. After tonight, Catherine really didn't have any doubts about her attraction to the brunette. Nor could she deny that she had been flirting with Sara. The problem with that, was that Catherine wasn't positive that the brunette had noticed. The older woman didn't want to risk coming off as slutty and was therefore reluctant to make her intent more obvious.

To the shock of both CSIs they turned out to have more to talk about than either had expected. It helped that they could talk about Lindsey and Emily for hours. That was exactly what they did. Which was why, when Sara noticed the older woman yawning for the third time, the brunette discovered that it was almost 4 am. They had been talking all night, and Sara knew it wouldn't be long before Emily would be up and full of energy.

Catherine felt guilty for taking the younger woman's bed, and was trying to talk Sara into using her own bed, when they were getting ready to go to sleep. The brunette was adamant about letting the older woman use her bed. That was when Catherine changed tactic. Now the strawberry blonde tried to convince Sara that the bed was big enough for the both of them, adding what Sara thought was a flirty smile. "I don't bite, unless you ask nicely."

For the second time that night Sara was left flabbergasted and looked like a fish out of water.

Catherine decided the argument was over and went to use the bathroom before bed. Leaving the brunette to wonder where she went wrong. How was she supposed to get any sleep in the same bed as Catherine? Sara was certain she would have to stay awake to keep from embarrassing herself, and scaring Catherine off. What if she ended up spooning the older woman? That would be a disaster. The brunette would have no way of explaining the situation, but her doubts were too late because Catherine was on her way to the bed.

Sara spent longer in the bathroom than necessary, or usual. Dreading, yet at the same time exited about sharing her bed with Catherine. If only she could make up her mind; happy or anxious. Maybe she could just wait until Catherine fell asleep, and go sleep in Emily's bed.

Catherine hadn't gotten into bed by the time Sara re-entered the room. It wasn't clear which side the brunette preferred, and the older woman didn't want to start off by taking Sara's side of the bed.

"Which side's yours?" Catherine couldn't entirely keep from staring at the brunette. Luckily it was dark enough for Sara not to notice the slight blush on the strawberry blonde's checks. It wasn't that Catherine could see more of the brunette than she regularly saw at work. It was the relaxed expression Sara wore, as the younger woman was clearly ready for bed, that had Catherine mesmerized.

"Err… the middle." Sara looked sheepishly at Catherine as to apologize for her strange behavior. Truth was, that it had been so long since the brunette had, had a regular sleeping partner, that Sara had become accustomed to having the bed to herself. Even if it was a king size.

Catherine couldn't, nor would she, keep the chuckle from bubbling out, "Good, then you won't mind me using the right side."

The expression on Sara's face made it hard for the older woman to keep her laughter in check, and soon Catherine's chuckles turned to full out laughter. This was all very therapeutic and Sara couldn't stop from joining in.

Catherine had successfully lifted the tension in Sara, and the brunette felt free to kid around. "You'll have to watch out. I tend to gravitate toward the middle and lie diagonally." Catherine was positively surprised when the younger CSI not only laughed with her, but also joked about sleeping habits.

"That will be perfectly fine as long as you don't mind me hogging the covers."

"I hog the bed and you hog the covers. Yeah I think that's a fair trade."

Having broken the ice and laughed together, Sara had no trouble getting into bed on the opposite side of Catherine. After lying down beside the other woman, it dawned on the brunette that she was in bed with Catherine. That was when Sara stiffened. It didn't matter that there was enough room between them to fit an adult in the space. Sara inched closer to the edge, hoping Catherine wouldn't notice.  
The strawberry blonde, however, noticed the second Sara became insecure once more. Leaning over the empty space between them, Catherine kissed the younger CSI on the check; lingering for longer than necessary. "Night Sar, I had a wonderful time." Refusing to give in to the awkwardness that was oozing from Sara, the older woman tried to make herself comfortable while waiting for the brunette to regain the power of speech.

They had fallen asleep soon after saying goodnight. It hadn't made a difference that Sara had intended to move to Emily's room. The comfort of her own bed and that of Catherine's slow breathing, had lulled the brunette right to sleep. Both women were correct about their sleeping habits. It hadn't taken long before the strawberry blonde had started moving the covers toward herself. Sara not wanting to let go of the warmth had followed, and Catherine unwilling to sleep on the edge of the bed and had settled quite comfortably in the middle of the right side of the bed.

After some time the older woman had most of the covers curled up on her right side. Sara, trying to stay under what little part of the covers that remained free of the blonde's grasp, was close to Catherine's left side. This in turn had caused the brunette to move onto the right half of the bed. Catherine feeling the heat radiating from the body next to her turned and cuddled closer to Sara. The body heat of the brunette helped keep the always cold Catherine comfortably warm in her sleep. Of course with the help of most of the covers. Sara was also kept a nice warm by the older woman's body heat. Especially when Catherine ended up stealing all of the covers.


	18. Chapter 18

Much faster this time, but unfortunately I don't know when I can get the next chapter up.  
Thanks for the reviews I'm almost at 100, yeah me. It's amazing to see all the hits that I get on this story so thank you.  
Thanks to cathandsaraforever55 for doing the beta thing.

**Chapter 18**

That was how Emily found the two women when the young girl woke up. It wasn't until the blonde had seen Catherine in the bed that she had remembered they still had guests. Giggling Emily went over to what had been Sara's side of the bed when the two CSI's had gone to bed. The young blonde climbed up to join the adults for a morning cuddle. That the two CSI's were lying close and wrapped up in each other didn't bother Emily in the slightest. This was how her mom and girlfriend used to sleep, so to Emily there was nothing new or unusual about it.

Doing as had been a tradition for Sunday mornings; Emily snuggled down in between the sleeping women. Waking them in the process. Sara, used to the blonde's weekend ritual, kissed Emily's cheek before speaking. "Morning sweetie, you sleep okay?"

Catherine on the other hand was rather shocked at finding Emily snuggled in next to her. That didn't improve when the older woman noticed that Sara was lying snuggled up to the other side of the girl.  
Almost falling out of bed in her hurry to get up, Catherine had a panicked expression in her eyes. It wasn't something Emily noticed, but the brunette saw it before the strawberry blonde could hide the feeling.

"Morning Catherine, sometimes I have to pee really bad when I wake up too," Emily stated, misunderstanding the CSI's hurried exit from the bed, as a sign that the older woman needed to use the bathroom.

Not sure her mind worked let alone communicated with her mouth, Catherine was quick to agree with the girl. Escaping to the bathroom would be a good thing right about now. The older woman gathered her clothes and rushed to the bathroom leaving Sara and Emily to enjoy their Sunday morning cuddle.

Hiding out in the bathroom wasn't the brightest idea Catherine had ever had, but at the moment she didn't know what else to do. She didn't understand why Sara wasn't freaking out. The brunette had been terrified to get into bed with her and now the younger woman was fine with the fact that their proximity had practically molded them into one person.

Sara was actually worried, she just didn't have the luxury of hiding. The brunette was more worried about Catherine's reaction, than the fact that they had slept intertwined. It was the best night's sleep she had, had in some time, and she didn't want to question the reason why.

"What are we doing today, mama?" The girl was hoping she would get to spend the day with Lindsey and Catherine.

"Why don't we sleep some more." Sara couldn't help the laughter that bubbled over at the pout the blonde was showing her. It clearly showed that Emily wasn't all that happy with the idea of sleeping. But what 6 year old would be?

The sound of a laughing Sara was enough to cause Emily to laugh too. It had been some time since the two of them had stayed in bed laughing like this. It was a good healing experience for the both of them.

The noise from the bedroom had Lindsey coming to see what was happening, and soon all three of them were lying on the bed telling jokes and laughing. That was the way Catherine found them, when she finally risked venturing out of the bathroom. She watched the three of them having fun for some time before she let them know she was there.

The older woman was glad it was Emily that found her and Sara in bed together and not Lindsey. The strawberry blonde would have liked to have stayed wrapped up around the other woman. It had been the best sleep she had gotten in a long time. But that wasn't something that Catherine was ready to admit.

"It looks like you're having a great time." Seeing the smiles directed at her, when they noticed Catherine's presence, was having the opposite effect on her than Lindsey's happiness usually had. It was adding to the overall queasiness she was experiencing. The mere presence of Sara was making the older woman uncomfortable for reasons she refused to acknowledge. She didn't want to disappoint Lindsey, but Catherine needed to get out of Sara's home.

"Come on Linds, time to get dressed. We have already taken up too much of Sara and Emily's time." Catherine knew she had interrupted some joke she hadn't heard.

"Arh mom, we haven't even had breakfast yet. Can't we stay longer?" Looking pleadingly at her mother didn't seem to work. Lindsey turned her best puppy dog eyes and pout loose on Sara. The brunette never stood a chance.

"Don't look at me like that shorty, it's not my decision."

"But does that mean we can stay for breakfast?" Lindsey wasn't ready to give up. This was going to be one of those times where Catherine would lose no matter what she did. Not only that, but if they left, Lindsey would most likely not talk to her anytime soon. The older woman had found that out the hard way; her daughter was just a stubborn if not more than herself.

Sara chose to give the two Willows' time to sort it out, without the audience. Getting up the brunette got some clothes and grabbed Emily. Slipping out of her bedroom without notice. "Squirt we're doing this a little differently today."

"How mama?" Emily wasn't mad merely curious. They had a routine for weekends and rarely deviated from that routine.

"We'll get dressed before breakfast; that means after you get clothes on you get to watch cartoons while I shower."

The young blonde got Sara's thinking expression on her face as she tried to think things over. "What 'bout Catherine and Lindsey, are they staying for breakfast?"

That wasn't what the brunette had expected. Sara had thought that Emily would have asked about why they did things differently today. "I don't know sweetie. But that doesn't mean we can't have a great day together."

Emily was dressed in no time. It never was all that hard to get into a pair of jeans and a tank top, though with the cast on her left arm it did give more trouble than normally. When the young blonde was comfortably situated in front of the TV, Sara headed for the bathroom to get ready for the day. Walking past her bedroom the brunette was glad that she thought to take her clothes with her. The two Willows' women could be heard even through the closed door. And neither sounded particularly happy.

It wasn't that Catherine couldn't see why her daughter was angry. Lindsey wanted to stay. The girl had a point, there really was no reason for them to leave before breakfast, it wasn't as if Sara had thrown them out. The brunette had invited them to stay the night, and would have thought that included breakfast. No the problem was Catherine. She knew that, but she wasn't ready to admit that she wanted to stay more than anything; however that didn't change how scared she felt because of it.

As usual, when the older CSI got emotionally involved she freaked and then hid; with her head in the sand. It wasn't the best or most constructive way, Catherine was very much aware of that. But it was a way that worked, if you didn't let yourself get close to anyone you didn't get your heart broken. It had worked with Eddie, at least for Catherine, but not for her daughter. Catherine didn't know why, but she was scared of needing someone and would rather leave now then to become further involved with Sara, and to have the brunette break her heart. It wasn't only lovers that Catherine chose to keep at arm's length, it was everybody in her life. Even Nancy to some extent. The only person she didn't try to stay away from was Lindsey, but that apparently wasn't working. Her daughter had on several occasions told Catherine that the CSI loved her work more than her own flesh and blood.

Lindsey's final argument was fitting, in some ways. "You'll leave then, but I'm staying with Sara." With that the young Willows' stormed out of the room, refusing to acknowledge Catherine, and slammed the door as a goodbye.

Sara had just exited the bathroom when the furious Lindsey slammed the door. "It can't be all that bad, I'm sure the door didn't mean it that way."

Lindsey looked up at the brunette's voice and threw herself into Sara's arms. "She hates me, it's never what I would like, but always 'bout her."

"Oh shorty, your mom loves you more than anything in the world." Holding the girl close, trying to communicate her conviction about Catherine's feelings, without saying anything else. Sara knew it wouldn't help if she continued with this topic, right now Lindsey was convinced that her mother hated her. Sara informing her differently would only cause more the young Willows pain. "Let's go join Em, and see what we can do about something to eat. With all this excitement this morning I'm starving."

Drying the tears of Lindsey's cheeks, the brunette steered the girl toward the living room and Emily. Giving Catherine the chance to compose herself after hearing what Lindsey had said. That would be hard on anybody, and the strawberry blonde would need some time before joining them.

"Em what should we make for breakfast this lovely Sunday?" Lindsey and the brunette slumped down beside the young girl on the couch. "Uh uh, cheese omelet and, and some of those sausages."

The excitement in the young blonde's voice was impossible to miss, but Lindsey didn't know why the girl got this exited about an omelet.

"Err… what about pancakes?"

"You silly, pancakes are only for special days." Emily giggled at Lindsey.

"How is Lindsey to know that squirt, she hasn't had breakfast with us before."

That stopped Emily's giggles, she knew her mama's tone of voice. "I didn't mean to laugh at you, sorry."  
Lindsey didn't exactly understand why you couldn't have pancakes, it was a Sunday after all. _Maybe it has something to do with why we had fruit for dessert last night._ Giving up on that thought, she remembered that Emily had said sausages, but Sara didn't eat meat.

"I like sausages, but I didn't think you ate meat, Sara?"

It was Emily that was fastest to answer, "It's not really sausages, but they taste like them they're just not meat."

The expression on the young girl's face turned serious as she tried to understand the concept of faux meat. Even though Emily had heard about it before, it had Sara chuckling as the brunette went into the kitchen.

"Em you get the eggs and Linds you'll get the sausages, they're in the freezer, and I'll find the pan and mixing bowl."

By having Lindsey help with the cooking the brunette was distracting the strawberry blonde from her conversation with Catherine. Giving both Willows time to cool off. It also served another purpose, this way Lindsey would get some food, which could only help with the girl's temper.

The girls took turn whisking the eggs into a fluffy mass while Sara grated the cheese. Lindsey helped with making the omelet and heating the sausages while Emily went to the fridge. The young blonde was looking to see if there were any strawberries left from last night. Fruit was a thing Emily could always have, and the blonde especially loved strawberries. It was rare that they had any for long.

Sara was hoping that by the time breakfast was ready Catherine would have decided to join them. When that wasn't the case, the brunette went to find the older woman, when the girls were busy eating.

Stepping into her bedroom, Sara found the strawberry blonde sitting on the bed lost in thought. "She knows you love her. She's just confused and knows this will get your attention."

"Huh," Catherine only noticed the other woman as the brunette sat down beside her. "Oh Sara, I didn't mean to cause you this trouble. We'll get out of here."

"Err… I wasn't meaning for you to leave." Sara didn't follow the older woman's thinking. _What had gotten Catherine to think that she wanted them to leave?_

Catherine was having a hard time denying the feelings being this close to the brunette brought up. It definitely didn't help clear her mind. The older woman was startled when she suddenly felt Sara's arm around her back pulling her into a sideways hug.

"… Everything will work out. Lindsey is a good kid; you have done great with her." Catherine hadn't heard all of what the brunette had been saying. What little she had caught had made her relax further into the embrace. Sara had taken that as a sign that the strawberry blonde finally believed her and continued talking. It wasn't as much what the brunette was saying as it was the comfort of being held by Sara that had Catherine relaxing.

"Come join us for breakfast. Everything looks better with a full stomach." Catherine would have agreed to anything at this point, and it was no problem for the brunette to get the older woman to follow her.

Catherine wasn't sure when that had started, but one way or another that was how it had ended up being. Catherine never felt the need or want to agree or follow somebody. So why she so willingly wanted to do what Sara suggested was confusing to say the least. But after this morning that was a minor detail that for once didn't matter all that much. The strawberry blonde didn't want to dwell on any of her problems. It had been a long time since she felt like this. Maybe it wasn't so bad to go along with what the brunette suggested.

When the two women walked into the kitchen they found the girls talking. Apparently Emily and Lindsey were so caught up in their talk, that they had forgotten about their breakfast. The subject of what Cam was to draw next on Emily's cast had the two girls in lively discussion. The young Willows had been fascinated by the dragon and that had started the conversation. The girls were consumed by their talk and didn't notice Sara walking up behind Emily. Until the brunette stole a strawberry of the young blonde's plate.

"Hey mama that's mine."

"You weren't eating, so I might as well enjoy it." Sara winked at the older CSI and proceeded to ready a plate for each of them. "Em, what are the plans for today?"

Sara looked more relaxed than the strawberry blonde had ever seen. This was a new side of Sara and Catherine didn't want to go back to the old one.

"Lindsey's gonna sign my cast and maybe Catherine would too. Can we go to Cam's so she can do the next drawing?"

"Is that all?" The amusement was clear in Sara's voice.

"Maybe the park, oh and can Lindsey stay?"

During all this the young Willows had been quietly eating. Lindsey didn't know what her mom would allow. Or even if she was in a good mood. The older girl thought it better to keep a low profile as not to provoke another yelling match with her mom.

"Cam is busy and doesn't have time for us today. The park would be a great idea. And about Lindsey staying, it's not up to me, but her and Catherine are welcome to stay."

Catherine couldn't quite get used to the ease with which Sara deal with everything Emily. When she thought about it, it shouldn't have surprised her. The brunette had always been great with Lindsey. Even the children they dealt with at work, Sara seemed to have a bond with. But she, like the rest of the graveyard shift had come to believe what the younger woman said about not being good with kids.

After being hugged by Sara all her reservations had been temporally forgotten. It wasn't that Catherine's issues had been resolved. She had stopped over thinking and was just enjoying the time she was spending with the brunette.

After a successful breakfast Emily charmed Catherine in to agreeing to stay. The older woman was finding it hard to say no to the young blonde. Catherine found it adorable that Emily was like a blonde mini version of Sara. Not only the way she dressed but also in the little things the girl did.

The Willows had ended up staying until it was absolutely necessary for Catherine to get Lindsey to Nancy's before she had to be at work.

Before they left Emily was trying hard to weasel a promise out of the older CSI for another day she could spend with the Willows. It didn't take long for Catherine to give in to the pleading green eyes directed her way. It worked even better than Lindsey looking at her that way. It didn't occur to Emily to ask Sara.  


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Please let me know what you think. Reviews brightens my day.

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	19. Chapter 19

I know it's been forever since I updated this story, but I've some chapters written and will be updating them even though my beta can't seem to find the time to do the beta thing, so I hope the mistakes aren't too bad. I'll be updating the chapters I already have and will be trying to finish the story, I do know where I want to take them, but it has been difficult to find the right words and the time to actually write.  
I'm not sure if anybody still want's to read this but here's the next chapter.

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Chapter 19

Getting Emily enrolled in school proved to be the easiest thing that Sara had to do that week. They had met with the principal in the morning and he had showed them around. After talking for some time, he had taken them to see the kindergarten. Emily had liked the teacher but had stayed unusually quiet during the time they spent in the school. Sara had thought the teacher looked too young to be teaching, but the kids in the class seemed to respect her.

After spending time at the school, they headed for DCSF. Sara wanted to get everything sorted out as soon as possible.

Talking to Margrethe had been harder than the brunette expected. The older woman had several questions for both Emily and Sara. Making the CSI even more nervous in the process. Sara feared that Margrethe would decide that Emily would be better off not staying with her. If that wasn't bad enough, Emily didn't react al that well to meting the older woman.

Emily's good mood and behavior over the weekend had lulled Sara into believing that the blonde was doing fine. Not long after they stepped into the DCSF building Emily had started acting out.

Sara had expected some kind of reaction from the girl. After all she had seen Lindsey after Eddie died. Even now Lindsey still had her moments, and still got in the occasional fight at school. But Sara hadn't seen other reactions from Emily besides the clinginess in the days right after Samantha's death. Emily being rude or ignoring Margrethe, when the older woman spoke to her, took Sara by surprise. Emily had always been polite. It had been one thing Sam had deemed as important.

It wasn't until they had been to the school that it dawned on Emily that she wasn't just visiting Sara, but it was happening for real. It all became too much for the young girl to handle. Getting angry was the only way she knew to react. That was why Sara was so surprised. In the brunette's experience Emily wasn't one for anger. Whenever Sara was with the girl, Emily was if not always happy than at least easy to get a smile from. What the CSI had forgotten to consider was she hadn't seen the girl on a daily basis the last four years.

Margrethe on the other hand knew from experience that there would be some sort of reaction. And it wasn't a surprise that the anger was directed at her, and not Sara. The older woman was glad that Emily took her anger out on her. Emily needed Sara and if the girl was angry at the brunette, it would make everything more complicated.

Margrethe didn't want to drag this meeting out more than necessary, and didn't keep them long. But before Sara and Emily could leave they set up an appointment for the older woman to see Sara's apartment.

Sara had thought that they could look at options for Emily, for when she was at work. But with what happened at DCSF, Sara didn't think this was a good time. Sara could put off finding a baby sitter for a little time, but she wasn't sure how long Grissom would allow her time off. The supervisor had called several times already to get her to come back to work.

Apparently it hadn't been well received by Eckie or the higher ups, that Sara took time off to get everything settled with Emily. It wasn't so much that the Sheriff minded as long as the lab worked and he didn't get bad press. For some reason though, he did listen to Ecklie. The lab supervisor had for some time been telling everybody who would listen, that Sara was a liability to the lab and would someday do something that would ruin that lab's credibility. Ecklie could be very convincing when he wanted to, and the subject of Sara Sidle was one he put a lot of effort into.

He saw an opportunity with Sara asking for a family leave, which put the brunette's orientation out in the open. He was pushing for Emily coming to live with Sara, wouldn't be recognized as a family emergency. Sara therefore shouldn't be allowed the time off. That Grissom had granted it, Ecklie was trying to spin that in his favor too. That way he might be able to get rid of both of them, or at least make it harder for Grissom.

After Sara had, had a week off, the lab supervisor had managed to convince the Sheriff that it was inappropriate for Sara to get family time when it wasn't the brunette's child. If it hadn't been for Grissom, Sara would have been called back to work much sooner. It didn't matter to Ecklie that Sara had more than enough vacation days to take at least a month off.

Emily had been quiet on the drive home. Sara hadn't been able to get the blonde to say anything, or even react to some of the jokes that usually had both of them laughing. It hadn't gotten much better when they came home. Emily didn't talk, and she stayed close to the brunette. Not straying far from Sara for the rest of the day.

Nothing seemed to work, and Sara became more nervous as the day progressed. She didn't know what to say or do to make it better. It had Sara doubting her ability to take care of Emily. Sara was scared that when Margrethe came for a check up, the older woman would decide that she wasn't fit to take care of a child and take Emily away.

The afternoon had been difficult and like previous times when Emily was upset, the blonde didn't have any appetite. That day had been worse than Sara had ever seen before. Even right after Samantha's death the young girl had not reacted this violently. The little food Emily had managed to eat had caused the blonde to throw up. The first time it happened had changed Sara. The brunette had been doubtful of her parenting abilities, but seeing Emily so upset that it made the girl sick, somehow made Sara forget every insecurity she had. At least for a little while. It didn't mean that the brunette all of a sudden knew what to do, but it was easier to focus on Emily instead of her own contradictoring thoughts.

Emily had been sick several times during the day, even though she hadn't attempted to eat anything other than a little dry toast. It wasn't that the blonde was really sick, but the realization of having lost her mother made her upset.

Throwing up only resulted in upsetting the young girl even more. At one point it got so bad that Emily was sobbing and dry heaving while Sara desperately tried to comfort her. Emily didn't know why she was upset or how to stop. All the blonde knew was that she was upset. Sara didn't know what to say to make it even remotely better, so Sara just cradled the girl in her arms and softly hummed. Sara might not know what to do, but despite that, she managed to do what Emily needed.

In times that Sara needed it the most, she instinctively knew what to do. It wasn't anything Sara was conscious of, and she wouldn't have believed it if anybody pointed it out. In fact she wasn't even aware that it was the right thing or that it helped. It was as with everything else in Sara's life, she never did believe that she was good at anything, besides being a CSI. That was the one thing in her life that the brunette believed she could actually do well, without it being some sort of accident or plain luck. As with a lot of what her parents had told her, Sara believed that she was no good and that she was nothing. Her parents had left her with physical scars, but Sara had more trouble overcoming the psychological scars, and was still struggling with the lack of confidence they had left her with.

Sara had sat on the tile floor with the blonde in her lap all the while Emily was sobbing and dry heaving. The floor was cold and uncomfortable, but it wasn't something the CSI noticed until she had to get up. After sitting in the same position for more than an hour with the extra weight of Emily, though slight, had put both of Sara's legs to sleep by that time Sara was certain that it would be safe to move to a more comfortable place.

They had ended up spending the rest of the day in Sara's bed watching movies and just being together. The brunette had gotten some of the girl's favorite movies during the last two years to have some entertainment for when Emily visited. Several DVD's had been added to the collection when Emily had brought her things to live there. Sara had chosen to take most of the blonde's DVD's with them instead of having them shipped. A decision the CSI was very glad about now that they had watched three Disney films in a row.

It wasn't something the brunette would have pictured herself doing before she had meet Sam. That had changed after the first day the brunette had spent with Emily. Now, it was one of Sara's favorite times. Though there were some movies that Emily wanted to watch all the time, that Sara would rather not see again. This was one of the few times where Sara didn't mind as the repetition seemed to have a calming effect on Emily.

By night time the CSI had managed to get Emily to relax enough so that the blonde could stomach eating a little. But Emily was still refusing to let Sara leave her even for a short time. That had given some less amusing moments when the brunette had to use the bathroom. Even in sleep the blonde had a firm grip on Sara, not giving the CSI any opportunities to move. Forcing Sara to remain in the bed. Emily's grip loosened some during the evening and night, but she never let the brunette go entirely. That didn't leave many options for Sara. The CSI had tried a couple of times to get up without disturbing the sleeping girl and it had only resulted in Emily whimpering and tightening her grip.

It wasn't long after Sara was sure the blonde was asleep and wouldn't wake with the smallest sound or movement that she panicked once more. Being stuck in one place, forced Sara to think of other ways to deal with the panic than her usual flight reaction. She wasn't thinking straight and was having a hard time finding a solution. The brunette didn't notice when her thoughts started to drift to time spend with Catherine. Sara knew the strawberry blonde was good with people, especially kids, but she was still surprised at how well Emily had taken to the older woman. Emily was nowhere near as shy as Sara, but by no means as out going as Lindsey. Emily wasn't usually this open when meeting new people. But with Catherine and Lindsey it had been as if Emily had known them for a long time.

Without being aware of it, Sara had picked up her cell phone and dialed Catherine's number.

Sara didn't notice what she was doing before she heard Catherine's usual greeting. Startled out of her musings, she was at a loss for words. She was hardly able to stutter out a greeting. Her brain was having a hard time trying to catch up after being ripped from pleasant thoughts about the older woman.

When the silence continued Catherine used a moment to check who she was supposed to be talking to. Seeing Sara's name on the display she became nervous of the silence.

"Sara honey, is something wrong?"

When Sara didn't immediately answer or said anything at all Catherine jumped to the conclusion that something had happened to Emily. The silence was scaring the strawberry blonde more than she would have thought was possible with anything concerning Sara.

"Did something happen to Emily? Are you at the hospital? Stay where you are, I'll be right there."

Catherine would have kept going and rushed out of the lab with no thought to the location of the brunette, if Sara hadn't found her voice and finally spoken.

"We're at home." Sara wasn't sure what had happened. She couldn't remember having called the older woman. The concern clearly shown in Catherine's voice further confused the younger CSI.

"Umm okay."

There was an uncomfortable silence when both women didn't know what to say. When it became apparent that the brunette wasn't about to say something, anytime soon Catherine knew she would have to. Other wise they would be on the phone all night. And with the way the night was progressing Catherine really didn't have the time. She had a case with a ton of evidence that needed processing.

As it was, she had left Greg in the layout room for a short coffee run. The young lab rat was eager to learn, but she wasn't much for leaving him alone to process her evidence.

Grissom had decided, since Sara wasn't working for an unknown period, to continue Greg's education.

The spiky haired blonde would occasionally get to help the other CSIs. But not in the same extent as when Sara was working. Greg would only get to help on small parts of the cases. If Greg could have chosen, he would have preferred to follow one case from beginning to end, the way Sara would usually do. Of course there were times when that wasn't doable, but Sara's way of teaching were more about the process of combining the clues to get to the truth. That didn't mean that he didn't need to know how to process the evidence correctly. So far the other CSIs had only allowed him to work with the mindless parts of their investigations.

"Um, Sara not that I don't want to talk to you, but why did you call?"

"I don't know. I'll let you get back to work." Sara was sure the older woman was trying to nicely get rid of her.

The brunette had spent her whole life hiding her emotions, and for the most part she was unreadable to the people around her. For some reason it didn't work all that well with Catherine. At least not recently. The strawberry blonde had no trouble hearing the conflicting emotions in the younger woman's voice.

"I'm not trying to get rid of you honey, but you have to say what's wrong if I'm to help you."

Sara couldn't explain why she felt safe enough to let Catherine in, but for once she wasn't going to fight the feeling.

"I don't know what happened, everything was going okay. Then all of a sudden Emily's not talking. After we got home she's refused to let me go. And if that wasn't bad enough she spent a good chunk of the day throwing up. I don't know what I'm doing. What if I can't do this Cat?"

When she had started, Sara didn't seem to be able to stop talking.

Catherine had a hard time suppressing a smile at the brunette's rambling. It was rare that Sara talked freely about anything related to her private life. The fact that the younger woman entrusted her with something as personal as self-doubt had Catherine feeling... Yeah, she didn't know what she was feeling, but it was good. It didn't matter that Catherine was the one of them that had the most experience in dealing with her feelings. The strawberry blonde was refusing to acknowledge what she subconsciously knew.

It had been easier for Sara to acknowledge her attraction to the older woman. Not that the brunette hadn't fought against the feelings, but she had, had longer to come to terms with the attraction to a coworker.

Whereas Catherine hadn't noticed anything special about the brunette, until Sara had started helping Lindsey. It was as if she hadn't seen Sara all these years. Now that she did she liked what she saw. This indecision and shyness was a new feeling for Catherine. She had always known what she wanted, and never shied away from getting it. She didn't know why this time was any different.

"Sara, sweetie, you gotta relax. How is Emily doing?"

"She finally fell asleep some time ago."

The panic was slowly slipping back in, no matter how calming an effect hearing Catherine's voice was. The helplessness reminded Sara of her parents, and her desire to be nothing like them.

"I know you can do this, and it's a good thing that she's sleeping."

Catherine didn't get a change to continue as she was interrupted by Greg looking for her. Holding up one finger as to let the young man know she would need another minute. Catherine continued her conversation with Sara.

"I'm sorry, but I have to run. Greg is getting impatient and I don't want him goofing around too much."

Catherine hoped this was said in a way that wouldn't get the brunette angry at her. It was meant to inject some lightness into Sara's already dark mood.

"If you'll like, I can come by after I've taken Linds to school."

Sara had been able to find some inner peace after talking with Catherine. The prospect of Catherine coming by in the morning was comforting.


	20. Chapter 20

I guess you're still reading, thanks for the reviews always a great motivator.  


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Chapter 20

Greg had been a help, and had even managed to surprise Catherine with his questions and theories. With practice and the right teacher he showed the potential of becoming a great CSI. The strawberry blonde guessed he had found the right teacher in Sara, because the brunette's way of working was beginning to show in Greg.

Catherine hadn't been thrilled when Grissom had assigned Greg to her case. That was the night shift supervisor's not so subtle way of telling Catherine that it was her turn teaching the DNA tech. Grissom knew that if he came out and said it, he would have more trouble resisting the strawberry blonde's anger.

When he forced her into something he knew she didn't particularly like, Gil usually did so by sending a text message. Then avoided Catherine until he was sure he wouldn't get his head bit off. He knew it was the coward ways out, but he had never been one for confrontations. Whereas he knew Catherine sometimes thrived on discussions and arguments.

It wasn't that Catherine hated teaching. Once she got into it she rather enjoyed her time with Greg. Catherine didn't know why she disliked teaching so much. It wasn't something that she wanted to dwell on and guessed it just wasn't her thing. She knew that giving your time and expertise to those CSIs with less experience was a part of the job, and Catherine was okay with that. But it didn't mean that she had to like it.

Catherine and everybody else in the lab, had heard about Ecklie wanting to suspend Sara's time off, and demand the brunette came back to work. So what she didn't understand was, why Gil was in such a hurry to have someone else take over on Greg's training. It wasn't that the young man could devote all his time as a CSI, since Grissom hadn't been able to find a replacement for the DNA lab.

She wasn't even sure if Gil thought of it as important enough to actually spend time on finding someone with the know-how and personality to fit in with the nightshift. Greg had been showing some real potential, and Catherine thought she might help Grissom finding the lab rat's replacement. There was no way Ecklie would find someone she would enjoy working with, but the lab director would be forced to approve their suggestion, if the credentials were in order, even if he didn't like the person.

As it turned out, thoughts of Emily and Sara had proved to be more distracting than Catherine had anticipated. That in turn made the night seem to drag by.

It had been Catherine's luck that no new more pressing case had come in. With her lack of concentration she would never had been able to focus. Working with Greg though had been a help in keeping her attention on the case, with all the questions he asked.

The distracting thoughts of, what Catherine had convince herself was of Emily, wasn't enough to keep her from doing her job properly. But it did make it slow work to go through the various processes.

Even though Catherine was good at concealing her inner turmoil, after spending most of the night working in close contact with her, Greg couldn't help but notice that Catherine was more lost in thought than normal.

As Greg had picked up on Catherine's state of mind, he had made a game of seeing how long it would take Catherine to answer his questions.

By the time that shift was over, Catherine felt like she had been working a double or maybe even a triple. Not in the sense that she was asleep on her feet, but as in the shift had taken longer than it usual felt like. In fact, Catherine actually left the lab earlier than was normal for any of the night shift CSIs. Giving her time to have breakfast with Lindsey before taking the girl to school. It was a rare and special treat to get to spend the morning with her daughter.

Lindsey wasn't the best at getting up in the mornings, especially on schooldays. But after the girl was awake and dressed she was bubbling and high spirited. Just the thing to make any kind of day better for Catherine. It didn't matter how tired she was, a dose of Lindsey in the mornings with the happy chatter the girl usually tried to engage Catherine in, had a rejuvenating effect.

Lindsey had been in a much better mood than the CSI had come to expect, and Catherine got to hear everything that was going on in the young girl's life. The topic of Sara, especially the brunette's mystical tattoos seemed to have caught Lindsey's interest. The girl also talked about the one she had gotten to see, but it was the fact that Emily knew of more, that Sara didn't want to show the Willows', that had captured to young girl's main interest. Not to say that it hadn't crossed Catherine's mind, she had just chosen not to mention her curiosity to anybody, especially her daughter.

Before Catherine had left for work last night, Lindsey had suggested they spend time with Emily and Sara. The way Lindsey had been talking about the younger girl, left no doubt that Lindsey was hoping Emily would tell her something about the hidden tattoos.

That Lindsey wanted to see Emily again spoke well for Catherine keeping her promise to the younger girl. Not that the CSI had planned on going back on a promise to a child, especially Emily now that the girl had lost her mother.

Spending time with Lindsey had been just what Catherine needed to get her mind off of Sara and Emily. And with that came her ability to focus on the now again. Giving her the opportunity to have uninterrupted time with Lindsey. Time that had been rare for a long time.

It wasn't usual that Catherine took Lindsey out for breakfast on a weekday. Going out to eat in the morning usually meant that Lindsey ended up persuading Catherine to buy some sugary kind of food. That always left Lindsey in a sugar rush. It wasn't so bad on the weekends when they could spend some of the excess energy and Catherine could make sure Lindsey got something to counter the worst of the sugar crash. But on weekdays Lindsey would have to sit still and pay attention in class with no possibility of burning off the extra energy. Resulting in a poor performance and an inability to sit still for more than 10 minutes at a time. Not something Catherine wanted to subject either Lindsey or her teachers to. That meant that she would either have to give up on going out to eat or she would have to be strong enough to say no. Not one of Catherine's strong suits when it came to her daughter. Maybe this would be the day where she could prove past experiences wrong. That was at least what she was hoping for.

Catherine would have to admit that her intention of not feeding Lindsey any sugar hadn't gone entirely like planned. Lindsey had spent years perfecting her pleading eyes and pout, and in the last couple of years she had gotten increasingly better at sweet talking. Not only her mom but also her aunt Nancy.

For once it didn't take long to reach a compromise that didn't end in one or both of them angry. Catherine was hoping this wold prove to be a regular thing, that they could get along. The way it had been before Eddie's death.

Not only had Lindsey refrained from making a big deal about the choice of food, but she had also immediately after they ordered started chatting about friends and school. They had both been reluctant to leave the diner, and Lindsey had been cutting it close in regards to getting to school on time, again. Catherine had readily agreed to spending the afternoon and evening with her daughter.

Being with her daughter had kept Catherine's thoughts from straying to Sara. The minute she had dropped Lindsey off at school, there was nothing left to distract her.

Catherine didn't remember driving to Sara's apartment. She had been in such a hurry to reach the brunette, but now that she was there Catherine couldn't seem to find the motor skills to walk up to the door.

She really had to snap out of it. This was the second time in very little time that she wasn't sure how she got from one place to another. She wouldn't be any help to Sara if she was this distracted. The trouble was that she had no idea how to focus on any one thing at the moment. None of that mattered, because Sara had sounded like she needed help. And Catherine wanted to help make everything better. She just wasn't sure how or what she could do.

Sara hadn't gotten all that much sleep. She was used to Emily usual sleep pattern. The girl had always moved a lot in sleep. But it had been worse than ever. Emily had been sleeping fitfully all night. That hadn't been what had kept the brunette awake as much as the kicking and hitting that Emily's moving had resulted in. And when she had tried to move away from the young blonde Emily had become visible more upset. She wasn't sure how, but thankful that she had managed to keep the girl from waking. But it had cost Sara the opportunity of more than a few short moments of sleep.

The night had only become more complicated by the fact that Sara couldn't shut her mind off. She was petrified of making mistakes with Emily.

Sara had hoped that even the disturbed sleep Emily had gotten would have helped the girl. The brunette knew that a nights sleep didn't solve everything. Buy she also knew that sleep did help when you were trying to process what had happened around you. Not that it was anything she had ever mastered. Sleep had always been rare and much of her life Sara hadn't gotten nearly enough sleep. With time her body had adjusted and she had convinced herself that she just needed less sleep than everyone else. Though there were times where she crashes and slept for more than 12 hours at a time.

She had actually been surprised when Emily hadn't woken up, even when Sara was sure the girl had nightmares. She had never been able to sleep after a nightmare herself or even through one. The main reason for her lack of sleep, but Sara was glad that that hadn't happened with Emily. At least not that night.

Knowing better didn't keep Sara from hoping. But she knew from experiences that just because she wanted something to happen it rarely if ever meant that it actually did. In fact it very rarely did.

In the morning Emily still refused to talk or let Sara out of sight, or let alone let go of the brunette's hand. Sara hated that everything always ended up so screwed up. All her life she had tried to be normal, to fit in. There had been a few times in her life that she had thought she had found it. But each time something had happened, and she had been alone once more. Every way she could possible ruin Emily's life had flashed through her mind during the night. The possibilities only getting worse as the night wore on. By the time Emily was waking up, Sara had started to fear she would wreck the young girl's life. Like her parents had screwed her up.

It didn't help when Emily wouldn't let her mama out of sight. The only positive thing was that the blonde actually ate a little. It wasn't much, a bite here and there, but it was a start. A good beginning in getting Sara to believe she wouldn't be a terrible parent. The thought that Catherine would come by, and in Sara's mind fix things with her mere presence, was another calming factor.


	21. Chapter 21

**Chapter 21**

The sound of knocking was a great relief for Sara. She was desperately hoping that Catherine would know what to do.

Emily's reaction to the knock was nowhere close to relief. She thought that the person knocking was there to take her away, just as Mrs. Sorenson had done. Emily was having a hard time understanding what was happening around her. It was all very confusing. She was sure her mom would never come back. Now she was scared that Sara would leave and never come back or even worse someone would take her away. Emily was convinced that this person on the other side of the door would take her away from Sara.

"Hey honey, let's go let Catherine in." Sara picked up the young girl, before she headed to the door.

Emily wanted to believe her mama, but she couldn't take the risk of it being someone to take her away. She held on even tighter. Arms wrapped around Sara's neck and legs locked around the brunette's waist. Mostly she just wanted to run and hide.

Sara didn't have the chance to say a word after she had opened the door.

"Catherine..." Emily yelled as soon as she saw it was Catherine and not some monster. Flinging her little body into the unsuspecting arms of the startled strawberry blonde. "You came back."

Though surprised by the young girl throwing herself at her, Catherine managed to catch Emily and hoisted the girl into her arms, so they could look into each others eyes.

"I promised we would see each other, sweetheart. And I always keep my promises."

Sara didn't have any other option than to close the door and follow Catherine and Emily into the living room. She didn't know what to do or where to go. This was one more thing she felt she was failing at. Not like Catherine, who had no trouble keeping up a light chatter as the older woman moved to the couch with Emily.

"What's this I hear sweetie, you giving your mama trouble?"

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After her conversation with Sara, Catherine hadn't expected the welcome Emily had given her. Though Emily had talked a little, the girl had clung to her in a way Catherine hadn't experienced, since she had pulled Lindsey out of the car.

Catherine didn't get an answer, but she was granted a small smile by the girl. By the look on Sara's face, the brunette wouldn't be all that much help in trying to figure out what was going on with Emily. Sara was looking more lost and like a young child than Emily at the moment.

"I'm hearing you're not eating. What happened to eating more than Linds the other night."

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Sara was amazed at how easily Catherine managed to keep the tone light even when the strawberry blonde was trying to get Emily to talk about what had happened to cause so much turmoil in the young girl.

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Catherine knew better than to expect Emily to be able to express what was wrong. She suspected that the girl hardly knew what all the emotions running wild in her small body were.

There was no sight of Emily saying what was wrong, but thoughts were flying through the girl's head. The different emotions showing clearly in the young blonde's green eyes.

Instead of pressuring Emily to explain what the girl didn't understand, Catherine chose another direction.

"Why don't we get you dressed, than we can decide what to do today."

The suggestion that she would be staying for more than a short visit got some energy and life back in Emily's eyes. The reaction in Sara was different to say the least. The brunette was shuffling her feet. Catherine was sure that if given the opportunity Sara would have her hands stuffed into her pockets.

It had been some time since she had last seen Sara so nervous. Catherine was finding it hard to keep a smile of her face at the sight of a so clearly nervous Sara. She was finding Sara's shuffling oddly fascinating and couldn't keep her eyes of the younger woman. The hard part was the conflicting feelings. Part of her felt guilty for wanting to look and grin at the cuteness of a nervous Sara. But the other part wanted to freeze the image.

She did manage to direct the smile at Emily before Sara noticed she had been staring.

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Much to Catherine's surprise, Emily had almost no pink clothes. Not like Lindsey at that age, where everything had to be pink, or even now her not so little girl had more pink than Emily.

She had noticed that the style of Emily's room was much like the rest of Sara's apartment. What she hadn't noticed was that the girl's clothes was much like Sara's, though there was a greater range of colors than she had ever seen the brunette wear.

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They found Sara where they had left her. "Look's like your mama fell asleep standing up."

"No silly, mama's not sleeping, her eyes are open."

Emily giggled, that more than hearing the voices, was what pulled Sara out of her private world.

"She sure looks like it standing like that still in her pajamas. Do you think she want's to go back to sleep, while we go have fun?"

Emily couldn't stop giggling at what she believed was silliness on Catherine's part.

Sara was a little baffled by the conversation she happened to find herself in the middle of. It made no sense, but Sara was willing to overlook that with Emily enjoying herself. Anything that at this point made the young blonde sound happy was okay with Sara. The problem was that she felt bad for not being the one who put the smile on her girl's face, she just didn't know how.

Seeing how Catherine could draw Emily out of her silence, just like that. When Sara had been trying to find a way and coming up empty. It gave her a strange sense of calm, knowing that if she couldn't help, at least she had called someone who could. Sara had never liked not being in control or not knowing what to do or what would happen. Just another reminder of a childhood, where she had never been in control and never knew what would happen.

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"Do you think we should send your mama to get dressed or should we just leave her here when we go to the park?"

"Mama, hurry up." Emily was bouncing in place, finding it difficult to keep from hurrying her mama along. That never had the desired effect. Usually all it accomplished was that it took her mama longer to get ready. It wasn't that Sara deliberately dragged her feet. Even when Sara tried to hurry there was a subconscious pull that meant no matter what she tried it only made her slower. Sara was just about the only one that didn't know about it. Everybody close to her knew. Emily knew and had experienced it several times, though most of them the young girl couldn't remember.

Knowing that hurrying Sara didn't give the desired result, didn't mean that Emily could contain her impatience. The young blonde hardly ever could, but that was a great part of why Sara fell even more in love with the small girl every time she saw Emily.

"Erm, okay. I'll be quick, but I have to shower."

"Yeah, I know, but please..."

The pleading look in Emily's eyes, only added to the confusion in Catherine's. Not wanting to start interrogating her colleague at this moment, Catherine chose to try to distract Emily.

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Sara did try to be quick, but the thoughts running rampant in her mind wasn't helping matters. She got lost in thought in the middle of washing her hair. It wasn't until Catherine called out to her through the bathroom door that Sara remembered where she was and what she was doing. After that wakeup call it wasn't a problem to finish quickly, when her thoughts had stopped running wild.

Sara was amazed at how easily Catherine had gotten Emily to talk, when she hadn't been able to the young girl to say one word since they left ACS. Sara knew getting Emily to talk was a step in the right direction. Though it would by far solve everything, but a start nonetheless.

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Catherine was a big help in cheering both Emily and Sara up. A short trip to a nearby park, getting some air and moving around was just the right thing for getting Sara to loosen up. Catherine suspected that was a big part of the brunette's problem.

In the time Catherine had known her, the brunette had always been a thinker. That was a great trait when working as a CSI, but it rarely helped anything or anyone when dealing with children. Thinking rationally would only leave Sara more confused, as no child Catherine knew would be remotely close to what passed as Sara's logic. Actually she had never met anyone the brunette's logic fitted, besides Sara herself. That was what made Sara such a great CSI.

Catherine believed that once Sara stopped over thinking everything, and gave herself the chance to relax in her own skin, she would be a great parent.

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The time they spent at the playground gave Sara the opportunity to leave her problems behind, if only for a short time. It was a rare moment when the brunette let her inner child get a small glimpse of the world.

The trouble was that Sara had never had much time before her innocence was torn away. Changing the young girl's outlook on life for always. Everything she saw on a daily basis at work, had only made Sara more jaded. Sara had since her early childhood had difficulties letting anyone in long enough to let them see her vulnerable side, or that she wasn't always strong and capable. She had learned early on that anything that could be viewed as a weakness was punished. And not only at home.

Not being as everyone else, or what someone decided was normal, was also seen as a weakness. There came the first problem, her parents opinion and that of the children she went to school with, didn't compare. That meant Sara never fit in either place, no matter how hard she tried. She wasn't very old before she gave up on trying to fit in, in school. At least there the worst that happened was that she was ridiculed, but for the most part of her school life she was ignored and left alone. It was much worse when she happened to be the wrong child at home. It didn't take much longer for the young Sara to give up trying to be the perfect child at home either. No matter how hard she tried, it was never enough or the criteria had changed.

Because of her experiences in life, Sara didn't know how to interacting with people most of the time. It never came natural, and she had, had to fight hard to get to where she was now. The few real friends she did have, had all fought hard to get through the hard shell the brunette put up to protect herself from the world. It always took time, but if you were let inside, there wasn't anything Sara wouldn't do. People rarely took the time or put in the effort to get to that point. Sara had become harder to crack with every friend or lover that had betrayed her trust. Every time she put her walls up higher and thicker than before.

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Catherine was hoping that once they got back to the apartment, Sara would keep the lightness she could see glimpses of when the brunette was swinging or going down the slide with Emily.


	22. Chapter 22

I'm trying to finish this story and have some chapters and are writing more. I'll upload chapters as I finish them.

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Chapter 22

Two days after Catherine had taken Emily and Sara to the park and spent the day showing Sara that the brunette could be a parent, Grissom called revoking Sara's time off. The supervisor had been able to hold from calling for the last two days, but Ecklie had told Grissom he would order Sara back to work if Grissom didn't do it.

Grissom had expected anger and sarcasm, and even to some extent some yelling from the brunette. He hadn't expected the anger to come from Catherine. No matter how many times he had tried to explain that he had no choice in the matter, Gil hadn't been able to get Catherine to agree or even stop the yelling. It hadn't gotten better when Sara had to show up at the start of shift. Again it had been Catherine that had shown the most anger, and Sara had just looked resigned.

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Sara hadn't known how to react to the call, the only good thing was that she at least didn't have to be at work that night. It had seemed unreal at the time of the call. It wasn't like this surprised her, Gil had been trying to persuade her to come back to work, for days now, and Sara knew that there had to be something other than the night shift being one CSI short. Sara would have liked to have more time getting Emily used to living in Las Vegas, and have found a babysitter for when she had to work. But that wasn't the case and this wasn't the first time things didn't go her way, and it most likely wouldn't be the last either. It was the way of her life, and Sara expected things to go wrong when she was able to find something good. That was the way her life had always been.

That day Emily and Sara had spent with not only Catherine, but also later with Lindsey, had helped them both. The day had given Sara the courage and support she needed to stop doubting everything. Emily got what she needed to come out of her shell and started talking to her mama again. It didn't mean that both of them didn't have any more problems, but it did give them a good starting point. And Catherine believed that given the opportunity, Sara would be a great parent. The brunette just needed to believe in herself, and having Emily talking to Sara again went a long way in establishing that belief once more.

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Finding someone willing to babysit Emily when she had to work wasn't easy. And finding someone that Sara was willing to trust Emily with, was even harder. Only having a day didn't improve matters. But that wasn't the worst part, that was explaining to Emily that she would have to spend the nights with someone the girl didn't know, because she had to go to work. Sara wasn't sure how Catherine could make working night shift and taking care of Lindsey work.

What saved Sara was when Nancy called to offer her help till Sara could find someone else.

Nancy had heard from Catherine that Sara had to go back to work. She didn't think one more child would be the end of the world. As Nancy put it when Sara had tried to talk her out of the offer. What persuaded Sara in the end was that Emily already knew Nancy, and Lindsey would be there. Emily's new hero.

Nancy normally wouldn't have offered to one of Catherine's coworkers, but after Sara had started spending time with Lindsey, Nancy had seen more of the shy brunette. Nancy now considered Sara a friend, and she didn't miss a change to invite the brunette in for coffee and talk, whenever Sara came to pick up or drop of Lindsey.

The first night Emily was to spend at Nancy, she had been exited about the sleepover. That held until it was time for bed, by that time the novelty had worn off, and Emily wanted to go home.

Sara had had to spend an hour at Nancy's to calm Emily enough for the girl to be able to sleep. That had been the first night of many that Sara had left work to go talk to Emily. After two weeks of doing that every night, Emily was satisfied with talking to Sara on the phone.

Sara was relieved that, after the first week, Nancy had suggested Emily stay with her, instead of Sara trying to find another babysitter.

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Normally Sara loved her job, but after she had been forced back to work, it hadn't been the same. She hadn't been able to put her finger on what was wrong, it was just a feeling. It didn't help that Emily wasn't comfortable with Sara working nights.

It worked in Sara's favor that she didn't need much sleep, as Emily needed entertainment during the days, not giving Sara much opportunity for sleep.

Even though the other CSI's were supportive and willingly helped out when Sara needed to go see Emily, they couldn't keep Sara's absence, during the night, from being noticed. The trouble started when Ecklie somehow found out.

Grissom called Sara into his office to talk to the brunette about what he saw as the trouble with her leaving the lab during shift. Gil, as always, wasn't so smooth in expressing what he wanted to say. He ended up saying some not so well received things about Emily. He had ended with asking if Sara thought it was a good idea for her to get custody of the young child. He hadn't even remembered Emily's name. That had been the last thing for Sara to get angry. It wasn't that bad, she raised her voice and told Grissom some truth. Raising your voice at Gil never had the effect you wanted in the moment. Especially because Grissom kept his calm and quoted something obscure.

Grissom never mentioned anything about Ecklie and Sara didn't find out about the Lab Director knowing about her absence for some time.

It was after that conversation with Grissom, Sara started noticing what was wrong.

Sara's requests for nights off were being ignored, and her schedule didn't at any time during the next month give her, the earlier dreaded, two nights off in a row. She would have been ecstatic about that before Emily came to live with her. It took some time before Sara noticed the pattern and even longer for the other CSIs to notice it as well. They usually didn't keep track of each others shift schedule.

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After Sara had come back to work, it had been hard to spend time with anybody, but Emily. Her nights off never coincided with Catherine's or weekends. Effectively isolating Sara.

It was the smaller day to day things Sara noticed first. Getting the simplest and most disgusting cases. Or when working as a part of a larger team, she got the routine assignments. It wasn't that Sara minded doing any parts of a investigation, but she enjoyed the more challenging cases more. And then there was Greg's training. Most of it had been given to the other CSIs. Again it worked to isolate Sara.

The changes occurred slowly, nobody noticing at first. It wasn't until all Sara seemed to be doing was going through dumpsters, printing hotel rooms or processing decomp sites.

Not only would Sara spend most nights working alone. She also smelled most of the time and spent a lot of time showering. Thereby extending the time she had to stay at the lab.

This all continued through the summer, making Sara's working conditions worse with every week. By the time the summer vacation for Emily was ending, coming to work was feeling more like a chore than what Sara had loved doing.

Sara had on several occasions tried to talk to Grissom, but he had avoided talking about her complains of her working conditions.

Sara didn't have much time to dwell on work. All the time she had was spent with Emily. The girl was getting settled in, though she still wasn't happy about Sara being gone at night.

Sara had found a school for Emily. Though the girl was scared and didn't want to start in a new class, it helped that some of the children from the summer camp, Emily was going to during the summer, was going to start in the same first grade.

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As Emily was improving, Sara's work life was becoming worse. It even felt like the other CSIs were withdrawing from her. When actually it was Sara that didn't have the time or wasn't in the same place as the others at work. Sara saw less of them than usual and wasn't sure of why. It was getting worse than when she had first come to Vegas. Then she had had no friends in town or at work. Now she didn't have time for any of them. Cam was the only friend that didn't care or even mind when Sara withdrew, she just kept coming around and offered her help with anything Sara might need. The only positive part of Sara's life was Emily and Cam.

Cam would do small things that would make everyday life easier for Sara and Emily, such as doing their shopping, but Cam also took them out of the house almost every time Sara had a night off, no matter what day of the week. The advantage of working for yourself.

What seemed like endless nights of work and an active almost first grader, was draining Sara's energy. It was true that Sara usually didn't need much sleep, but that was mostly because her body had gotten used to what little amount her nightmares allowed. Though, there were times where Sara slept for most of 24 hours. Trouble at work and the added responsibility of Emily, had not helped Sara's insomnia tendencies.


	23. Chapter 23

Chapter 23

After Ecklie had ordered Sara back to work, the Lab Director had seen this as his chance to get rid of Sara. He knew that it wasn't a possibility to fire the CSI. He still hadn't found that one thing or mistake that would make that an option. That was the reason he was trying to encourage the CSI to quit. He didn't do it openly, but it had it's advantages being Lab Director. Everything had to go through him. It hadn't been easy to get an unnoticeable influence on Grissom's team. Even though Ecklie had loathed the slowness of getting his plan realized, it worked out better that way than he had anticipated. It hadn't looked as suspicious. The hardest part had been Grissom, the night shift supervisor had come to him with some concerns. Ecklie had been able to talk his way around the real subject, and after that Ecklie implied that some changes had had to be made, and that it was out of his hands.

If Grissom had bothered to know anything about the lab politics and the Under Sherif's authority, he would have known that Ecklie had the final say in how budget cuts were to be carried out. Ecklie wasn't sure why Grissom had so easily been dismissed on the subject of one of his CSIs. But he didn't care why Gil was willing to leave his protege hanging. It wasn't the Grissom, Ecklie was used to, but he didn't intend question a good thing.

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It had taken some time for Catherine to notice Sara's downward spiral. First noticing that Sara seemed to work every night, but had at first put it up to Sara coping with being a new mother. At first Catherine gave Sara some time to work out her own problems. She started noticing the cases Sara was put on were the ones they all tried to avoid. They all worked them occasionally, but usually it got changed around, so it wasn't just one of them.

That was what started Catherine looking back through the past months cases and schedules. This was one of those times were being Grissom's second came in handy. Catherine had access to things she otherwise wouldn't have. Once she started looking into things, Catherine quickly found the pattern she had started to suspect.

Catherine's first reaction was to go tear Grissom's head off. She managed to at least stall herself for the time being. She knew it was a bad idea to talk to anyone when she was that angry, except maybe a suspect.

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Catherine's encounter with Grissom at the end of shift, had gone better than she had expected. At least she didn't get fired, though Gil hadn't looked pleased by the time Catherine left his office.

Gil hadn't denied the accusations Catherine had thrown at him. She hadn't expected much, Grissom wasn't much for explaining when it wasn't something about evidence.

When Gil had refused to answer or say anything, Catherine had said some things she had regretted the moment the words left her mouth. Hurrying out of the building to keep from saying more. There was a limit to what Grissom would let slide, even if she was his friend.

Besides Catherine would rather talk to Sara than to Gil after what he had let go on, or worse done. That was easier said than done. Catherine couldn't find Sara in the lab. When she thought about it, she had hardly seen the brunette in the last month. She had even forgotten their breakfast 'dates' since Emily had come to Vegas. She didn't know why she had let a time she looked forward to go and hadn't thought more about it.

Catherine knew Lindsey's Saturdays with Sara hadn't been possible for some time, due to Sara's work schedule. Lindsey wasn't as understanding after the first two Saturdays Sara had cancelled.

Now that Catherine finally had her eyes opened to Sara's problem, the trouble was to figure out how she could help her friend. Catherine knew that being a CSI was a large part of who Sara was. Work was the one thing that Sara was always confident about. So with everything that was happening in the brunette's private life, Catherine knew that what was going on at work would only add to the stress Sara was bound to be feeling already.

Catherine didn't know how to help, but she had some ideas as how to make it better at work. She might get problems with Gil, but Catherine was good at getting around him if need be. She had no doubt both Warrick and Nick would help out, and Greg adored Sara, and was a close friend of the brunette's, so the lab rat would be in no matter what. Catherine thought that Greg might be a good source on information on how to help Sara.

Catherine knew very little about Sara and even less about Sara's past. They hadn't been friends for long and they both liked keeping their private life just that, private. Most of what she knew about Sara's personal life, Catherine had found out through Lindsey and Emily. And that hadn't been Sara's choice.

Catherine tried to find Sara, but the brunette had left while she had been in with Gil. Instead of risk waking Sara from what little sleep she knew the brunette probably got having a 6 year old, Catherine decided to start with Warrick and Nick. She didn't mind possibly waking them.

Warrick and Nick was easier to find then Sara. They hadn't been in a hurry going home, and were still in the break room discussing where to go for breakfast. Catherine didn't have to ask them to join her when she stepped into the room, Warrick was quick to include her in their breakfast plans.

By the time they had their food, Catherine still didn't know how to broach the subject of Sara. Not finding the right words had never been one of her problems. Being frustrated with this inability to just say what she wanted, was making Catherine act more somber and quiet than usual when with the guys.

It didn't lessen the conversation around the table, but both Warrick and Nick had noticed the change. Both waiting to mention anything, hoping the other would say something first.

When the waitress had left them with their food, Warrick didn't want to drag his feet any longer.

"Okay Cath, spill it."

When Catherine didn't seem to be coming up with an answer anytime soon Warrick continued. "You jumped at our invitation for breakfast, you only do that when you have something on your mind, Cath. So out with it."

"You noticed!" Catherine knew she was still trying to stall for more time.

Warrick didn't bother with a verbal response, but he did send her a look that said everything he wanted.

"Either of you noticed something different the last couple of months?"

Catherine still didn't quiet know what to say. Getting the guys to look closer at their memories would make it possible for Catherine to only have to guide the trip down memory lane, instead of having to be the one talking.

It took some time before Warrick and Nick started to put together what Catherine was getting at.

They were both embarrassed when they became a where of how little they noticed Sara. Especially Nick when he found that he had hardly talked to Sara since the forced change in the woman's life.

He more than Warrick considered himself a friend of the brunette. Nick found he hadn't bothered to offer his time in any way Sara might need it. He had been so caught up in his own life, that he hadn't noticed his friend struggling, not only personally but also professionally. The latter surprised him more.

The Sara he knew had always been secure in her work life. What hit him hardest was that he hadn't even meet Emily. He wasn't surprised that Sara hadn't brought the young girl to work, but that he hadn't done anything to meet Sara's daughter bothered him.

Warrick had never been close to Sara, but he still considered her a friend. They hadn't got the best start to their acquaintance. That along with Catherine's animosity toward Sara hadn't helped matters. Catherine had been a great friend and mentor to him. With the two women's clashing he hadn't done much to get to know Sara outside work, or even been eager to get to know the CSI. Now he couldn't remember his reasons for ignoring a friend that in hindsight was so obviously struggling with the one thing Sara had always been confident, being a CSI.

Now that both guys saw the same thing as she did, Catherine wanted them to focus on finding someway to help Sara. Instead of continuing down the road of self blame that they were on.

They couldn't come up with a solution to everything. And as the morning dragged on their idea's became less feasible. Before they left to get some sleep, they did agree that Sara wouldn't admit she had a problem and ask for help. Also that as a start they would try to move shifts so Sara could get at least 2 nights off in a row. Something they all needed occasionally to be able to deal with what they saw.

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"Hey Sara, wait up." Nick was running to catch up with the brunette as Sara was about to get into her car.

"Can't it wait Nick? I have to get home."

Sara wasn't in the mood to talk to anybody. She was late getting out of the lab, after another long and lonely night. Her mind and body was exhausted after months of too little sleep, and no real promise of being able to catch up any time soon.

"It'll only take a minute. I just wanted to ask about switching shifts."

This was the first time in a while Nick got a good look at Sara. It only confirmed his wish to help his friend.

"I don't have that many nights off, so it'll probably be better to ask someone else."

Sara wasn't trying to blow him off, but she needed to get home before she fell asleep. And with the one night maybe two a week Sara got off, she really didn't have much in the way of taking one of Nick's shifts on her off nights.

Sara hadn't stopped when Nick called out to her, and was at her car just about to get in when Nick caught up with her.

"That's fine, I was hooping to pick up some extra shifts. I'm going all out on the anniversary, Shauna deserves it for putting up with me for the last year. So I need some extra cash."

Nick knew he had to be quick if he was to make their plan of getting Sara some more nights off.

"If you don't mind, I'll take some of your shifts, give you some time with your kid."

He hoped that last part would sell the idea to Sara.

Sara wasn't short on money, that had never been a reason for her longer than most hours every months. And with so little time off work, she hadn't had much time to use the money she earned. Most of her paycheck had been set a side every month since she moved to Vegas. Even before that Sara had always reserved part of her paycheck for savings.

Her number of shifts each month had been a choice on Sara's part when she first started in Las Vegas. And now that she wanted to decrease her hours it was harder than expected, actually nothing had happened even though she had asked several times.

So letting Nick have some of her shifts was sounding like a great idea.

Normally Sara would have teased Nick before agreeing, but she was too exhausted.

"That's fine Nick. Which shifts do you want?"

Sara was trying to remember which night she had off, but quickly gave up, the only thing she remembered right now was that she was working again tonight.

Nick knew Sara had Thursday off, because he had checked before running after Sara. Part of their plan was to give the brunette nights off in a row.

"What about Friday and Saturday nights? Shauna's having a girlfriends weekend, so I would just be watching TV anyway."

That wasn't really the case, but it was now. Shauna and him had had plans for both days, but Shauna had been okay with postponing to let Nick help his friend.

"That's fine if I'm working, but I don't remember right now."

Two nights off on a weekend to spend with Emily sounded like heaven.

"I've checked, you're scheduled to be off Thursday, but not Friday or Saturday. So it'll be a long weekend for you."

That Sara didn't remember her schedule at the top of her head, convinced Nick that he was doing the right thing. Sara usually knew the schedule for the entire month.

The exhaustion was clearly visible on Sara's face, now that Nick knew to look, and he would gladly give up weekends to help.

"Thanks Sara, I owe you. You go get some sleep and spend some time with your girl. Maybe we can have a barbecue soon, and I'll get to meet her."


	24. Chapter 24

Chapter 24

The guys might have been right about Sara not asking any of the other CSIs for help, or admitting to them that she was having trouble doing her job. But Sara did admit it to Carolyn.

Carolyn was one of the few people that Sara believed in of the rare person in Sara's life that had never let her down, or given her reason to doubt. Sara rarely trusted, and it was most of the times something she had to decide. Trust was seldom an unconsciously act for Sara.

Carolyn had been in regularly contact with Sara, since Sara had left foster care to go to college. Since Emily had come to Las Vegas, Carolyn had talked almost daily with both Sara and Emily.

Even before Sara had told Carolyn the severity of the problems, Carolyn knew there was something wrong. While Emily had sounded happier, Sara had withdrawn and Carolyn had had trouble getting Sara engaged in a real conversation.

When Sara had finally admitted that something was wrong and that she needed help, Carolyn would have liked to drop everything and go to Vegas to help.

The trouble was that only a month earlier Carolyn had agreed to take in a foster child. She had retired some years ago, and hadn't taken any kids in since then. Her last child had left for college not long after. Carolyn didn't have the same energy as when she had first started as a foster parent. It had been lonely and quiet in the house with no children living there. The first year alone had been the hardest, it helped that she stayed in contact with most of her children after they had left. Most of the children that had come to her, had come after being shuffled around the system and as a last resort came to her. Only a few hadn't stayed until adulthood. Carolyn had had a reputation for being able to help even the most aggressive and lost children to lead successful lives.

To some of those adults she was still family and was treated as such. She had been given the honor of being a grandmother, and she loved the holidays and vacation time she was allowed to spend with her "children" and their families.

After retiring, Carolyn hadn't planned taking on another child. She had been contacted after a young girl had been through more foster families and temporary homes than she was years. DCSF couldn't find any foster family willing to take the girl in, and the last option if Carolyn said no was a guarded homes for older teens.

Carolyn had at first said no to the request, that had changed when the social worker told Sasha's story. It reminded Carolyn of Sara, and Carolyn couldn't turn the girl down.

Having taken Sasha in, meant Carolyn couldn't rush to Vegas when Sara asked for help. She always tried to go to her children whenever they might need help. Though she had to admit that that hadn't been possible all that often before she retired.

When Carolyn couldn't go to Vegas she would just have to talk to Sara more often, to help the closed off woman work through the problem.

Sara knew before she even asked for help that Carolyn couldn't come to Vegas, and Emily and her couldn't go to San Francisco.

But that wasn't why Sara had asked Carolyn for help. Sara knew the older woman could help get things in perspective and make the right decision for not only Emily but also her self.

Sara was at a loss as to what she should do. She loved her job, but it wasn't working now that Emily was living with her. And she hadn't enjoyed coming to work in a long time. Work had become something she had to do.

Then there was the job offers Sara received regularly. She could take one of them, but that would mean they would have to move. And Emily had settled in and was making friends. So Sara didn't feel she could just move to another city and force Emily to have to start over again.

As a start Sara had talked to Carolyn about trying to change her work hours to day time. That would help with Emily's problem of having to spend the night with Nancy. It wasn't that Emily didn't like Nancy, but for the girl to feel safe during the night Emily needed to know Sara was close by. With Sara's hectic work hours as of late that only gave Emily one good nights sleep a week.

After the last few months with a lack of sleep for both of them, it had taken it's toll, and they were both tired most of the time. They had for the last month spend the day after Sara's night off trying to catch up on their sleep.

That was what had gotten Sara to admit she needed help. Now she had admitted that Grissom and work wasn't likely to change. Sara had several times tried to talk to Grissom, to get him to understand the toll work was taking on her and Emily. He had told her some obscure reference before he hurried from the room if he stayed long enough to hear Sara out or even say anything.

Sara knew it wouldn't help to go higher up, since Ecklie had wanted to get rid of Sara for a long time.

With Ecklie as Lab Director, it also meant that moving to dayshift was out of the question. Even though she didn't particularly like the dayshifts CSI's Sara had asked their supervisor of the possibility of changing shifts. He had wanted to think about it, and it took almost a month before Sara got any answer, and that was in the form of a letter.

Sara was disappointed, but not really surprised. But it did limit her choices now that she had narrowed it down to wanting to stay in Las Vegas, with the help of Carolyn. There weren't more than one CSI lab in town, and with the way things were going this was no longer a possibility.

With the discovery that she wouldn't be able to work as a CSI if she wanted to stay in Las Vegas, came a new low for Sara.

It wasn't that she never worked with anything else. Sara had had several different jobs during her time in college. She had liked it the most when she had worked as a mechanic as a part time job during college and 6 months after while she was looking for work.

Sara had no doubt she could find work as a mechanic. But Sara loved being a CSI. Being able to give answers she had never gotten. But not only that, she got to solve different mysteries on a regular basic.

rrrr

Spending time with Emily, just the two of them, without having to worry about getting to work, was a help to both Sara and Emily.

Getting to sleep at home, knowing that her mama was in the next room, meant Emily got three nights of uninterrupted sleep. Combining that with days together, just the two of them, made for a well rested and happy Emily.

The few days with Emily had helped Sara make up her mind. Sara now knew for sure that she wanted a day job, and one with more regular hours, basically she wanted a normal job. Not anything she had ever strived to get, but as a parent she wanted what was best for Emily. To make matters worse was that she had also come to the conclusion that she wanted to stay in Vegas. With Cam and now Nancy she had friends and a support system, something Sara didn't have anywhere else. Besides Emily liked both women. That had been surprising in itself, since Emily usually didn't take to strangers very well.

Sara had finally come to a decision, she believed both of them would be happy with. In Sara's mind coming to the decision had been the hard part, finding work she was sure would be easier.

If nothing else she could always find something temporary. In the last two years she had received several job offers from crime labs, a few universities and even the FBI.

The offers had started after she had started publishing articles and giving lectures at a few criminalistics seminars. She had never considered accepting any of the offers, but had kept in touch with most of the people behind them as well as colleagues she had meet during her career.

Sara had liked to talk to other people in her chosen profession. It was always nice to have someone to exchange ideas with.

All of the job offers had come from other states, so Sara didn't give them much thought at first. Besides her new work criteria didn't exactly fit working as a CSI. Especially because she wanted to stay in Vegas.

The first thing Sara was planning on doing was asking a few of her contacts if they knew of openings in or near Vegas.

There was little over a month left of the summer before Emily started 1st grade. And Sara was planning to find a new job before that. Sara knew it wouldn't be conductive for Emily to be going to school and having to learn if the girl didn't get enough sleep each night. Having to spend the nights at Nancy's made Emily anxious and she was often awoken by nightmares.

Sara wanted to provide Emily with the best conditions to be able to learn, and that wasn't possible if Sara stayed at the crimelab.

rrrrr

Coming to work Sunday night Sara felt better about her decision to resign. It made her steps lighter. Enough so that Nick and Warrick noticed.

"You look good girl." Warrick commented as Sara came into the breakroom to get a cup of coffee before cases were handed out.

"Yeah Sar, looks like these days did you good."

Nick and Warrick started to think that all Sara might have needed was time off to catch up with everything that had happened.

Sara didn't have time to answer, before Grissom came in with assignments breaking up the friendly chatter.

Grissom's presence immediately affected Sara's mood. Before he entered she had been smiling, but as soon as Grissom's voice was heard in the room, that smile disappeared, and if you looked closely you would have seen her eyes dull.

Neither of the boys noticed, they were both too busy looking at each other, happy that their plan had worked. And as they saw it, Sara's problem had been a lack of down time. They both believed they had delivered and all would be back to normal now that Sara had apparently gotten the sleep she had needed. They had come to believe, by their experiences with Sara, that all the brunette needed when down was a couple of days to recharge and sleep. Even with what Catherine had told them, they still found it hard to believe that Grissom would be unprofessional against Sara.

The night had been decent, Sara had gotten to take Greg along to the scene, which had helped on the long travel time to a scene at the farthest end of their district. If for nothing else, Greg was always good entertainment during long car rides.

It was a standard armed robbery, a perfectly fine teaching turned out to be a long night, spent mostly in the car.

rrrr

Getting back late from a crime scene, had left Sara with only a few hours of sleep before she had to pick Emily up from day camp.

Sara had hoped to get to talk to Cam before picking up Emily. But by the time Sara had gotten home and showered, there was only time for three hours of sleep. That was why Emily was the first inside Cam's office.

"Hey Peanut, whatcha doing here? I didn't think I'll get to see you already."

Cam had only managed to stand up before Emily ran into her, giving Cam a tight hug.

"Mama said you'll have dinner with us."

"She did!" Cam smiled at Sara, as the CSI came into her office.

"Uhuu." Was the only answer Cam got from Emily.

"Can I go draw?" Emily loved drawing whenever she was at the garage.

"Sure Em, we'll be right outside. I have to talk to Cam, before we can ask her to join us for dinner."

Part of Emily's fondness for drawing when with Cam was because she could usually charm Cam into helping.

Sara knew this, and was trying to prevent Emily from pouting when Cam joined her outside the office.

"I already asked her Mama."

Cam couldn't keep from laughing at Emily's statement. Not even the stern look from Sara could stop her laughter, but the way Sara said her name did.

"Hey Peanut, if you behave while I talk to your Mama, you can help me choose my next tat."

That got Cam Emily's full attention. "I'll be good."

Emily had seen most of Cam's tattoos, and the girl was fascinated with the subject. So getting a chance to be a part of Cam's next tattoo, Emily would do anything.

Once outside the door, Sara couldn't stop her curiosity. "I didn't know you wanted another tat already."

One look said it all.

"Yeah right, stupid me, it's you, you're always looking for the next tat."

"Right, you know me, if I'm not changing my hair color, I'm getting new decorations. Now what do I owe the pleasure of sharing my dinner with two lovely ladies?"

When Sara didn't say anything, Cam got nervous.

"Did I forget to pick up Peanut? I don't have her in my calendar for today but for tomorrow and Wednesday."

"You didn't forget, I wanted to ask a favor. I don't know how to ask, I don't want to take advantage of our friendship. You've already helped so much with Em."

"No worry Sar, you're done more for me when I was in a bind, so anything you need, just ask."

That didn't make it easier for Sara, she would do just about anything for her friends, but she never expected people to help her. It was hard getting used to having real friends. But Sara was discovering that Cam was a real friend.

"I've decided to hand in my resignation this week. I was hoping you let me pick up some work here. Just till I'll get something permanent."

Sara was quick to add the last part. She didn't want to put her friend out, if there weren't enough work already.

"Sure, you can do that, but I can't promise what I'll have for you. When do you need the work?"

"I'm planning on giving Grissom my two weeks notice during Thursday's shift. So from Friday two weeks."

"Why wait till Thursday?"

Cam could understand Sara wanting to get out of that job, but Cam couldn't understand why Sara was waiting when the decision was already made.

"I have my requalifying for my firearm Thursday afternoon. That's why you're having Em Tuesday and Wednesday, I'm going to the range for practice."

Weapons wasn't Sara's favorite, but after she had chosen to become a CSI she had been serious about her skills with a gun. Sara didn't want to chance not getting requalified if she handed in her resignation before the test. It didn't matter if she was continuing to be a CSI or not. Sara didn't like to let her skills deteriorate.

"Why two days? I know you go to the range regularly during the year, and you've haven't had trouble requalifying in the time I've known you."

That got a slight blush out of Sara.

Cam knew Sara was a good shot, she had seen it a couple of times when she had accompanied the CSI to the range.

"Just wanted to make sure I'm ready this time. I have a bet with Nick, about who get's the best score. We planned to take the requalifying together. Looser pays for dinner."

Cam smiled at the sheepish looking Sara.

"You could've just said that, I'm all for winning a free dinner."

Cam engulfed her friend in a hug. "I'll find you some work to keep you afloat till you find something you love. It's no trouble Sar, you and Peanut are family." The last was said softly as Cam gave another squeeze before going back into her office to keep Emily company.

rrrr

"Hey Peanut, what's your thought about my new tat?"

Cam knew Sara needed some time, and the best way to give her that was to make sure Emily didn't think about her mama. And her new tattoo was the perfect thing to keep Emily's focus on her.

"Uh, a princess."

That earned Emily a slight chuckle.

"You think my hair looks like I'm a princess kinda girl."

That got Cam a hard stare, as Emily looked closely at the woman. Cam could practically hear the wheels turning in the young girl's head.

Emily had never been interested in the real girly things, but she had started liking fairytales with dragons and princesses. One of Emily's new friends liked princesses and after Cam drew a dragon on her cast, Emily had been fascinated with dragons.

"No, but you already got a dragon."

Cam didn't know what to say to that kind of reasoning, but there was no way she would get a princess tattoo. She might have gone out with her share of princesses in her time.


	25. Chapter 25

Thanks for the reviews, it's nice to know there are still some that want to see what happens even after all this time. I'm trying to get finished as soon as possible.

* * *

**Chapter 25**

They had all seen a difference in Sara at work for the last four nights. Glad that the three nights off had helped. Nick and Warrick were sure that all Sara needed was a weekend off occasionally. Catherine didn't believe it had solved all Sara's work troubles. But she did agree with the guys that Sara was looking and acting happier, than she had seen the brunette in a long time. Catherine knew a few nights off wouldn't solve the schedule problems or that Sara suddenly only got the 'routine' cases.

Catherine was glad their plan had helped Sara's mood, that would give her more time to figure out a more permanent solution. Catherine would need that with the way Grissom had been ignoring and avoiding her.

"Hey Nick, you ready to buy me dinner?"

Both Warrick and Nick looked like they been caught with a hand in the cookie-jar at the sound of Sara entering the breakroom. Embarrassed at almost being caught talking about her.

"You think you can score higher than Nick, or are you just hoping this year will be different Sar?"

Nick had grown up learning to shot and how to handle weapons. He had always been the best shot, the other CSI's not even coming close.

"Someone got to keep Nick on his toes."

rrrrr

Sara didn't score better than Nick, but she did get closer than she had the previous years.

"You're getting better Sar, you might just win next year. But now I'm ready for my dinner."

Nick was grinning and didn't notice Sara flinch when he mentioned next year.

rrrr

A good time to catch Grissom in his office was during the last hour of shift. Sara, as well as the rest of the CSI's, knew that was the best time to find Grissom. The supervisor could normally be hard to pin down, and he had been doing his best to avoid Sara whenever possible.

Sara had expected to have to hunt Grissom down to be able to give him her resignation personally. She felt it was the lest she could do after all Grissom had done in the past. After all he had been the one to bring her to Las Vegas and her encouraged her to publish.

Sara didn't expect Grissom to talk to her when she knocked on the doorframe and entered the supervisor's office. That didn't mean it hurt any less when all she got was a dismissal.

"I don't have time for you Sara." He barely glanced up from his files to see who had entered.

"That's fine, I'll just leave this for you for later."

The man she had thought of as a friend and mentor had again proved that wasn't the case anymore. It also confirmed that she was indeed doing the right thing in finding a new job.

It was a relief to have handed Grissom the letter, but Grissom's reaction to her entering his office had ruined the good mood Sara had been in since requalifying for firearms. All Sara wanted was to leave and spend her Friday with Emily. They had plans to do some shopping. Emily needed a schoolbag and surplices for the first grade. Sara had been convinced by Cam and Emily that the young girl needed a new outfit for the first day of school.

Just the thought of their planned outing put the smile back on Sara's face.

Now she just had to get through the next two weeks and she would be free of the lab. After that Ecklie or even Grissom wouldn't make her every workday a chore.

The hard part was to tell the others, but Sara wasn't feeling up to doing that at this point. Putting it of for another night.

Sara quietly walked past the breakroom and got her things out of the locker, leaving the lab without talking to anyone.

There was still half an hour left of the shift, but Sara didn't think Grissom would notice or even mind she left early. Either way she didn't care. By leaving early, Sara was sure Grissom wouldn't send her out on some case, making sure she would get hardly any sleep.

Grissom had done that regularly in the time Emily had been in Vegas.

Sara expected the next two weeks to be similar to what had been happening. Meaning long shifts and hardly no sleep. At least she wouldn't be working alone, but she would only be allowed to help on cases. Ecklie and Grissom wouldn't want her to be lead on a case that would bring her back for a court case.

The next two weeks would be hard not only for Sara, but also for Emily. That was the only thing Sara regretted.

Sara would have to lean on both Nancy and Cam to help her with Emily, because she was sure Ecklie would find some way to work her nonstop for as long as he could. That would make it necessary to talk to Nancy when she had to ask for more help.

Nancy had become a good friend, and Sara enjoyed the time they spend talking. She wasn't used to having friends, before Vegas it had mostly been acquaintances and not real friends.

rrrrr

With Sara resigning right before the weekend, it wasn't until Monday the rumors started making it around the lab.

To most of the people that knew Sara, found it unlikely that the brunette would ever quit.

"Hey Sar, you heard the latest gossip? You'll get a kick out of this one."

Nick couldn't help the smile in his voice as he entered the breakroom 10 minutes before shift start Monday night.

Nick liked hearing the latest gossip, he got a kick out of the wild stories that made the rounds of the lab. He liked telling the craziest stories to Sara, even better if he could get a smile or a laugh out of the brunette. He thought this story might even get him one of those elusive laughs.

Nick was looking so much forward to retelling the latest rumor, that he failed to notice that Sara wasn't sharing his enthusiasm.

"The newest gossip from the lab rats is that you Sar, handed Grissom a resignation letter and are stopping all together as a CSI. It's right up there with the story of Greg and the monkey."

He turned with a big grin on his face, expecting Sara to at least smile at the ludicrous story.

"Like you would ever leave the lab with Grissom still here."

At this point Sara wouldn't look him in the eyes and wasn't saying anything.

"Right, Sar."

Nick was getting nervous that Sara wasn't saying anything to agree with him. He was starting to think that the lab rats had gotten their gossip right for once.

"Sar, is the rumor true?"

"How would Sara know if a rumor's true, she never listens to gossip." Warrick had stepped into the room as Nick had asked.

With Sara's lack of response Nick was not only worried, but was also getting angry that his friend hadn't bothered to say something about quitting herself, but he had to hear it from the lab rats.

"Normally I'd say you're right, but this rumor Sara would know."

Sara wanted to explain, try to save a friendship she feared she had ruined by not telling her friends about the resignation.

As Sara was about to start trying to explain Grissom walked in to hand out that nights cases.

"All right, lets get started. Sara will be restricted to lab work."

The exclamations and questions from the guys were loud, Grissom let them for a little while.

"That means we'll be shorthanded for some time. Hopefully one of the dayshift CSI's will be on loan till we can find a permanent replacement for Sara."

Grissom handed a slip of paper to each of the guy's, expecting that the conversation was over and that they could all go back to work.

Neither Nick nor Warrick thought that was anywhere enough information, but on the other hand they didn't expect Grissom to provide the answers.

Nick was furious and didn't care that Grissom left the room or that he had cases.

Nick spun on Sara, pinning her with an angry stare.

"What a great friend you are, couldn't even be bothered to tell us yourself. I don't know why I even bother, Sara Siddle doesn't know how to be a friend."

With that he left the room, slamming the door.

"We can talk later, but Sara he was right about something. You could have told us." Warrick gave Sara a sympathetic smile as he turned to get to work himself.

Sara hadn't expected it to be easy, but she hadn't expected to be fighting tears at the beginning of shift. She had wanted to tell the others herself, but every time she had tried she had chickened out. Afraid that she would get a reaction like the one Nick just had.

rrrrr

Nick hadn't cared that Catherine had the night off. She had been the one that wanted them to help Sara. In his anger he forgot that he had been more than willing to help.

On his way to the crime scene he had called and yelled at a sleeping Catherine. That didn't go over well, which he should have expected, but his anger clouded his judgement. Nick ended up being yelled at, when Catherine had woken enough to understand what he was talking about.

Catherine had been none to happy about being woken up on her night off. Having spent the day running around with Lindsey, Catherine had needed the sleep Nick so rudely had interrupted.

After being awoken, Catherine hadn't been able to go back to sleep. She wanted to talk to Sara, but knew from experience that catching the brunette after shift was almost impossible. Sara only worked overtime when necessary and left work as soon as possible. It was the way it had been since Sara had gotten custody of Emily. Sara had found something more important than work.

That was why Catherine and Lindsey was on their way to Nancy's before breakfast. Catherine had a hunch that that would be Sara's first stop after work.

rrrr

Shift had been horrible, Sara had been ignored for most of the night. If that had been all, she would have been okay with it. That had been the norm for most of her life. The talking behind her back was also something Sara had tried before.

The worst part was that even Greg, who she had thought a good friend, ignored her, going so far as to leave the room.

Grissom had refused to assign her to any specific case, leaving it up to the CSI's to ask for her help.

Nobody had wanted any help with any cases. Even the result of what she had in trace, DNA and ballistics were taking longer than usual, but Sara didn't get any answers as to a potential timeline. Sara had spent most of her night going over the evidence in her open cases, trying to get them solved before she stopped.

By shifts end Sara was closer to closing her cases. Two had been given over to the police for follow up, one she had handed to Grissom with nothing more that could be done.

Getting off work on time, meant that Sara could have breakfast with Emily. She was sure Nancy would invite Emily and her to have breakfast with them.

Nancy had done that every day, but it wasn't until lately that Sara had started accepting. Now she was having breakfast with Nancy and family almost every day. It felt good to feel like a part of a family.

Having breakfast together was a good start to the day for Emily, and a good end to a long night for Sara.

Sara hadn't expected Catherine and Lindsey to be at Nancy's. Sara knew Catherine had had the night off and hadn't expected either of them to be up this early.

Lindsey was a normal participant at their breakfast when Catherine worked, but Catherine had never joined them before.

Sara just hoped it would give her the opportunity to tell Catherine herself. Hoping that neither Nick or Warrick had already told the older woman about her resignation.

rrrrr

Catherine hadn't gotten more sleep that night. Almost the minute Lindsey woke, Catherine had them in the car heading for Nancy's.

Lindsey didn't mind having breakfast at her aunt's. Nancy made more out of breakfast if it wasn't a school day, and it was still vacation time. Besides Sara made the best pancakes on special occasions. It was always more fun when Sara was there. There was a lot more talking and laughing on the mornings Sara joined them.

Lindsey was disappointed when Sara's car wasn't in the driveway. It helped some that Emily was still there. She didn't have the chance to ask her aunt if Sara was coming before her mom referred her to the living room, to join the others watching cartoons.

rrrrr

Nancy knew something was wrong when her sister stormed in through her kitchen door, with Lindsey in tow.

She hadn't expected Catherine and Lindsey before this afternoon.

"Sara quit, and she didn't even bother to tell me. I thought I was her friend, and she didn't even give a damn."

Catherine was pacing the kitchen, but was expecting her sister to say something if not agree with her.

Catherine knew her sister, Nancy had never been able to keep anything from her. So the slightly guilty look in Nancy's eyes said it all.

"You knew! Nancy you knew. So not only didn't Sara tell me, she told my little sister. And worse you didn't tell ME, your sister."

Catherine had worked herself into a furry and all rational thought went out the window. Nancy knew that there was no reason to try to talk to Catherine before her sister had calmed down. So Nancy just let Catherine storm out of the house, not really surprised that Lindsey stayed. It was for the best anyway. Lindsey didn't need to see her mother like that. The young girl had been through enough in her short life, only recently starting to get back to normal.

It wasn't any trouble with one more kid for the day. The day already included 10 children, so one more didn't mean anything. With the summer vacation coming to an end most day time programs had ended for the summer. Not only for Emily, but also for Jeremy and his friends.

rrrr

As Catherine stormed out the door, Sara pulled into the driveway.

"Morning Cath, I din't know you would be here today. Do you have time to talk?"

"Do't even bother Sidle, I already know."

Sara didn't get a chance to say anything else before Catherine drove away.


	26. Chapter 26

Chapter 26

The next few nights was a repeat for Sara. Nobody wanted to talk to her or wanted her help. Warrick hadn't been by for that promised talk.

On the positive side Sara had gotten a few tips on possible job opportunities. Though nothing really caught her interest, but it was nice to know she was wanted and had options.

The shift was bad enough, but Thursday morning Sara had to meet Ecklie. There had been a message when she had signed in Wednesday night, to meet him after shift.

She wasn't sure what the Lab Director wanted, but thought it might give Ecklie a chance to gloat now that she was on the way out.

rrrr

Sara hadn't expected Ecklie to want her to use her accumulated vacation time for the rest of her employment.

Ecklie hadn't wanted to let Sara off that easy, he had been looking forward to getting as much out of the CSI as he could now that she had finally resigned.

The Under Sherif was more concerned about his budget. With CSI Sidle's overtime and vacation time saved up the department would have to part with a lump sum of money. Something he wasn't willing to do if he could in anyway help it.

That was the reason Ecklie had been ordered to put Sara on vacation.

Sara wasn't told any reason for her sudden freedom from work. Not that she cared for the reason, she was just glad to get out of there.

Ecklie had been very specific on a few points. Sara was to clear out her locker and workspace. He was aware that the CSI's usually had a place in the lab only for them. Sara was to hand in her ID and work issued firearm.

Ecklie would make sure that Sara's last paycheck would be mailed to her. He was very insistent that there would be no reason what so ever that Sara would need to come into the crime lab building after today.

The meeting with Ecklie hadn't taken long, but it was late enough that most of the night shift would have gone home by the time Sara got back to the lab.

Sara would have liked the opportunity to talk to the others and explain. With the last three nights in mind Sara wasn't sure they would even listen if any of them were still at the lab.

Sara didn't see any of the night shift only day shift. They didn't ignore her or pay much attention to Sara, but was willing to help when Sara asked.

Sara talked the computer specialist into making a print of her contact list before Sara had to hand in her phone and pager. She would have liked the list to be transferred to her private cell phone, but it had run out of battery just before Sara left from home. So Sara had left her phone to recharge not thinking too much about it. Most people called her work number anyway.

It had taken some time to go through her crime scene kit to sort out what was her own property and what belonged to the County. Some of the more special equipment Sara had bought herself along with the case she carried everything around in. The rest she packed up in a box and left it on Grissom's desk.

Sara left the crime lab building for the last time with her scene kit and a box of her belongings. It felt strange not to have her cell phone, ID and pager strapped to her waist. Even more strange was it knowing that she would never get to work at the crime lab again.

Sara had wanted to leave a note for Catherine, but hadn't known what to write, especially after the older woman hadn't wanted to talk to her since Tuesday morning.

rrrr

Grissom didn't explain why Sara didn't show up for her next shift, after Ecklie had Sara use vacation time for the rest of her employment.

The night shift had been surprised when Sara had resigned, feeling angry that Sara hadn't said anything herself. Sara had been collectively ignored, but they had all expected another week to speak to Sara and get things cleared up.

The night shift CSI's and Greg had all planned to talk to Sara and get things settled before the brunette's last day.

When Sara didn't show up, and didn't leave any of them a message, most reacted with renewed anger.

Greg knew Sara better than the others, and he knew there was a reason. That didn't mean he understood why Sara hadn't talked to him. He was disappointed Sara hadn't felt she could talk to him, and he too had avoided his friend because his feelings were hurt. Greg knew he needed to explain and apologize to Sara, but he needed more time before he could do that.

Nick's anger hadn't cooled when Sara had stopped showing up for work. In his anger he took it as an insult that Sara hadn't told him anything. Telling himself that Sara had never been a friend, and in his anger he believed that Sara was the one to blame.

Warrick had mostly been surprised that Sara had actually left the lab and Grissom, but also that Grissom hadn't found someway to persuade Sara to stay. He didn't think Sara had chosen to leave without a word with no good reason. He believed Sara would contact them when ready.

Catherine had been hurt when Sara hadn't said anything. When she found out that Nancy had known and was defending Sara, Catherine became jealous. Hurt and jealousy wasn't emotions Catherine handled well. Whenever Catherine felt vulnerable she resorted to anger. It was easier to be angry at Sara than to admit what Sara's friendship meant.

Catherine was usually confrontational when she wasn't happy about something. This time was different, Catherine did her best to avoid Sara at all cost. Ignoring calls and dropping Lindsey at the curb whenever she saw Sara's car at Nancy's. Instead of yelling at Sara, Catherine took her anger out on her colleagues. Making it missable for everybody to be in the lab.

It didn't help with Sara no longer there, the nightshift was a CSI short. Grissom's promise of help had been sparse. Ecklie wouldn't allow Grissom to hire a new CSI right away. To stay within budget the Lab Director needed to keep the position vacant for three months.

Brass and Dr. Robbins hadn't stopped talking to Sara after the CSI had resigned. They had both suspected something was wrong long before Sara quiet. They hadn't pressured Sara but had tried to be supportive. That had been a difficult task for both of them, seeing as Sara mostly didn't handle homicide cases or cases that needed the ME.

Being short one CSI and with mostly no help from the other shifts, had all night shifts CSI's working more hours than normal. That made them realize just how much time Sara had put in when they had to take over the brunette's workload.

Any training Greg would have gotten from Sara or the other CSI's was stopped for the time being.

rrrr

Emily was ecstatic that her mama didn't have to work during the nights, and even more so that Sara actually used the vacation time without working.

Sara was still looking for employment, but spent most of her time with Emily and friends. She had even brought the young blonde to replenish her scene kit. Even though she knew she wouldn't be a criminalist in the near future, Sara wanted to keep up to date on new developments and maintain her skills.

The fingerprint powder had given the entertainment for several afternoons. Not only for Emily but also for Jeremy and Lindsey.

With everything Nancy had done to help her, Sara had offered to take Jeremy and Lindsey during Nancy's work hours.

Nancy worked part time to supplement her husbands income, and Nancy liked working. During the school year she mostly worked when Jeremy was at school, but during the summer it was always harder matching her work schedule with finding somebody to watch Jeremy. Usually Jeremy would spend the days with friends.

Jeremy, like all the other children Nancy had seen Sara with, had taken to the brunette. Sara had a way to capture the attention of children and keep it.

The one day they had spent at Cam's Garage had been all Jeremy talked about for the rest of the week. So much so that his dad had been jealous of the things Jeremy had gotten to try.

No matter how they spent the day, Sara made sure there was something for both Emily and Jeremy to do. Everything could be turned into some sort of learning experience, without either child was always small things and not all of them school relevant, but they always managed to pique Emily and Jeremy's curiosity. Something Nancy and her husband, Peter, had had trouble doing lately.

rrrr

Nancy was glad that both Emily and Sara still regularly joined her family for meals. Catherine hadn't been too thrilled about it, or Nancy for that matter. Keeping herself and Lindsey away for some days.

Nancy knew Catherine needed time to cool off. But it would only be so long before her sister came back.

Catherine temper had always been easy to flare, but she always cooled down and talked to Nancy again. The advantage of being sisters. Besides Lindsey couldn't keep sleeping over at friends houses.

That Nancy had become friends with Sara, was what had kept Catherine away for longer than usual. Nancy's easy report with Sara, had bothered Catherine, because Catherine herself had found it difficult to talk to Sara.

Catherine had had her feelings hurt when Sara hadn't told about the trouble at work, just as she had thought they become friends. That Sara hadn't said anything about resigning before she heard it from Nick, had hurt her again. Handling hurt by being angry had always been what Catherine did.

Catherine hadn't wanted to hear any explanation from Sara. Choosing not to answer when the brunette called, and never returned any of the calls even after the several messages Sara had left on her voice mail.

A week later, Catherine still hadn't talked to Sara, but she was letting Lindsey back in Nancy's home. Avoiding it herself if there was any chance of Sara being there.

rrrr

A week before school started, Sara heard from Brian, a friend she had first meet at a conference.

He had heard from contacts that Sara was looking for work. That had gotten him to call sooner than he had planned.

Sara had agreed to meet, so he could tell her about the offer.

It turned out her friend had made the move to Las Vegas 6 months earlier, to help the Las Vegas University get a high ranked Criminal Justice program.

Brian had been hired to improve the criminalistic part of the program. When he had started it hadn't been anything that attracted that many new students. The university wanted to take advantage of the popularity TV-show were generating.

Brian had been making some changes, most of them would first be implemented with the start of the fall semester. The summer courses he had helped put together had gotten some attention from the students already. The courses that was being offered that fall was well over their minimum participants, and there was still a good two weeks until the semester started.

He had from the beginning planned on trying to recruit Sara, he just hadn't expected it would be this soon.

Brian had always thought Sara would be a great teacher, hoping when he got the chance to lure her to join him.

Now that he knew Sara was looking for a new job, he had gotten the opportunity sooner than he had expected. But he wasn't going to miss out of a chance like that.

Brian was hoping he could persuade Sara to come teach at the University. It would be a great help to his dream for making this the best Criminal Justice program. He was willing to go a long way to convince her.

rrrr

Sara looked forward to talking to a friend she hadn't seen in a long time, but she wasn't expecting the job offer to pique her interest and curiosity.

Sara hadn't thought her talk with Brian would take long and had told Cam she would be back early in the afternoon.

Brian wanted to offer courses in the practical work one could encounter as a criminalist. That was where Sara came in. The more Brian talked about the possibilities the more interested Sara became. It started looking as a real opportunity.

If she chose to take the teaching job, Sara would get free hands with the syllabus. Brian would like there to be two to four different courses, not right away, but in time.

Giving future CSIs and law personnel the chance to learn some of the practical skills before being thrown into it like he had been and knew Sara had as well.

Brian hadn't thought teaching would be enough to lure Sara to the position, so a part of the offer was to give the opportunity to do experiments and relating research and publishing of articles.

When Sara was getting a tour of the Campus, Cam called.

Cam had an appointment mid afternoon and Sara hadn't thought to find someone else, fully expecting to by back by then.

Cam was going to a meeting, and couldn't take Emily with her. Knowing Sara was at a job interview, Cam had tried Nancy first, but Nancy had been working.

Cam didn't have enough time to wait for Sara to get back and then drive to her meeting, but the University was close to where she was going. Leaving Sara with no other options than having Cam drop of Emily at the University.

Brian had been surprised to discover Sara had a daughter, and even more to find out the girl was about to start the 1st grade. He had never heard Sara mention any children or family.

He hadn't minded having Emily join them on the tour, it gave him the possibility to show Sara the daycare and tell her about the offers to employees with children.

By the time Sara had been shown around and gotten answers to her questions and Emily's, Brian was getting a very good feeling. He was sure Sara was giving his job offer serious thought.

Sara promised to give Brian her answer in a few days before they left.

rrrr

A teaching position wasn't something Sara had ever thought would be for her.

On the way home from the University, Emily had been talking non stop, not giving Sara any opportunity to think about the job offer.

Emily jumped from one topic to another, like she always did when in a good mood.

Sara got one of her questions answered without having to ask. Emily talked about the playground and daycare that Brian had shown them. Sara had been introduced to the daycare leader, who had been in that day to prepare for the start of the semester.

rrrr

It wasn't until Emily had been tucked in that Sara had the time to consider Brian's offer. She liked the possibilities, and even had a few ideas for what would be the first course, but before she made a decision Sara needed to talk to someone more objective.

That was why Caroline got a call. Caroline hardly got a word in, Sara had so many things she wanted to say. Sounding as an exited kid. By the time Sara was all talked out, Caroline had no doubt that Sara would take the job. Sara needed to put her thoughts into words more than she needed actual advice. It was always nice to hear Caroline's opinion. Something Sara knew would be with her best interest in mind. Sara like having someone on her side.

Caroline wouldn't tell Sara what to choose, much to Sara's annoyance but it was expected. All Sara got out of the older woman on the subject was to listen to herself. That was a standard answer when a choice had already been made.

That Sara talked for more than two hours just about the possibilities she would have teaching and the facilities of the daycare, to Caroline that said it all.

After the phone call with Caroline, Sara went right to her desk and started a list of what she would like to have known before she started as a CSI and another list of how each point could best be achieved. Sara finally noticed she was tired a few hours before she would have to get up.

rrrrr

Sara hadn't needed the two days to consider Brian's offer, she had called and accepted the morning after.

That gave Sara just under two weeks to get ready before the semester started. Not a lot of time, but both Sara and Brian was determined to have at least a rough sketch of what the course would contain before the semester started. There was also the problem of getting enough students to attend the course this close to the semester start.

Brian left the planning up to Sara, and he used his time to advertise the new course.

Not only had he gotten the teacher he had only hoped for, the practically oriented courses he had always wanted was starting up sooner than he had even dreamed of.


	27. Chapter 27

Thanks for the reviews and for sticking with me even with the long waits between chapters.

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Chapter 27

Life was finally looking up for Sara and Emily. Emily was thriving in her new life and school, and Sara was getting settled in her new job.

Sara wanted to celebrate Emily's school start and her new job with their friends. From the minute Sara brought up the idea of a party Emily was excited.

The idea evolved from something small they could hold in their home, only hours after they had started talking about ideas and guest list. The question of a location got harder when Emily had the idea of a pool party. Emily had loved it the day she was allowed to join in at Jeremy's pool party and had wanted one with her own friends ever since. Sara didn't want to disappoint her little girl, but they didn't have a pool, let alone a house with enough place for all the people Emily wanted to invite. Sara had been willing to beg Nancy for permission to borrow their house and pool.

That hadn't been necessary, Nancy and Peter had offered their place before Sara had even finished asking.

Sara wanted to share their good news with her old colleagues, and introduce them to Emily. She called each person on the night shift as well as Brass and Dr. Robbins to invite them to the pool party.

Nick and Catherine never called back or gave any indication that they had gotten the message Sara had left.

Catherine's dismissal, hurt more than Sara wanted to admit. She had believed that they were friends. Sara blamed herself for allowing herself to fall for that. She thought she should have known that Catherine's friendship was only temporary, their past had shown that several times. Sara had thought Catherine respected her and wouldn't go back to the old ways.

No matter the reason for Catherine's lack of response, Sara refused to let it ruin Emily's day.

Greg had taken Sara's invitation as his chance to apologize and get back into the brunette's life. He loved getting to be an uncle to Emily, she lived a lot closer than his nieces. When he had gotten Sara's call he had been so eager to make things right that he had babbled on and on before Sara had finally gotten his attention by yelling his name. They had talked for an hour before Sara had had to leave. Greg had gotten an invite to have dinner with them before they had hung up.

Warrick had been happy to accept Sara's invitation. Catherine hadn't been too happy about that, fully expecting her friend to side with her.

rrrr

Sara's invitation to a party held at Nancy's home, had directed Catherine's anger toward her little sister.

Both sisters had been used to Nancy giving in to Catherine's demands. Only a few times in their lived had Nancy refused to see things Catherine's way.

Nancy's advantage of knowing Catherine sometimes better than the older woman knew herself, was why Nancy had no trouble going against Catherine's wish of not having the party.

Lindsey was caught in the middle. She didn't know what was going on, but she did know something was wrong. Her mom was sad again. Not laughing or smiling as much. Not wanting to see Sara. Home was quiet, Catherine's mood effected Lindsey, and the normally talkative girl didn't say much.

In Lindsey's young mind everything that had happened added up to Sara having hurt her mom. Anyone that did that, Lindsey disliked. Usually it was some guy she never saw again, so it didn't mean much. It was different with Sara. Lindsey thought Sara had been her friend and was angry at Sara hurting her mom. So even though both Lindsey and Catherine had been invited, neither of them wanted to attend.

Sara had suspected Catherine wouldn't come after the older woman hadn't returned any of her calls. That Lindsey had stopped talking to her, didn't come as a surprise. Sara knew and respected Lindsey's fierce protection of Catherine. But that didn't mean it hurt any less when Lindsey withdrew.

It wasn't entirely possible for Lindsey to avoid Sara when Nancy was still watching Lindsey on most nights Catherine worked. Even though Emily didn't spend nights at Nancy's anymore, both Sara and Emily visited often.

rrrr

Emily had hardly been able to fall asleep the night before the party and had woken early almost dragging Sara out of bed.

Emily's joy the day of the party, made all the difference to Sara, and Sara couldn't help getting swept up in Emily's enthusiasm.

Not wanting to wait any longer than necessary. Emily had pleaded until Sara agreed to leave earlier than planned.

Sara had always been ashamed of her scars. Before she had left San Francisco, Sara had learned to live with some people seeing them. That comfortable feeling in her own skin had disappeared when Sara had moved to Las Vegas and she still hadn't come back to that. With Emily living with her and the girl's easy acceptance of anything and everything Sara, meant Sara was getting more comfortable with her past again.

That and that she didn't want to disappoint Emily made it possible for Sara to join the children in the pool even when her friends and old colleagues would be able to see most of her scars.

By the time Sara's old colleagues showed up at Nancy's house, Sara could be found in the pool with the children. Sara had been incredible self-conscious when she had first walked outside in just her swimsuit. Sara had never liked to show her scars, but she was willing to make an exception to make Emily happy.

Emily had seen Sara's scars since she was a baby, and never thought much about them, they were just a part of her mama like the color of her hair.

The other children had soon been too busy playing in the pool to look at Sara. With Emily and Jeremy getting Sara to boost them high out of the water before splashing back into the water. All the children was soon begging Sara for a turn.

Playing with the children, Sara herself forgot all else, even that more people were still arriving.

Greg was the only one from her old job that knew a little of Sara's past, but he too had had no idea of what his friend had been through.

Nobody had seen the effect of Sara's childhood, few even knew Sara hadn't had a normal upbringing, and Sara liked it that way. She didn't want the pity that came with the knowledge.

Sara would have liked to avoid the looks from her friends as she got up from the pool.

It was hard to pretend that she didn't notice the way Greg, Warrick, Brass and Dr. Robbins were looking at her. The tattoo's only shortly distracted from the scars. Sara was sure they would be able to at least guess what some of the scars were from. After all it was something they had all seen during their careers. To feel more comfortable Sara quickly shrugged into a T-shirt without drying off first.

It was awkward for some time, but after Brass had taken Greg and Warrick inside for a talk, the two CSI's was more discreet with their looks.

Sara knew they talked about her and she caught the looks. She appreciated that Brass had at least stopped the worst of it.

rrrr

Besides from the awkwardness, Sara had enjoyed the day, but she had hoped Catherine would show up. Not giving up on seeing either of the Willows until she had to carry Emily out to the car when they were leaving.

Nancy was the only one that had noticed Sara looking for someone all through the day. She had no doubt that Sara was looking for Catherine. She had seen the look in Sara's eyes when she told Sara that Lindsey and Catherine wouldn't be coming. Sara had quickly masked the hurt, but not before Nancy had seen it.

Nancy normally didn't try to change Catherine's mind, when her sister blew up at someone. It usually didn't matter, because Nancy rarely knew the person. But this time Nancy thought it might be worth it to figure out why Catherine was so angry with Sara.

Sara was like no one else Nancy had ever meet. And she found a friend in a woman she had only offered to help because of Catherine.

Talking to Catherine about Sara turned out to be harder than Nancy had expected. Catherine was talking to her again, but the CSI refused to talk about Sara. Nancy had never known Catherine to continuously refuse to talk about anything. Nancy knew Catherine tended to mull things over before talking to her.

Nancy saw no other way than to give Catherine more time to let the anger cool. Catherine's temper was known to burn fast and bright, but it also burned out quickly.

By waiting and being patient, Nancy knew Catherine would come to her eventually. Catherine was confused and like all the other previously times, Nancy knew Catherine would come to her when ready. Nancy just didn't know when that would be, but she suspected it wouldn't be anytime soon.


	28. Chapter 28

I'm trying to finish this story, but I'm having some trouble putting words to my ideas.

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Chapter 28

Catherine became harder to work with in the time after Sara and Emily's party. Everyone got to feel Catherine's temper. It was faster to flare up than usual. So much so that the lab rats was scarred of saying the wrong thing. And on bad nights that could be anything. There was no way of knowing what would set Catherine off.

At work people tried to stay out of Catherine's way. During her off time, Catherine was the one trying to stay away from everyone she knew.

Gradually Lindsey spend more time at Nancy's and friends.

While Catherine was running away, Lindsey withdrew into herself, the happy child disappeared again.

Catherine was trying to drown her feelings in the companionship of strangers at various bars. Nothing seemed to help and Catherine didn't know how to handle her emotions.

Spending less time sleeping and more time at bars, didn't make work easier. Showing up to work tired and sometimes hungover didn't help Catherine's quick temper. Nor did it make it easier with the increased workload.

In the months after Sara's leaving, Catherine had been heading for a burn out. Her life was slowly spinning out of control. Catherine knew she was in trouble, but she didn't know how to change it. Or even who or how to ask for help. At the same time Catherine stayed away from the people that could actually help her.

rrrr

Lindsey was reverting to the behavior from right after her father died, it worried Nancy more than getting on Catherine's bad side.

Nancy had tried to bring Sara back in Lindsey's life in hope it would help the girl because Sara had helped Lindsey before. But now Lindsey wouldn't even look at Sara.

Nancy hadn't expected Lindsey to have stayed angry at Sara so long, for what Lindsey believed Sara had done. Lindsey didn't know what was happening with her mom, but knew something was wrong. It had started with her mom not wanting to talk to Sara. Therefore in Lindsey's mind Sara had ruined everything with her mom.

Not knowing what had happened, and why her mom didn't want to spend time with her. Lindsey needed someone to blame, and it was easier to blame Sara than her mother.

Lindsey wasn't responding well to anything Nancy did to try to help. Trying to get Sara back in Lindsey's life had only been meet with anger from Lindsey.

Lindsey knew something wasn't right with her mom, but also that she tried to pretend everything was normal.

They didn't laugh together anymore, even the smiles that used to light up her mom's face were lacking. It wasn't that her mom didn't smile anymore, but that the smiles never reached her eyes.

Lindsey tried to be on her very best behavior not wanting to cause her mom any more sadness.

By trying to be perfect the real Lindsey was slowly disappearing inside herself. She became a quiet almost shy girl. Staying alone while in school only talking to her friends when necessary. The quietness didn't last, after having suppressed herself for as long as she could, Lindsey couldn't keep everything inside. That was when it all started to come out as anger. The changes in Lindsey came gradually and it took time before anyone noticed the changes.

rrrr

Emily was thriving with the change in Sara's work hours. She no longer had trouble sleeping, making her more happy and less prone to anger outburst.

Sara had made sure they established a routine when Emily had started school. Sara wanted Emily to feel secure and be able to predict what would happen on a daily basic, but also that Emily would be able to predict Sara's reaction. That was important to Sara, as her parents reaction had been anything but predictable.

So every day after school, the school bus dropped Emily off at the University daycare. Where Emily would spend some time before Sara was ready to leave work. Some days Emily would join Sara in her office.

Sara had made room especially for Emily. They would share the desk, Emily doing homework or drawing, while Sara was doing her paperwork.

Sara made it a habit to not stay late at work. For once in her life she was working regular hours, she left the University no later than 4 p.m. The only exception was Thursdays night when Sara had open office hours, to give students a change to come by with questions. She had an open door policy and every one could come by whenever she was in her office. But her schedule didn't alway match those of her students. It wasn't so bad this semester with her only teaching one course, but it did give Sara time to plan for future courses as well as spend time catching up on what she hadn't had time to in the last six months before stopping as a CSI. Before that Sara had read everything relevant. It wasn't only the obvious journals Sara had a subscription to, but also physics and mechanics. The knowledge from articles had helped her solve cases on occasion. The most bizarre piece of knowledge could sometimes give you the hint to start putting together the evidence for a case.

Even with Thursday night planned for work, Sara made sure to leave in time to get home before Emily's bedtime. Emily still didn't do well spending the night anywhere than at home. But not only that, Sara had to be there to say goodnight, and Emily had to know Sara wouldn't leave.

Sara had tried a few times coming home after Emily was put to bed with Cam babysitting Emily. It had worked well, but Emily had been awake waiting for her mama to come home. It was getting better, but Emily was still scared if Sara wasn't there.

With her new and predictable work schedule, Sara had every weekend off. That quickly became family time. Though Sara's definition of family wasn't just the two of them, but also included Caroline and all her friends.

Sara didn't want to push Catherine and stopped trying to contact her, when the older woman didn't react. Sara didn't want to reach out to someone she thought clearly showed that she didn't want to know her. So Sara did what she always did, she pulled away. Not only from Catherine, but also from Lindsey and Nancy.

Pulling away from Lindsey didn't make much difference as Sara hardly saw the girl anyway. Usually only in passing at Nancy's. And then Lindsey would quickly go to another room if possible, else she just ignored Sara.

Nancy and family was more difficult to pull away from. Sara tried staying away, but that was made difficult because they had slowly become like family. Emily especially didn't want to miss out of what had quickly become a biweekly Saturday breakfast. After their breakfast Jeremy would spend the day and some times the night with Emily and Sara, giving Nancy and Peter some time to themselves.

Both Nancy and Emily refused to let Sara withdraw. Emily couldn't do much, Nancy though, was just as stubborn as her sister, and wouldn't take no for an answer to the invitations.

Sara was uncomfortable, but Nancy for some reason knew how to get through to Sara. Not only did Nancy make Sara feel comfortable, but she also managed to get Sara to talk about why she was pulling away.

Convincing Sara that the need to withdraw from everything connected to Catherine wasn't necessary. And most important not wanted.

Even though Sara wasn't sure what to believe, she was willing to give it a chance, for nothing else Sara would keep coming for Emily's sake.

It was awkward for most of their breakfast. Sara didn't know what to say, without somehow insulting Catherine's family. It didn't help matters that Sara didn't know what she had done to offend Catherine. Though she couldn't figure out what she had done, Sara was certain that it was her that had done something wrong. Not knowing why, was making Sara scared it would also happen with Nancy and Peter, and therefore she preferred to keep quiet.

Emily and Jeremy didn't notice that Sara hardly joined the conversation. They were busy coming up with ideas for Saturday excursions. Sara's silence didn't go unnoticed by Nancy or Peter.

After the look he got from Nancy, Peter tried to draw Sara into a conversation about mechanics. Something they could usually talk about for hours.

That breakfast didn't get less awkward. During the next Saturday's breakfast, Sara gradually became more like herself again.


	29. Chapter 29

Thanks for the reviews hope you'll like this chapter. I'll get Sara and Catherine interaction soon, I'll just have to find the words to put my ideas down on paper. Enjoy and take the time to review, it's always motivational to hear what you think of my writing.

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Chapter 29

Halloween had never been something Sara had gotten to do as a child. Living with Caroline she had been at the age where everything was seen as childish. Emily had been too young for Halloween to be anything big when Sara had lived in San Francisco.

So Sara was surprised when by the start of October, Emily and Cam had started making plans for Halloween.

Cam was always up to fun with Emily. It gave her an excuse to act like a child, not that she usually needed one, but it was always more fun when you could take a child along with you.

Costumes was a major part of the planning, but as the time got closer to the actual night, Emily became worried about where to go trick or treating.

Sara and Emily lived in an apartment complex, designed and built with young adults starting out or singles in mind. Emily worried if there would be anybody home when it came to go trick or treating.

Cam didn't have any obvious solution, but she did at least recognize it as a problem, unlike Sara. Cam's home didn't offer a better neighborhood. She also lived in an apartment building with mostly singles.

Cam hadn't been trick or treating since moving to Las Vegas, and didn't know where it would be best to take Emily for the special night.

Emily was the one to find the solution to the problem of where. She had in the best child fashion invited herself to spend Halloween at Nancy's.

Sara wasn't sure why Emily had thought it best to go out from Nancy's home, but she did try to apologize for Emily's way of asking.

Nancy had experienced Jeremy do the same thing on several occasions. She liked being on the other side for once, and was enjoying not being the one that was embarrassed. She quickly took pity on Sara by extending the invitation to include Cam and Sara.

To make up for Emily inviting herself, Sara offered to take Jeremy out with them if the boy wanted to go. Sara wasn't sure if it was something Jeremy still wanted to do or if Nancy and Peter would allow him to go alone.

Sara didn't know that Jeremy earlier that month had let his parents know that trick or treating was for little kids, and that he had no plan to participate. And no he wouldn't need some silly costume.

Sara hadn't thought about a costume for herself, she had just expected to walk around with Cam and Emily in her usual clothes. That idea was put to rest a week before Halloween when Emily informed her that a costume was a necessity.

rrrr

On Halloween Sara had left work earlier than normal to get as much time with Emily for their trick or treating. By 4 pm Emily, Cam and Sara pulled up to Nancy's house.

Nancy couldn't keep her laugh in when Cam and Emily walked up her driveway together.

Emily was dressed as her version of Cam. Hair colored bright pink, tattoos painted on, what looked to be rings in both nose and ears. Dressed in leather pants, a muscle tee with a leather west to complete the ensemble.

Cam was dressed nice. Hair dyed blond, tattoos covered to blend into her skin tone, piercings removed and only one earring in each ear, a beautiful dress and high heeled shoes completed the look. Cam looked every bit like her usual dates, made more obvious by Emily leading Cam up the driveway with a small hand on Cam's lower back.

The prospect of going out trick or treating with Emily, Cam and Sara, had Jeremy forgetting how childish his friends thought it to be.

"My feet were not meant to be stuffed into shoes like this."

Cam had soon after they headed out from Nancy's house begun to feel the effect off wearing new and unfamiliar shoes. She had kept her voice low, not wanting to ruin the night for Emily, so only Sara heard her.

"That's what you get when you take advise from a 7 year old on what to wear to walk around for hours."

Sara didn't even try to stop her laugh from escaping. She was glad she had chosen to dress up as a CSI and let Emily decide her costume. It had been easy to put together with her lack of time, but the best part was her well worn booths she knew wouldn't be a problem to walk around in for as long as Emily was trick or treating.

Emily and Jeremy had several times convinced Cam and Sara of continuing. By the time they got back to Nancy's home it was later than Sara had planed, but the pleading eyes had been impossible to say no to.

Cam had been the one to at last demand they head home in the end, her feet killing her, and she had contemplated going barefoot, but the thought of accidentally stepping on a peace of glass had kept Cam from doing that. She didn't want to chance ruining Emily's night, so she had toughed it out. Cam wasn't used to wearing high heeled dress shoes. The promise of a part of both children's candy had made Cam endure the pain for longer than she would have normally.

With all the candy Emily had gotten, she would have candy till Christmas even after Cam got her share.

The night had been a great success, even though they would all pay for it in the morning. Emily had been up later than her bedtime and combined with all the sugar, she wouldn't be easy to get up in the morning. Sara would have the joy of an over tired child coming down from too much sugar. Cam would have trouble at work having to stand for most of the day, with blisters on both of her feet.

Nancy had invited Lindsey to join Jeremy and Emily for the trick or treating. Lindsey had at first been exited, until she heard Sara was going to go out with them.

She had tried to find out why Lindsey was so opposed to anything Sara. But hadn't gotten any answer besides more anger from Lindsey.

Telling Sara about Lindsey's rejection of the invitation hadn't crossed Nancy's mind. She knew Sara was still hurting from Lindsey and Catherine's rejection.

rrrr

Time seemed to fly by for Sara and Emily, and before they knew it, they were on their way to San Francisco to spend Thanksgiving with Caroline.

For Catherine each day seemed to drag by. Lindsey was getting worse, acting out and pulling away from everyone increasingly.

Catherine knew thing weren't working, but she didn't know what to do about it. She still hadn't admitted to herself what was causing the empty feeling that seemed to take over whenever she wasn't keeping her mind occupied. It was most effective when she was at work. That Catherine could put aside her personal emotions and problems at work only made her work longer hours than usually.

Staying longer at work, gave less time to be with Lindsey. That again made Lindsey's anger at the world show at everyone around her. Pushing her mom and family away, without knowing it Lindsey was making everyone around her as missable as she herself was. Every time she spoke to her mom it was in anger.

Catherine wanted to spend time with Lindsey, and knew it was the best for both of them, but she didn't know how to spend time with her daughter. Especially when Lindsey didn't want to be around her.

The day that Catherine got a call from Lindsey's principal that she needed to come to the school because Lindsey had been in a fight, was the day Catherine consciously made the decision to change things.

Having to hear what was happening to Lindsey and having been unaware of the problems her daughter was having hadn't been easy for Catherine. But most of what the principal and Lindsey's teacher told her about Lindsey didn't register with Catherine.

After the meeting Catherine was glad she had been able to get the principal to decrease Lindsey's suspension to 5 days instead of the possible expulsion the principal had mentioned. It didn't mean Catherine was anywhere near happy about what had happened.

It was probably Lindsey's luck that her mom only registered part of what had going on with Lindsey at school. As it was Catherine wasn't all that fond of her daughter at that moment, but she did recognize that things would only get worse if she started yelling.

She had to find a new way to reach her daughter and fast. Catherine wasn't sure how to accomplish that, but she did know it had to start with herself.

She knew she wouldn't be able to figure things out on her own. If for not anything else Catherine knew she was good at self denial and tended to flee from her private life if the emotions got too much. The only person she allowed to call her on it was Nancy. Her sister was also the only person Catherine knew to tell the truth no matter if she liked it or not. Nancy was probably also the only person that dared stand up to Catherine when she got really angry.

First step was talking with Nancy, but that turned out harder than just showing up at Nancy's home. Catherine had forgot it was in the middle of the day, and that Nancy was at work.

Catherine at her best of times wasn't all that patient and this was no where close to a good time. So having to wait for Nancy to get home was wearing on Catherine.

Instead of talking with Nancy, Catherine thought it was as good a time as any to start talking with Lindsey. She needed to find out what was making Lindsey so angry that the girl had started fighting again and why Lindsey hadn't told her something was wrong.

Catherine knocked on Lindsey's bedroom door, but didn't get an answer. Not that she had expected any, Lindsey tended to become silent when angry.

Catherine slowly opened the door and stuck her head inside.

"Sweetie, you ready to talk?"

Catherine would do her best to keep her temper in check, and not allow her anger to flare up.

Lindsey just shrugged. Catherine took that as a yes, and entered Lindsey's bedroom. Softly sitting down on the bed next to Lindsey, she tried to get her thoughts in order.

"I know we haven't talked much in the last months, but I would like to know why you're fighting at school."

"Whatever, it's not like it'll change anyway."

Lindsey didn't bother looking toward her mom, instead keeping her eyes focused on the ceiling. She really didn't want to have this conversation or any conversation with her mom. Pretending she didn't care Lindsey hoped her mom would leave her alone.

The words hurt more than Catherine let on, but she didn't want Lindsey to see the pain. It didn't matter either way as Lindsey wasn't looking anywhere near her mom.

"I know I've been distant for a long time now, and I would very much like to change that. And a part of that is helping you with what is causing you to be so angry."

"It's never worked before, why should I think it would now."

With that Lindsey turned on her side, looking at the wall. Blocking her mom out. She had heard her mom promise to change and spend more time with her before, but it had never worked for more than a short time. The previously times Lindsey had believed that her mom's change would last and each time it had hurt more when the changes didn't last. Now Lindsey din't dare believe. It was just easier to not believe and not risk being let down than to believe and have her hopes crushed yet again.

Catherine tried for some time after Lindsey had turned her back, to get through to Lindsey but she didn't get any reactions. Lindsey refused to talk to her mom and ignored everything she said.


	30. Chapter 30

Work has been busy and probably will be for the foreseeable future, but I'm trying to find some time to write this story. Thanks for the reviews they mean a lot and help keep me focused on getting this story finished.

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**Chapter 30**

Nancy had rushed to Catherine's home as soon as she could get away from work. Catherine had left her first message when she had found Nancy wasn't home. That message had gotten Nancy to plan to stop by Catherine's on the way home, but hadn't thought it was an emergency. The message she had received shortly before she could leave work, had gotten Nancy to break the speed limit the whole way to her sister's house.

Catherine had sounded panicked, and Nancy knew it wasn't a good idea to leave her sister alone too long when panicked. Catherine tended to make horrible decisions, without seeing the consequences or even if there was a reason to panic.

In the past Catherine's terrible decisions mostly affected herself, but this time Nancy feared Lindsey would be the one paying the price.

So Nancy rushed there, mostly for Lindsey's sake. Catherine was a grown woman and could take care of herself, but Lindsey didn't have much say in her own life. Not to say, that Nancy didn't care about what happened to her sister, but there was only so much she could do when Catherine made up her mind.

Nancy didn't bother knocking before going in through the kitchen door. She found Catherine pacing the kitchen. That wasn't a surprise, the kitchen had become the place they talked. It had been Catherine that started the tradition. Nancy had never figured out why, it wasn't as if Catherine had spent all that much time in a kitchen or liked cooking.

Catherine was pacing and rambling to herself. Nancy could only hear tidbits of what Catherine was saying, but what she did hear made her anger come to the surface.

Catherine had been rambling on about Lindsey hating her, and that it didn't matter what she did, it wouldn't make any difference.

Nancy didn't want to hear any more of the pity party Catherine had going. This feeling sorry for herself gave Nancy the compulsion to literally shake some sense into Catherine.

Pushing the blame away, and giving up without even trying. To Nancy the latter was the worst. Catharine usually fought hard and didn't give up, but when her feelings were involved, she would flee rather than fight for what she wanted.

"Catherine, slow down and tell me what happened."

Nancy started out talking calmly, trying to get Catherine to explain what had happened. It was like Catherine didn't notice Nancy was there, but somehow reacted to the question. At least Nancy managed to get some answers to what had happened to cause this panic.

Nancy felt that this was the time for Catherine to grow up and really show what she was made of.

"If you could stop acting like a five year old long enough to hear me out, you would know that YOUR daughter got into more than this fight, and you're too busy acting like a child to notice anything going on around you."

Nancy had wanted to talk with Catherine, not scream at her. She had started out almost yelling to get Catherine's attention, but hadn't wanted to sounds as angry as she had ended up. But it was the only way she could think of to get through to Catherine at the moment. Nancy wasn't sure how effective it had been screaming, but at least it seemed to have stopped Catherine's pacing. She took it as a sign that Catherine was ready to hear what she was saying.

"Another fight? When did that happen?" Catherine's voice was trembling. She hadn't noticed how bad it had become with Lindsey. Too busy with her own denial to notice what had been going on with her daughter.

Nancy proceeded to tell Catherine about everything the older woman had been missing, while caught up in herself. Everything Lindsey had been doing, every small thing, Nancy now knew had been a call for help. She told Catherine all about the bad, but also about the good times.

Nancy wanted to know what had caused both of the Willows to hurt, but it wasn't the right time to try to work out what Catherine was feeling, or what had caused the imbalance causing Catherine's want to escape.

Helping Lindsey was higher on Nancy's list, than finding the reason for Catherine's problems. So getting Catherine to acknowledge that something wasn't right was the first step, and apparently Catherine had started realizing that even before Nancy next step, Nancy knew was to keep Catherine focused so she wouldn't panic again. Nancy would try to help keep Catherine's fighting spirit up, and from getting discouraged and giving up. That would be the hard part, and not only a one time thing.

rrrr

The first step of turning things around was that Catherine took the time to spend with Lindsey. But Lindsey at first didn't want to believe the changes her mom promised. The first week Lindsey hardly spoke to her mom, and didn't want to spend time with her. It did get better, but it was slow going.

There was no magic fix for Lindsey or Catherine. Them spending time together was a help for both of them. It wasn't easy for Catherine to find all that much time to devote to her daughter. They were still one CSI short at work, but had been promised that someone new would start in the new year.

Resolving things with Lindsey, also affected Catherine at work in a good way. The good news for the rest of the people working in the lab was that Catherine stopped bitting everyones head off.

Catherine didn't go back to her usual self. She became more quiet and closed off. Not socializing unless absolutely necessary. Quietly going about her work. Her whole being radiating a sadness, that those around her didn't know how to ease.

Catherine spent as much time as she could with Lindsey. Doing what she could to shield Lindsey from all the bad things in the world. Usually that mostly meant from anything work related. After they started spending time together again, it was as much herself Catherine wanted to shield Lindsey from. It wasn't that Catherine was afraid she would physically hurt her daughter. But she didn't want Lindsey to be affected by the depression Catherine knew she was falling into.

rrrr

Nancy had talked to Catherine daily, after the day she had screamed at her sister.

At first Nancy had focused their talks on what would help Lindsey moved on from the anger. After Lindsey had started coming around, and was willing to talk to Catherine, Nancy started focusing their talk on Catherine.

To get Catherine to look at her own emotions, that had caused the withdrawal, had been difficult and drawn out. Nancy felt like she had had to pull out every word to begin with. It had gotten better, but it hadn't gotten easy for Catherine to talk about her emotions.

By Thanksgiving Nancy felt the Willows' were doing better, and that brining the subject of Sara up wouldn't cause Catherine to withdraw again.

Catherine hadn't been happy about having to talk about Sara, and had tried avoiding the subject. Nancy hadn't let Catherine get away with the avoiding. The disagreement had resulted in a heated discussion Catherine had left, before she regretted something she said.

The next day had brought Catherine back willing to talk.

"You ready to tell me why Sara is such a sore subject?" Nancy hadn't expected Catherine to be back so soon.

"I'm not sure I know why."

Being willing to talk about Sara, didn't mean Catherine knew why she had been reacting as she had.

When Catherine didn't say more, Nancy let the silence continue, wanting her sister to talk on her own, and not having to interrogate her to find the reason for Catherine's anger.

Not wanting to hurry Catherine, Nancy started coffee brewing. By the time Nancy had poured two mugs of coffee, Catherine still hadn't started explaining. Nancy was all for taking your time, but she didn't have forever, and it was starting to look like she would have to wait that long if she didn't prompt her sister with questions.

"Before all this happened, what was Sara to you?"

Catherine looked up from the table, she had been staring at, to Nancy like she should have known the answer to the question already.

"She was a friend."

"Was that all?"

"Okay, a great friend. Was that what you meant?"

"We're getting somewhere at least. But you have to start talking, if we're to get anywhere. I need you to talk. Try elaborating on what made Sara a great friend."

Nancy hoped she could get her sister to talk about Sara, and that way open Catherine's eyes to what had happened.

Catherine didn't know what her sister wanted, but Nancy had helped her so far and she was willing to give Nancy the benefit of a doubt. But that didn't mean she knew what to say.

"What do you want to know?"

"What about why you changed your mind about Sara? For a long time all I heard was how horrific you found Sara."

"I didn't hate her." Catherine was quick to point that out.

"It sure sounded like it." Nancy was hoping this would get Catherine to finally talk.

It did work and Catherine talked about how Sara had helped Lindsey and how that had changed the way she regarded the brunette.

By the end of the long talk, Catherine still didn't see why Nancy thought Sara was so important in getting her life back in order.

Nancy though, had gotten the confirmation she needed to be sure that Catherine didn't just want Sara as a friend.

Before leaving Nancy managed to get Catherine to admit that she would like Sara back as a friend.

"You could talk to her Cath, say you're sorry. That goes a long way."

"I'll think about it, baby sister." Catherine knew how much Nancy hated being called that, but she couldn't help wanting to get in a parting shot after a difficult afternoon.


	31. Chapter 31

**Chapter 31**

A few nights later, Catherine still hadn't called Sara. Even though Nancy had reminded her several times a day.

Starting her shift that night with a trip to the morgue. Dr. Robbins had left a message that he had found something in one of her open cases.

On the way in to the morgue Catherine saw Sara coming out of Dr. Robbins office. Freezing momentarily, Catherine didn't have the chance to call out to Sara, before the brunette had disappeared out of the building. Not that she would have known what to say.

Continuing into the morgue, Catherine tried to sound casual. "Was that Sidle I just saw?"

Dr. Robbins didn't buy Catherine's casualness, but he decided not to ask about it.

"She was here on business."

Dismissing anything further on the subject of Sara with his answer for the brunette's visit. He like everybody else had witnessed Catherine's treatment of Sara. He didn't want to give the CSI anything new to fuel the anger toward his friend.

Dr. Robbins dismissal only had Catherine more curious as to why the brunette would talk business with an ME. She had heard from the talk in the lab that Sara taught at the University. She couldn't see the connection. Not knowing was bugging her.

rrrr

Catherine had needed several days to talk herself into making the call to Sara. It wasn't easy for Catherine to admit that she was wrong, and even less for her to ask to be allowed back in Sara's life.

She had been about to call Sara a couple of times that day already, leaving it off just before pressing dial. Catherine thought she had done that one more time, when she heard Sara's voice. She had pressed dial instead of cancel. Catherine didn't know what to say and debated with herself to hang up.

Sara had been in the middle of work and hadn't bothered to check to see who was calling, just picking up the phone and answered.

"Sidle."

Sara had answered the phone that way since she had started her professional career, and hadn't lost the habit even though it wasn't necessary any longer. She didn't notice anymore.

When she didn't hear anything, Sara looked at the display to see if she had been hung up on. To her surprise it was Catherine's name on the display, and the call was still open.

"Catherine?"

Catherine had frozen, when she had heard Sara's voice, and couldn't seem to get the words out to answer Sara.

Still not getting an answer, Sara was starting to get nervous. All the horrible things that could have happened started running through her mind.

"Cat, are you there? Did something happen to Lindsey?"

The sound of panic Catherine could hear creeping into Sara's voice, pulled her out of her frozen state.

"No, Lindsey's okay. I'm sorry I called you."

Feeling horrible for having scared Sara, Catherine was about to hang up.

"Wait Catherine, don't hang up. Why did you call?"

Hearing that Lindsey wasn't hurt, Sara was curious why Catherine was calling her. She wanted to keep Catherine talking, but didn't know what to say to accomplice that.

"Sorry." Catherine found it hard to apologize, so she just blurted out the word sorry and didn't follow up with any explanation.

"You got to explain that, Cat. Sorry doesn't mean much if you don't know the context."

Sara didn't know if it was because Catherine was sorry or she wanted an apology from her. Sara was leaning to the latter, but she wasn't sure what Catherine wanted an apology for.

When Catherine still didn't say anymore. Sara convinced herself that it was an apology the other woman was waiting for. The trouble was that she didn't know what it was Catherine wanted her to apologize for.

"I'm sorry Catherine, but I don't know what it is I've done wrong."

Catherine wanted to hit herself over the head, once more she had made Sara feel she was the one doing something wrong.

"No, Sara, you didn't do anything wrong. It's me that want and need to apologize."

Sara hadn't heard Catherine apologize to anyone other than Lindsey. She hadn't expected to ever hear Catherine say sorry to her, but she didn't think the other woman had anything to apologize for.

"Catherine, you don't have to apologize."

"You may not think so, but I do want to apologize, and I would like to explain. Are you willing to meet and let me explain in person?"

Catherine was hoping Sara would agree to meet with her. She would like to be able to show that her apology wasn't just words, but that she meant it. She had always found it easier to talk face to face rather than on the phone.

Sara was surprised at the suggestion of meeting, but she would have agreed to almost any suggestion Catherine made.

They agreed to meet for coffee the next day after Sara's work day and before Catherine's started.

rrrr

Sara had been distracted after the call from Catherine. She hadn't been able to concentrate, and hadn't gotten any work done the rest of the day. She was distracted to the point where Emily noticed. Emily thought Sara's distraction was caused by sadness. So Emily tried to be especially nice to her mama, hoping to make her mama happy.

The next day at work wasn't much better for Sara. Luckily she didn't have to teach a class that day.

Catherine hadn't done much better concentrating at work. She had been caught lost in thought more than once. Trying to find the right words to explain to Sara, and hopefully save a friendship. After work Catherine hadn't been able to sleep because of nervousness, and had spent the day cleaning her house. When she ran out of rooms and things to clean, Catherine showed up at the diner early.

Trying to wait patiently for Sara, Catherine drank coffee and kept folding and refolding napkins. By the time Sara arrived, Catherine had lost count of how many cups of coffee she had had, and there was pieces of napkins on the table.

The coffee hadn't helped Catherine, only resulted in her having trouble sitting still. Without being able to get up and walk around, Catherine nervously shifted around and tapped her feet.

That was how Sara saw Catherine, when she walked into the diner. The clear signs of Catherine's nervousness, calmed Sara's nerves.

"Hi Catherine, sorry I'm late, I got a call I had to take, just as I was leaving."

Sara hated being late to anything, but this time had been worse. Scared that Catherine would have left when she arrived, even when she was only 15 minutes late.

Catherine didn't want Sara to know she had started to fear the brunette wouldn't show up. She was relieved Sara had shown up, and wouldn't let something as Sara being a little late ruin her chance to apologize.

"That's okay Sara. I would've waited a lot longer."

Catherine hadn't meant to say the last part, but she had a tendency to say more than she wanted to around Sara. In the past that had usually been in anger.

Now that Sara was sitting in front of her, Catherine couldn't remember the apology she had been practicing since the younger woman had agreed to meet her.

Sara patiently waited for Catherine to say what the other woman wanted to say. She was quietly watching Catherine trying to find the words to say and the courage to actually say them. She had all the time Catherine needed, and didn't mind waiting quietly.

"I'm sorry," Once Catherine started, the words just kept coming. Not what she had been practicing, but it was some kind of an explanation.

Sara got the gist of what Catherine was saying, but much of it didn't make sense. Catherine genuinely conveyed her apology, and that was all Sara cared about. She was okay with not understanding the explanation, at that point, hoping she would have the opportunity to hear a more cohesive explanation another time. That Catherine was willing to give her an apology, and the nervousness expressed in the explanation gave Sara hope that friendship was a possibility.

Sara was open to pick up the friendship again, but that didn't mean she was ready to trust Catherine enough to let the other woman all the way in. It was hard enough to trust the first time, and that hadn't worked out. Usually Sara didn't give people a second chance to hurt her, and she was hoping Catherine would prove her wrong, and for once she wouldn't end up hurt.

It wasn't something new for Sara to hide part of herself. She didn't intent to come out and say she didn't trust Catherine. Wanting to be a friend without risking too much.

Even after Sara had accepted Catherine's apology, the atmosphere had been awkward. It had been hard to find something to talk about. They had finally started talking about Lindsey and Emily. That had lessened the awkwardness, and the conversation had flowed easily. It had started to fell like before when they had met regularly for breakfast.

Once they had started talking, the rest of the diner had been forgotten. They even forgot about time, and Catherine had had to rush to work to not be late. Catherine hadn't wanted to leave, afraid that once she left, Sara would realize she wasn't worth the second chance. She didn't have a choice, there was no way she would be able to get the night off. There were also the fact that Sara had to get home to Emily, so they wouldn't have been able to continue talking, no matter how much Catherine wanted it.

Sara had been very specific on the time she had to be home. That had surprised Catherine since the brunette had mentioned Cam was staying with Emily.

Whatever the reason Catherine didn't want to question anything and risk Sara finally getting angry with her, as she felt she deserved.

Sara didn't want to admit why she had to leave. Believing it would just show Catherine that she wasn't a good mother. The fear of being a bad parent, haunted Sara no matter the progress Emily made or how happy the girl was.

Much to Catherine's surprise, Sara was the one to suggest they meet again another time. At that point Catherine would have been happy to agree to any time and place Sara would like to meet. Hoping it wouldn't take away too much time from Lindsey, but at that moment Catherine wanted to salvage and begin the friendship, before finding the reason Lindsey was so angry at Sara.

Sara had suggested they meet for breakfast on Thursday where she didn't have to be at the University early. That way Sara figured both girls would be at school and neither of them would have to miss out on time with their daughters.


	32. Chapter 32

Chapter 32

Nancy noticed the difference in Catherine right away after the first meeting with Sara.

The time spent with Sara, gave from the first day Catherine more energy in her life. It only got better as the friendship with Sara evolved.

Lindsey improved as Catherine's mood and energy level increased. Thriving in the attention and time she was spending with her mom. But Lindsey still didn't want to meet with Sara, when Catherine suggested a Saturday with Emily and Sara.

That was the first time, since Catherine had decided to change, that Lindsey had gotten angry.

Catherine was only slightly surprised. The few time she had brought up Sara, Lindsey had either changed the subject or tried to leave the room. She didn't want to ignore what, Catherine now realized, was her daughter hurting over something to do with Sara.

The trouble was getting her stubborn daughter to talk about what was bothering her. Getting things talked out with Lindsey, wasn't made easier by the increase in crimes that came when the holidays was getting closer. With them still being understaffed at work, the pick up in crimes meant Catherine had to work longer hours. Forcing her to have Lindsey stay more with Nancy, and postponing their Christmas preparations. That didn't help matters in trying to talk to Lindsey.

"But mom, you promised it would be just us. Why can't it be like that."

Lindsey had looked forward to the day they had planed, getting to spend time with her mom. And wasn't looking forward to having to share her alone time with her mom with Emily and Sara. It was supposed to be their day, and it had already been moved a couple of times already, because of mom's work.

"I know this was supposed to be our time, and it still will be. I thought we could help Emily get her first Christmas tree since her mom died. And you're the best at picking trees and getting the right amount of marshmallows to the hot chocolate we always have while decorating the tree. I thought we could share that with Emily and Sara."

Catherine knew she wouldn't persuade Lindsey by bringing Sara into it, but hoped Emily was another thing.

Lindsey had been more okay with Sara in the last couple of weeks after getting angry with her mom. She didn't go out of her way to talk to, or be in the same room as Sara when they both were at Nancy's. But she didn't storm out any longer.

Catherine hadn't wanted to push too hard, but she had tried to give Lindsey the opportunity to see that Sara hadn't betrayed their trust, and that she had picked up the friendship again. Sara had been the best role model and Catherine wanted that back, as well as her girl real happy again.

Lindsey wasn't ecstatic about spending time with Sara and Emily. She knew she could have gotten her way and spent the day alone with her mom. Helping Emily, as her mom had said, overruled her want to stay away from Sara and spend time alone with her mom.

She had a hard time trusting Sara again, she wanted to, but there was a small voice in the back of her mind. Warning her that Sara would leave her again. She wanted to give in and let Sara back in. But it was difficult to just stop being angry. Lindsey missed the time and things she had shared with Sara, especially the time they had spent working on the car. She was getting closer to letting her anger go and give Sara a chance, but she wasn't all the way there yet.

Even though Lindsey was still mad at Sara, she wasn't mad at Emily. She liked Emily, and knew the younger girl had started a new school in a new city, and with a mom that didn't have experience with all the kids things a mom should know.

"Fine, but it has to be the mini marshmallows, the ones you bought last year tasted wrong."

Catherine couldn't help but laugh at that. "Yes, I'd remembered the mini marshmallows. The ones from last year was the same brand just regular size."

Lindsey had alway insisted the regularly sized marshmallows tasted differently than the minis. Mentioning the marshmallows, Catherine knew Lindsey was okay with the idea and not just humoring her.

rrrr

At the tree lot, Lindsey and Emily both wanted the biggest tree they could find. Lindsey was explaining to Emily how to find a tree that had the best branches for decorating and where there would be room for presents.

Without either of the girls noticing Sara was paying as much attention as her little girl to what Lindsey was saying about how to find the best tree.

Sara had never bought a tree for herself, and had only experienced Christmas while living with Caroline and with briefly Sam. She was determined that Emily would get the Christmas the girl wanted. To do that, Sara had found that the tree was essential. As was the decorations, they had planned to go shopping for tomorrow. Emily had made sure her mama knew what was important.

Emily's exited yell, tore Sara from her thoughts about what they still had to do before Christmas, and the short time they had.

"Mama can we get this one?"

Emily was pointing to the highest tree in the lot. Well, over anything they could fit in their apartment.

"Em, that tree won't fit in the living room, you got to find something not as tall and wide."

Sara's voice showed patience, she didn't want Emily to think she couldn't chose their tree, after Sara had promised Emily would get to decide. The only contribution Sara had felt was needed from her, was the need for the tree to be able to fit in their living room. Sara wouldn't mind if Emily chose a tree that would necessitate they moved some furniture, but they still had to be able to use the room. Emily had agreed when Sara had brought up that condition, but had been forgotten when the young girl had seen the big Christmas tree.

Emily didn't have to say anything else, it was written plain as day on her face. She wanted that big tree.

"I know Em, it's pretty. Next year we might be able to get a bigger tree when we've found a house."

"But mama, I want a big tree this year."

"I know sweetie, and we'll find the biggest one that will fit, promise."

Lindsey could understand wanting a big tree. She had alway wanted the biggest tree in the lot, but they had never gotten anything but smallish trees. Lindsey could see the almost tears in Emily's eyes, and heard that Sara hadn't excluded all the big trees. Even that next Christmas there was the possibility of a bigger tree.

"Come on Emily, let's look at the trees over there instead, those are prettier and don't loose the needles so fast, so you can keep the tree inside longer."

With that Lindsey dragged Emily toward groupings of smaller trees. Before stopping at any specific height grouping, Lindsey looked to Sara to see which size Sara would allow. Sara had nodded towards the grouping larger than what Lindsey knew she would be taking home.

While Lindsey and Emily looked around in that size grouping, Catherine got Sara attention.

"You do know that now Lindsey will want to get that large a tree."

Catherine was enjoying the look of joy on both children's faces, not really minding that she would have to get a larger tree this year.

"What? Why? You don't have to get the same size."

Sara was confused as to why the size of the tree Emily could get, would also mean Lindsey and Catherine had to get the same size.

"It's fine, it was time to upgrade our tree." Catherine smiled.

Sara found Catherine's answer confusing, but before she could inquire further about the meaning, Emily's excitement about two of the trees the girl's had been looking at, drew the attention of both adults.

"Mama, can we have these two? please."

Emily looked at Sara with pleading eyes, hoping they could get two Christmas trees. She hadn't considered how two trees would fit in the living room. In her mind it was fully logical that now they had the right height there would be room for both trees. She didn't think about where to put them, she just saw the picture of two decorated trees in her mind.

"Em, I know you'll like a Christmas tree to decorate and to celebrate Christmas. But we don't have room for both of them. You'll have to choose one for our home, but if you ask nicely you might be able to talk Cam into letting you help her pick her tree."

The last part about Cam had been added as an after thought, after having seen the look in Emily's eyes at not being allowed both trees. Sara didn't want to do anything that could ruin this Christmas. It was the first Christmas after Sam's death and the first Christmas Emily would be able to remember celebrating with Sara. And Sara wanted to make it special, starting their own traditions and keeping some of the traditions Emily had had with her mom.

Catherine saw what she recognized could lead to a very sad Emily or in the worst case a tantrum.

"That's some pretty trees you chose Emily."

Catherine looked to Lindsey, hoping her daughter would understand what she tried to convey before she continued.

"You know what, if Lindsey likes them, we could buy one of the trees. That way you can help decorate both of them, and you'll get to see both trees."

Catherine hoped this way would make Emily happy, and she would get a chance to include Emily and Sara in the Willows family traditions for Christmas. Even better if Lindsey would openly welcome both Sara and Emily to participate in their family.

Her and Lindsey could always use more family, and it sounded like Emily could use all the family the young girl could get.

Lindsey hadn't understood the look her mom had given her, but combined with what her mom had said, it had given Lindsey an idea of what her mom wanted.

Lindsey didn't mind helping Emily or even Sara, she just had a hard time letting the brunette in again. Scared to trust, much in the same way Sara was. There was also her promise to her mom about giving Sara a second chance. Her mom's suggestion would also be the first year they would get that size tree. A big plus in Lindsey's book.

"Yeah Em, you chose one for your home, and the other one me and mom take home, You can help decorate if your mom lets you. We have hot chocolate with mini marshmallows."

Emily wasn't convinced it was a good ides. "But I want two trees."

"This will sorta feel like having two trees. They'll just be in two houses. I don't think you could have both in your small apartment."

Everyone in Lindsey's life lived in houses, and it wasn't until she had been to Sara's home that she had been in an apartment. So to her anything less than a house was a tiny home. Lindsey was right that the two trees wouldn't fit in the apartment, no matter how much Emily wanted it.

Emily wasn't convinced it was the best idea, she still wanted both trees, and she wasn't sure the idea that it would also be her tree when it was at Lindsey's house. But her mama had said they couldn't have both trees. And if there was one thing she knew, it was that a no meant no. At least from her mama, Cam she could sometimes persuade to change her mind. More and more spoke to the advantage of agreeing with Lindsey, but she had to make sure it wasn't just something Lindsey was promising.

Turning pleading eyes toward Sara and Catherine, Emily knew she would need permission from her mama and Catherine.

"Mama, can we keep one of them?"

To Emily that was most important. It wouldn't matter if Lindsey got a tree if she didn't. She had momentarily forgotten that her mama had already promised they could get a tree.

"Yes Em, you can chose one of them. I promised you the biggest tree that would fit. And we always keep our promises, right?"

"Yeah, if not sure you don't promise."

It wasn't the first time they had gone through what a promise meant. Keeping promises was very important to Sara, and she wanted it to be important to Emily.

"Can we help Lindsey decorate her tree?"

Emily looked between Catherine and her mama. Knowing that Catherine's answer was as important as her mama's.

Sara wasn't sure if she should answer first, and potentially put Catherine on the spot, or if she should wait to see what Catherine's answer was.

Catherine knew it only depended on Sara's answer, she had already been the one to suggest this solution, and didn't think there was any question of her answer. With Sara's hesitation, Catherine thought the brunette had forgotten her earlier invitation. Catherine didn't want to force Sara into agreeing if she didn't want to. Waiting until Sara looked at her, Catherine gave a slight nod, hoping Sara would understand.

Sara though slower than normal did get an idea of what Catherine meant. At least she hoped she did.

"Yes Em, we can help Lindsey." Before Emily could say anything Sara gave her a pointed look. "But...you will have to ask Catherine."

Emily could hardly contain her happy energy, but she knew she would have to ask Catherine first before she could jump into her mama's arms.

Sara found some things very important in her parenting of Emily, most she had learned from Caroline. There was also things she didn't think as important as other parents.

Emily turned her best pleading look toward Catherine, still staying close to her mama. "Please Catherine, can I come help Lindsey decorate the tree?"

Suddenly Emily became shy as she started talking to Catherine. Wanting to hide behind her mama but still wanting to be polite when asking.

Catherine couldn't help the smile at Emily's sudden shyness.

"Of cause sweetie, you and your mama are more than welcome to join us for the decorating and the hot chocolate."

The hot chocolate was a big part of their Christmas tree decorating tradition. And Catherine would like to include Sara and Emily. She had wanted to invite them to their home sooner, but had wanted to give Lindsey time to not only trust Sara again, but to also believe that she would be there and wouldn't leave again.

It had been a difficult month, but she could see the progress she had made with Lindsey. The way Lindsey interacted with Emily and even Sara that day proved to Catherine that she hadn't ruined everything with her daughter beyond repair. There was still a way to go, but they would get there together.

Emily after getting her answer didn't need to keep her excitement in check. Jumping into her mama's arms giggling and wriggling. The wriggling was mostly due to Sara tickling her.

"Mama, can we decorate Lindsey's tree today? So you'll know what we need when we buy Christmas things tomorrow."

The last part caught both Lindsey and Catherine's attention. It was Lindsey that spoke both of their disbelief.

"You don't have any Christmas decorations."

Lindsey was staring at Sara and Emily like something was wrong with them.

Sara didn't know what to say to that. Yes, she didn't have any decorations, but she did have a box from Samantha that she did't know if she should bring out or let it sit in the storage room.

Emily on the other hand didn't mind answering.

"Me and mommy had some, now it's only a small box, but mama didn't do Christmas. But she say we'll do Christmas right, and I got a calendar and it's got chocolate each morning. We're late, but mama promised we buy a tree and Christmas things this weekend."

Emily was exited about everything Christmas and even though Sara didn't have any Christmas decorations, she had done what she could to make the holiday as good as she could. The reason for the Advent calendar Emily had mentioned.

Sara was surprised to hear that Emily knew about Sam's box of Christmas decorations. When Emily ran out of steam, Catherine stepped into the conversation, giving Sara time to collect herself. She had seen the shock on Sara's face when Emily had mentioned the box of decorations.

"You are lucky. You might want to look and see what's in the box, so you'll know what you already have."

The last part was as much meant for Sara. There was no reason for Sara to keep things from Sam hidden. The things was a part of Emily and her mom and Emily would need to keep the memories as she grew. Catherine knew it would be difficult to see Sam's things, and be reminded of what had happened, but with time the memories would become of the good kind. It would also help Emily remember her mom.

Sara didn't know why Catherine encouraged them to get Sam's box of Christmas decorations. But she took the hint as to using Sam and Emily's things and not just keeping them in the storage room. It did sound like Emily was ready for Sara to bring out Sam's things. Now the question was if she was ready.


End file.
